Fiona Thunderpaws

Page and a half, single spaced. Approximately.... 800 words? My mentor advised me to keep it short and sweet.

Anxious_Aspirant--I'm more or less applying right out of undergrad. I took a year off to apply and hoped to get a job doing something professionally helpful, but instead I worked at a fish market and as a server. I think this might be leading to my uncertainty, because while I know I want to go to grad school, I'm pretty uncertain about everything else. I see what you mean about planning round two to distract yourself from what you're doing now, since it's not what you want to do. I guess that's part of my issue--applying distracted me from my situation, but I know I can't fall back into my situation. I don't make any money, but I also know I can't get a job in my hometown (notorious for not having job openings for local grads without STEM degrees). So, it's a little catch-22 ish, and a whole different kind of stress/worry. Venti White Choc. Mocha--I don't know if you're addressing me, but if so, thank you! I know people with MAs are struggling and I feel very, very honored and humbled that I was even waitlisted this round. Part of me thinks someone else has my exact name and they sent the notification to the wrong person.

The thought of calling UTA's DGS makes me shudder, I give you points for doing it! I think I would just gape on my end like a fish and all my questions would dry on my tongue. Yeah, as soon I was waitlisted I poured over last seasons' UTA information--posts, results survey, all of it--trying to gauge my chances of getting. A waitlist couldn't possibly be larger than the amount of first round applicants, right? RIGHT?! Good luck getting into your school too, Wikichic! Which program is it, if you don't mind me asking?

I commend you both for already thinking about this stuff. I am placing a ridiculous amount of hope into my single waitlist, mostly because part of me feels like it HAS to pull through. For my own sanity, for the world to be right, ect. Clearly, I have some delusions. But, this might be taking things back a step even further, but how did you two (and anyone else who feels like replying, of course!) know you wanted to do a second round of applications? It seems like a lot of people in on TGC have done multiple rounds. While going to grad school and being a professor is absolutely my dream, if things don't work out for me this round I don't know if I could or should do it again. Maybe I'm just questioning my worth as a scholar-- I know I'm good at what I do, but I also know I'm not an academic rockstar. Is this area only for the rockstars among us? Is it truly that selective? And I just better off trying to win the lottery?

This was my original plan. But with my excellent job as a server, when I told people I didn't really have any plans they just gave me the Look anyway. I know what you mean about people not understanding how competitive it is to get in too. When I would try to air my worries, my friends would say "but you have a 4.0 pretty much, don't you?" If only good grades/test scores were enough to get in!

Yeah, it's rough. I've been avoiding any and all contact with them since this process started. If they ask my parents about, they say I haven't heard anything yet. If my waitlist doesn't work out, I think I'm going to make up an unfunded offer that of course I had to decline. I really, really can't deal with the look from my family. It's definitely a little pathetic on my end.

No, actually! It was on the other side of the Arno, near Santa Croce. Pretty much right outside the door of my apartment building was this restaurant with a little pizza annex kitchen in the back. It didn't even have a name. This man made all the pizzas himself, and people would queue up outside the door waiting to get one of the six tables. He knew my roomates and I by sight and would make our dough in the shape of hearts and stuff. I have DREAMS about that pizza!

Your mother's been sending you job notifications? Ugh, I'm so sorry! That must be terrible. My parents have been supportive of my decision to apply, even though they think I'm crazy and making a bad choice. Over the summer, my mom told me she thought I was applying to grad school for a "vacation." You know, the sort of dream vacation everyone wants where you don't sleep and read 800 pages a week and the only thing you can afford to eat is ramen. For me, my extended family makes this process so much worse. I'm one of the youngest of 20+ grandkids, and have the great misfortune of being the only person to ever apply for a PhD... So where no one ever paid my life activities any mind before, they all keep asking me how it's going... The Horror, the horror!

GuateAmfeminist-- whoa, really? We have inverse subfields! Now we both really need to get in! I think more than anything else, if this all works out, I am most excited to be with people who are as excited about research as I am, and we would definitely be research buddies! And I haven't reached the intrepid stage where I can email Dr. Lesser again. I asked him about waitlisters visited when I got the notification, but nothing since then. I feel like it's strange your emails to other professors are forwarded to him though. I plan on emailing him this week in the hopes of getting some grad student contacts, and I'll you know how that goes. I know last year a lot of the waitlisers were upset because UTA did not do a good job of keeping in contact with them. I hope it's not like that this year... Wikichic--you've already been waitlisted for a month? I take my hat off to you! Has your program given you any updates so far? And don't worry, if Texas wasn't as far away from New York, I would consider camping outside the department too.

