SymmetryOfImperfection

Thanks for the tips, I'll do just that for now. I guess there's just a gap between my expectations and my PI's expectations, since I "feel" like a senior due to my previous MS but I'm actually kind of new to the group, and haven't fully proven myself yet.

1. I am a 2nd year and already hold a MS where I did an independent project with minimal supervision from my professor that I am writing a paper for and has been presented at a conference. 2. I have done an independent project before. However, I am not totally familiar with the laboratory techniques of my current field (even though my previous field and my current field are both materials science/semiconductors, I am not a wet chemist and this lab involves some wet chemistry) so I am sometimes clumsy with the fabrication parts of my experiments. I am good at physical measurements and theory, and I don't have any problems with those. This experiment will primarily be based around measurements and theory; the fabrication is extremely simple and being "hard to make" was NOT the given reason for dismissing my ideas, especially since the postdoc already PROVED that these ideas at least work on some level. 3. I do not know. The postdoc seems to be clear to do anything he deems relevant to our final goals. The other senior graduate student in my lab does minimal changes without the PI's supervision but mostly works with the postdoc anyhow. Then there's me.

I am not sure how I should feel about my ideas being dismissed without consideration or feeling like I cannot come up with my own ideas about how to solve the problems given to me. I feel like that I am very limited in the things I'm allowed to pursue to solve my project's problems. It's as if not only the goals are set for me (which is expected) and that I have to obey the limitations of budget, lab theme and time, but even within these constraints, I have to do exactly what the professor is asking even if it is questionable. Situation: The idea was generated from a postdoc in my lab who came up with it independently and ran preliminary experiments to demonstrate that it worked, but had no idea why it worked. We have all the materials needed, all materials are extremely inexpensive and plentiful, and the analysis uses routine instrumentation in our lab that's almost always open for use. This, I assumed, was why the postdoc worked on this. I noticed these promising results and designed a set of experiments that would elucidate the physical principle behind these ideas. I carefully read my project guidelines that my professor had set for me and noticed that these experiments 1. if successful, would fit the end goal of the project 2. do not divert significant time and attention away from current experiments and require no additional budget 3. do not entail any additional safety hazards (all chemicals used are routine) 4. fit the theme and goals of our laboratory 5. is a promising approach but with many open questions left in recent literature and would likely lead to publications. From this, I expected that my professor would approve of me taking the initiative to do a literature search, find relationship to unsolved problems in our group's research, take the existing results of our group and expand on them, design a set of low cost experiments and getting out results in a relatively "hot" area that fits within our project constraints. Unfortunately the professor dismissed my ideas without consideration. He said something about a complication, did not elaborate, and before I could refute, gave me another assignment that I knew the answer to from the literature. Then he left. I don't understand why this happened. Now I am wondering: am I allowed to come up with my own ideas at all? I fully understand that within a PHD, the end goals, materials and methods of my project must fit with that of my group. I accepted that coming in. However, when I am given a problem, I expect to come up with my own potentially publishable ideas about how to solve the problem within the constraints given. Was I wrong? Is it that being a PHD is just using your professor's ideas and running experiments for him? What should I do?

My lab: teaching for all only. lol. I have a massive teaching workload (12 hours per week are spent in the classroom alone) and have to work on research, writing and oral exams. Apparently this is the norm around here since the department recently lost some huge funding in the physical chemistry program because alot of professors worked on a similar topic that then got axed by the DOE.

First time working a full day on the weekends.

I feel terrible. My MS experience seems to not help at all. I used to be able to fabricate samples and run experiments quite confidently, if a bit slowly. In my PHD, it seems like nothing goes the way it is supposed to. When I entered the lab, it seemed like I was just tossed into the lab with no preparation in how things actually run - I don't know how to buy chemicals, my PI isn't here, the postdoc thinks I suck at everything. Supplies are frequently short. I didn't do wet chemistry in the past, and yet now all my samples need to be solution processable. My previous experiments in this group all felt like they were pulled off only with extraordinary luck. I have very little input into the project either. I don't know what to do.

fluid mechanics is a prerequisite for most environmental engineering programs, as that's where alot of environmental (water based) chemistry programs are located. Atmospheric environmental chemistry programs can be in either chemistry or environmental engineering.

it is possible. however you need to prove that you're up for it with strong grades in coursework. Chemistry programs are not as rigid as some others out there; physics, chemical engineering and math are incredibly rigid in their undergrad major requirements. Environmental engineering usually isn't so rigid either, since it is pretty interdisciplinary. Note that in the US there's licensing requirements for environmental engineers which involve a P.E. license. For environmental chemistry I strongly suggest a fluid mechanics course and an actual environmental/water chemistry course since alot of the research in environmental chemistry involves pollutant transport in fluids (air and water).

