Firled

Being first generation and minority, it's annoying to be around relatives who simply cannot fathom why a Ph.D. takes so long! I am only in my second year, but keeping getting asked "Are you done yet?" by family members. I then have to patiently explain that a Ph.D. takes a minimum of 4 years and involves a dissertation at which point I get a blank stare. The other problem is that amongst my working class family members, being an academic is regarded as lazy,effortless work with summers off (what a joke!). Holding down a full-time manufacturing job represents real work to them and I just seem to be lazy in their eyes!

Being first generation and minority, it's annoying to be around relatives who simply cannot fathom why a Ph.D. takes so long! I am only in my second year, but keeping getting asked "Are you done yet?" by family members. I then have to patiently explain that a Ph.D. takes a minimum of 4 years and involves a dissertation at which point I get a blank stare. The other problem is that amongst my working class family members, being an academic is regarded as lazy,effortless work with summers off (what a joke!). Holding down a full-time manufacturing job represents real work to them and I just seem to be lazy in their eyes!

Professors are busy and get asked to write dozens if not a hundred reference letters a year. You honestly expect them to spend hours devoting themselves to your particular letter? My suggestion would be to ask the professor if they would allow you to write the reference yourself or in future provide them with bulleted points that include what YOU want them to say. Plus, you cannot fault professors for writing what they feel are honest evaluations of your work. It would be an affront to their integrity to demand otherwise. Just wait a year until you get asked for reference letters from many students and you'll quickly change your attitude.

Professors are busy and get asked to write dozens if not a hundred reference letters a year. You honestly expect them to spend hours devoting themselves to your particular letter? My suggestion would be to ask the professor if they would allow you to write the reference yourself or in future provide them with bulleted points that include what YOU want them to say. Plus, you cannot fault professors for writing what they feel are honest evaluations of your work. It would be an affront to their integrity to demand otherwise. Just wait a year until you get asked for reference letters from many students and you'll quickly change your attitude.

johndiligent, I don't think it's evil if it's the professor's fault for sending a letter late so you're entirely correct. The professor should offer to pay the courier charge if they are at fault, but not if the student requests late. This student had looked up my telephone number and called me at home to beg for the letter to be couriered so I felt sympathy for her at the time. I'm sure as I gain more experience, I will get a lot meaner!

johndiligent, I don't think it's evil if it's the professor's fault for sending a letter late so you're entirely correct. The professor should offer to pay the courier charge if they are at fault, but not if the student requests late. This student had looked up my telephone number and called me at home to beg for the letter to be couriered so I felt sympathy for her at the time. I'm sure as I gain more experience, I will get a lot meaner!

Professors are busy and get asked to write dozens if not a hundred reference letters a year. You honestly expect them to spend hours devoting themselves to your particular letter? My suggestion would be to ask the professor if they would allow you to write the reference yourself or in future provide them with bulleted points that include what YOU want them to say. Plus, you cannot fault professors for writing what they feel are honest evaluations of your work. It would be an affront to their integrity to demand otherwise. Just wait a year until you get asked for reference letters from many students and you'll quickly change your attitude.

Professors are busy and get asked to write dozens if not a hundred reference letters a year. You honestly expect them to spend hours devoting themselves to your particular letter? My suggestion would be to ask the professor if they would allow you to write the reference yourself or in future provide them with bulleted points that include what YOU want them to say. Plus, you cannot fault professors for writing what they feel are honest evaluations of your work. It would be an affront to their integrity to demand otherwise. Just wait a year until you get asked for reference letters from many students and you'll quickly change your attitude.

Professors are busy and get asked to write dozens if not a hundred reference letters a year. You honestly expect them to spend hours devoting themselves to your particular letter? My suggestion would be to ask the professor if they would allow you to write the reference yourself or in future provide them with bulleted points that include what YOU want them to say. Plus, you cannot fault professors for writing what they feel are honest evaluations of your work. It would be an affront to their integrity to demand otherwise. Just wait a year until you get asked for reference letters from many students and you'll quickly change your attitude.

Professors are busy and get asked to write dozens if not a hundred reference letters a year. You honestly expect them to spend hours devoting themselves to your particular letter? My suggestion would be to ask the professor if they would allow you to write the reference yourself or in future provide them with bulleted points that include what YOU want them to say. Plus, you cannot fault professors for writing what they feel are honest evaluations of your work. It would be an affront to their integrity to demand otherwise. Just wait a year until you get asked for reference letters from many students and you'll quickly change your attitude.

I am a Ph.D. student who also works as a lecturer part-time so I have experienced both sides of the issue. Anyone else in this position? Having to write them and also request them too?

My pet peeves as a writer:

*Students who ask for several letters of recommendation and then neglect to say THANK YOU. I am disgusted by this rudeness.
As a part-time faculty and grad student I wasn't getting paid to write them so thanks would have been nice. Some generous students have given
me gift cards as thanks but I know I cannot expect this. One student wanted a last minute FEDEX that I had to pay $30 for since she decided on a whim to apply to a program with a deadline in two days. Never heard from her again.

*Students who e-mail in a panic needing a reference letter in less than three days. Do they seriously think I can drop everything and write a letter? Students need to realize these letters take hours away from my own work.

*Students who expect you to pay out of your own pocket for postage (my department DOES NOT pay for postage for part-time faculty or grad students) for sending letters. I have spent about $50 this past year on postage for students.

My pet peeves as a requester:

*Professors who forget deadlines and have to be hounded. I have lost out on fellowships this way.
*Professors who write weak letters of reference and have to be re-written, replaced or substituted.

All in all, the LOR process sucks for all concerned!

I am a Ph.D. student who also works as a lecturer part-time so I have experienced both sides of the issue. Anyone else in this position? Having to write them and also request them too?

My pet peeves as a writer:

*Students who ask for several letters of recommendation and then neglect to say THANK YOU. I am disgusted by this rudeness.
As a part-time faculty and grad student I wasn't getting paid to write them so thanks would have been nice. Some generous students have given
me gift cards as thanks but I know I cannot expect this. One student wanted a last minute FEDEX that I had to pay $30 for since she decided on a whim to apply to a program with a deadline in two days. Never heard from her again.

*Students who e-mail in a panic needing a reference letter in less than three days. Do they seriously think I can drop everything and write a letter? Students need to realize these letters take hours away from my own work.

*Students who expect you to pay out of your own pocket for postage (my department DOES NOT pay for postage for part-time faculty or grad students) for sending letters. I have spent about $50 this past year on postage for students.

My pet peeves as a requester:

*Professors who forget deadlines and have to be hounded. I have lost out on fellowships this way.
*Professors who write weak letters of reference and have to be re-written, replaced or substituted.

All in all, the LOR process sucks for all concerned!