I have been managing my impressive track of rejections by not mentioning that I even applied to programs to people who don't already know what I've been up to. I know that sounds terrible, but... I just can't deal with their reactions. I kind of wish I had never told anyone what I was doing, so I could just deal with it on my own. But no. It's like the horrible moment where someone passes away, and even though you just want to grieve, you have to notify everyone. Okay, getting rejected isn't that bad. But, sometimes it really feels that way. It's just there's this certain look people get when you tell them you've been rejected, surprise masked with sympathy, a heavy dose of pity. That look kills me.

My partner lent me his copy of Zen early on when we were dating and told me it was his absolute favourite book ever. I wanted things to work out, so I knew I had to read it and be able to make some sort of comment beyond "it was good, sugar pumpkin!" But that section on quality nearly ruined me.

I imagine how I will break the news of my awesome acceptance to my friends, family, and mentors all the time. I know UTA emails acceptances so I can't imagine the phone call. But I will archive it and keep it forever. I've already read the waitlist email about ten times. I horde it like it's some sort of lover's token... It's official folks, Thunderpaws is off the deep end. And I totally plan on emailing the DGS with questions next week. I decided to hold off a week, because I don't want to come off as the crazy, desperate person that I am. He pretty much told me the same thing TripWillis mentioned--they won't really know anything until after recruitment weekend. Which is in early April. I think I'm going to drink the bottle of gin I just procured and dream of meeting you all at MLA 2013!

Antecedant--The first round I drink will be for all of you! I don't know what curious miracle decided to make me a potential UTA person, but I know all of you deserve it just as much, if not more! I really, really hope one day us 2012 application season people will all meet up at a conference sometime just so I can meet the awesome people behind the names. Here's to everyone!

I hope you get in too! One of my side interests is Ethnic and Third World Lit (but don't worry, I'm in the Women, Gender and Lit subfield, I just like dabbling ) so we could join the same reading group! Or get drunk at happy hour together in the beautiful, beautiful Austin weather. Or just do both.

Haha! +1

I think you do know what you want to study! But I also think--no wait, I know--the application process is a brutal, brutal thing that makes us question our value and worth as scholars or even people in general. A friend of my mine is doing very well at a top 25 program, but he still doesn't feel like he belongs even though he's excelling. The process haunts us all. But I do think eventually we're better for going through it! And I'd be happy to answer your questions about Buffalo! What I mean about the distance isn't that things that are said don't get done was more aimed at the school itself than the English department. UB has, for lack of a better name, "illusions of grandeur," in my opinion. In my years at UB, I've noticed a steady decline of their quality of education in general, but instead of acknowledging the issues, the administration upped undergraduate enrollment and decided to pour a TON of money into the med school. Now, I don't think improving the quality of the med school is a bad thing, but I do think it's a bad thing when it's done in lieu of restoring the quality of undergrad education, because undergrads are the lifeblood of the place. The English department can be a little scatter brained at time (because after all, it IS the English department), but they really make an effort to fulfill all their obligations and if a professor forgets to do something for you, an email or a visit to their office is enough to fix the problem. Consistently, English has been UB's highest ranked department, but this goes largely unacknowledged by the administration. I didn't even know it, until I visited the department when I was admitted as an undergrad, and I'm Buffalo born and raised! None of the administration's bullshit exists in the department. The people are gifted, intelligent, and approachable. Throughout my application process, my professors really went the extra mile to help me out with SOPs, writing samples, and helped me keep my marbles when I thought I was losing it. And the grad students are a great, tight-knit group. As an undergrad, I felt a little alienated because I was one of the very, very few who wanted to pursue academia in my classes, but when I audited a grad class last semester, I was blown away by how amiable and supportive everyone was. When they learned I was applying, they told me about programs friends were at, helped me find more GRE study sources, and made me feel welcome in general, even though I was an undergrad squatter! My class got together a few times outside of class, and people were always hanging around to talk about things before and after class itself. The English and Comp Lit programs are pretty close, and there was a lot of crossover with both students and content. I audited the course partially to see if I was up to the rigeur of grad level courses, and I must confess the atmosphere of the grad students made me feel more certain that applying to schools was the right choice (I was worried grad school was all about people trying to sabotage and out-do each other). If I didn't feel like I've already spent enough time at UB, I would definitely want to join the department!

