WhaWhat

Thanks for sharing your experience. And good advice on being sure to take it slow! Fair enough.

I think your're incorrectly inferring that I think people should be using grad school as eharmony. There is a difference between that and being cognizant that gs may be the last environment where you are exposed to a larger group of like-mined people with which you can easily socialize. Some people are unprepared for the reality that after college and grad school it is harder to develop any new relationships, romantic or platonic. Realizing this is not the same as spending 40K a year with specific intent of getting your MRS.

I think perhaps you're being a bit myopic based on your own very limited experiences and slightly rude. If a person enters a program in a new city which requires he or she put in 60-70 hrs a week to excel, it's very possible the person will find it difficult to meet people outside the program or have the time to build a relationship with them. If you didn't have time to play rugby, what types of friends would that leave you with?

Reading these made me wonder about how women may view other women who (aggressively) date in grad school. If you thought someone was "treat[ing] grad school as a matchmaking service," would you be resentful (or maybe just a bit annoyed) because they may seem to be perpetuating a stereotype (i.e. that women are all just looking for husbands)?

I commend you for this ability, but I think many people judge and judge hard. both on character and capability.

Hyperbole, dear . I don't think failing to date in grad school would preclude me from having a relationship for the next 20 years either! Like, I was trying to make the point that either extreme may be troublesome. That being said, there are certain fields where you only see people in your program. So I don't know if dating outside your department is a realistic option for everyone . . . .

This is so very true! Undergrad def. has opportunities to socialize, but I think grad school is conducive to a stronger bond with more like-minded people. It's like the experience is demanding in such a way that you develop a survivor's bond with your peers. And even if there are mostly women in your program, I bet that widening your circle will lead to Mr. Right! I have noticed that there are a good number of professionals and academics that are married to others in their field. I wonder how many met in grad school . . . Lol. I am not usually friends with the ex's, either, so this is something to keep in mind. BUT Do you ever wonder if there was someone you ignored/rejected though who could have been a great potential partner?? This gives me hope. I'm glad you pointed out the need for some separation, too. I don't know anything about endogamy or exogamy w/o referencing wikipedia, but you have a point about issues and benefits. I guess a big concern for me, and perhaps others, is that as a grad student, you're at the beginning stages of a career. You don't have the years of reputation or goodwill to insulate you from any mishaps, in fact you are laying the seeds for it at GS. So a screaming match with the SO in study group (I've seen it happen ) may be detrimental to more than your relationship. In reality, most of us have better control that this, but love makes you do dumb, dumb things . . . even us smart people That being said, I'm have no desire to be single until I'm 45 just because I'm dedicated to my work and need to uphold a reputation!

I was curious about what others thought about dating in grad school, esp. other grad students. I've heard that grad school is the last opportunity to meet a large group of intellectual and ambitious people at once. Since educated people tend to marry other educated people and meeting people once you're part of the workforce is difficult, is grad school a great place to meet a SO? Or is dating other grad students a bad idea because of professional considerations? Should people just avoid dating grad students in their own program (ex. MPPs but not MPAs)? Does it matter by program level because of the potential for students to be your close colleagues? (terminal masters - may interact with some day vs. PhD very likely to see again) From previous graduate experiences, I've seen: 1. Cautionary tales: the serial dater who makes her way through 1/3 of the student body and gets a bad reputation; the couple that dramatically breaks up RIGHT before finals and bombs; the guy that cheats on his wife with a fellow grad and gets divorced; the guy who employs predatory-like dating techniques and is labeled the village douche 2. Abstainers: I've also seen people so focused on their work or determined to always remain 'professional' that they won't date at all during grad school or vow not to date ppl in their program because the potential for future complications (see cautionary tales). Some were respected for it and some were negatively viewed as over intense and incapable of seeking fulfillment outside their studies. 3. Happy endings: I have also seen some people meet through grad school and marry or start a strong LTR So is it off limits? Is it more about the way you go about it? Are the rules different for men and women? (whether fair or not) How would you view someone who did or did not date? (assuming they were single of course!) What are your thoughts??

So I've seen variations of this on forums, but was hoping that because it is late in the cycle people who had similiarly difficult decisions could share their wisdom or any regrets. I was accepted into Program 1 with almost full funding. Also accepted into Program 2 and recommended for TA position. However, I have to wait for TA position approval and I do not know the funding amount if it is approved. The deadline to accept the first offer will very, very likely come before I get more info on the second. (Request to extend acceptance deadline was denied ) The thing is, if I got the same funding from both, I'd choose Program 2. I want to handle this as professionally as possible. I am also aware how fortunate I am to be in this position and that others could possibly get whatever funding I turn down. For that reason, I am very reluctant to accept and the first offer and later rescind (someone could not accept admission bc of lack of funding in the meantime!). But on the other hand, I could end up with nothing What would you do it my situation? How would you handle it as professionally as possible? Has anyone heard of being recommended for a TA position but not being approved? Also, I have about 3 days to decide.

I actually know someone who took one of those routes: lower ranked LS, transfered into higher ranked LS, getting LLM in IL at Georgetown. He now has a breadth of great credentials and work experiences and secured a great job with the government. It was a great decision for what he wants to do. That being said, Oregangal is very right. Know what you want to do, and if you cannot be super specific (which is understandable), consider the path that opens more oppurtunities. Also, a heads up about lower ranked LSs: Some, not all, are more lenient with admission but then try to keep up their bar passage and job placement rates by mandating tight grading curves and thus 'failing out' students. I have no doubt you're capable of getting to the top of your class, but be sure to research exactly how to play and win the LS 'game' (hint: it's more than hard work). I've seen some very smart students work very hard but not do as well as they could have because they were unaware of what exactly was expected of them. And the AU program sounds great, but I would check because I have never seen a JD joint degree program that takes less than 4 years.