THIS. I have nothing else to add.

I was pretty optimistic for a while--about a whole week. I had already 100% resigned myself to shutout. The day UT Austin and Rutgers acceptances both went out, oh god, the absolute misery! So compared to that, getting waitlisted has almost been as good as getting in, because it means that I haven't been deluded myself with dreams of intellectual grandeur. But now I realize that with UTA's recruitment weekend being so late, I won't hear anything from them until April. And the horrible doubt-monster sinks it's claws in me again! If I don't get in, I'm shut out. And while I always guessed the last rejection would be the most painful, I know it'll be worse because I had a shred of hope to cling to. Of course, all this means that by the time I hear from UTA, I may have been institutionalized so it won't matter either way!

So, how are you other waitlisted people dealing with the wait? I've been looking up everything, and I do mean everything, about my school and the area. I know how much it costs to get into the zoo, for God's sake. If my program were a person, the police would probably have a restraining out for me by now. I feel like I should be informed in case they make me an offer close to the 15th (which will probably be the case), but I also feel like I'll be even more crushed if I don't get an offer after knowing how oh-so-sweet it could've been! ...I think it's time to make a trip to the beer fridge.

Memberofthe-- I lived in Florence for a little while, and I spent far more than I should've on food there. If you're heading that way and want some restaurant suggestions, PM me! It's just about my favourite thing to talk about.

Hey Anxious_Aspirant (love your username, by the way)! I don't really know of any schools doing what you're looking to do since our fields are pretty different, but if you're wary of obtaining a second MA but want to bolster your further applications, I really recommend auditing a grad or two at a nearby school. I did this last fall, and while my application season thus far has been largely unsuccessful (due to not really knowing how to pick schools for fit more than anything), I think my audited course added an impressive section to my SOP, maintained my writing skills during my time off, and helped me think of a lot of topics I would like to pursue in postgrad studies. I audited a course at my undergrad institute so I didn't have to do much to get in, but I know someone mentioned somewhere that they managed to audit a course at a top 25 school in their area after s/he emailed them and demonstrated how serious s/he was about the course. And auditing a course is free!

I'm thrown between getting the best bottle of gin I can afford and having gin and tonics all day, or dancing naked down the quad of my undergrad institute. Both maybe? I feel like one leads to the other somehow...

April fifteenth, for better or worse, everything will be over! I can't speak for everyone here, but no words have ever been sweeter to me. What are you going to do to celebrate the end? I think we all need something to look forward to throughout these last few weeks!

Thanks, Bespeckled! I'm glad to hear things worked out for you this season! I would be delighted with one acceptance, plus it would spare me the agony of choosing,

I did my English undergrad at UB, and audited a grad class, so while I'm no authority, I hope I can help you out a little! UB really promotes interdisciplinary and cross departmental work. My grad class was almost 50/50 in terms of English and Comp Lit students. Even in my higher level undergrad courses, there was a decent amount of cross over. I had very few class requirements when I sought my BA, and I got the sense that the graduate area had a very similar "hands off" approach. Now, that's not to say the faculty aren't supportive--they are all gifted and approachable individuals--but UB is definitely not a place for people who do well with structure, or who have a hard time self-starting. As far as faculty strengths go, you might already know theory is huge there. My grad course was in theory, and wow, what an experience! But I think most of the fields are quite strong. Gender and Sexuality studies permeated most of my classes-- even though with faculty who aren't considered a part of the subfield. I found their contemporary literature and the 19th century faculty excellent. I'm not sure what your places of getting into a top tier PhD program would be with an MA from UB, but if you ask the DGS of Comp Lit I'm sure they'd be happy to tell you. I've never heard of an English MA being funded at UB, so if Comp Lit finds their MAs, you're definitely ahead of the game. Funding as a whole is tight at UB, which is certainly an issue. That's all I can think of off the top of my head. Also, seriously, if you're thinking of emailing a POI and shooting them some of these questions, go for it. UB English people (and Comp Lit people, as they share a building and I've run into quite a few of them) are very pleasant and helpful!