thanks guys. I know where I'm going wrong from their point of view. Problem is, fixing what is wrong on my end requires incredible amounts of effort that I struggle to come up with because I have a shit ton of demands on my time (such as passing the candidacy exam, actually doing research, finishing up some electives for credit requirements, etc). I am under scrutiny so now I cannot make even a single mistake. I didn't plan to stay in academia, but I'm doubting my ability to even finish this PHD now. It would be great if I could get an RA, but if I have to TA, I'm scared that it's only a matter of time before I mess up.

I'm at a crossroads. Currently I'm having trouble with TAing. While this has not been a concern in the past, in recent months there has been stricter scrutiny of all TAs. I try my best to do what is right for the students and help them learn, but this has been interpreted as being too easy and not paying attention to the students enough. I don't know if I'm suited for the PHD anymore.

I have been called into the TA manager's office 3 times in the past 3 months alone. I never had an issue my first year now it seems like the issues don't stop. If it isn't them saying I grade too easy (even though I strictly follow the rubric) it is that I'm not caught up with my grading. Now I am grading very critically and am completely caught up, they tell me to come in for yet another meeting. I am dreading what it could be. I just dunno what to do about this.

what I mean by very strict interpretation of the rubric is, for instance, subjective things like organization, neatness, etc. this is an intro level class based on the guided inquiry approach, so I'm supposed to lead students to the answer on their own too, not give direct answers, and we are supposed to grade for argument, not correct answers(though trends have to be right ) so sometimes they'll try to justify something, but I know it's wrong, so I err on the side of caution and don't take off more points than necessary. the projects whose rubric I had insight into had averages closer to the whole class average as well as the ones with the old 50pt rubric but the ones with the new 100 pt rubric were too high. thanks for the tips.

How tiring teaching is. Never felt this bad during my MS... but holy shit the teaching...

There have been no explicit instructions on what to pay attention for other than "reduce your average". This doesn't tell me where I'm being too lenient at all.

The TA manager at my school says I'm grading too easily. When I go by the rubrics, what I see is that the students are following the directions and not deviating from the rubric. Other TAs are nitpicking things that aren't appearing on the rubric or are very very strict interpretations of the rubric, almost to an extreme. Is this what I'm supposed to be doing? On one hand, I want the best for my students. On the other hand, I want to at least not be hated by the office. It is hard for me to be too harsh, because I know what ppl go through to learn this stuff.

same. I went from a top 20 to a top 40. I don't care though. There's ALOT of ppl in my department who have done that. You aren't obligated to explain anything to anybody. Who the fk are they?

+1. You can get into MUCH better privates with the same score, than you would in public schools. I'm talking like, you can jump from a top 40's public, to a top 20's private. That's how big the difference is. There are some publics that aren't so bad (UIUC, Minnesota) and then there's some that are pretty much impossible (all the UCs).

think I'm going nuts. Teaching + Research is just a total pain.

sup, I'm in chemical physics. Its a great field and very cool. My previous degree was in physics. MD is money doctor - you gotta have money to be a doctor. PHD is poor hungry doctor - you can be this doctor even if you are poor and hungry. Don't worry about gender but do note that alot of guys and girls in physical chemistry are not exactly the most social people out there. It is not that much easier though.

you really don't know what you want to do until you really start doing it. if you haven't actually done cosmology/gravitational lensing vs. direct detection, you can't really say which you like better. Personal experience.

Yeah maybe its because of being new since new students usually don't get to do alot of out of field things. However I think its kind of unreasonable to think that you have to be able to know *anything* from chemistry. I mean, a guy in materials or biophysics is not going to be able to understand a total synthesis paper and the opposite is true too, but thats OK since their jobs are different. Or maybe its because I learn slowly and can't handle too much information lol. Gotta break it down into nice compartments.

From BS to MS, not much surprised me. From MS to PHD, huge changes. It is really hard to get to know ppl in the department, especially in a big interdisciplinary program where you really aren't anchored to any one department.

I disagree. I'm in chemical physics, and we don't even speak the same language as organic chemists do. Hell, even biophysics and biochemistry (listed separately in our chemistry department's research!) don't speak the same language and their papers read nothing alike. I'd say that its best to pick the general direction early because you want to gear yourself towards study in each subfield - learning how to run TLCs is useless in physical chemistry but essential in organic while learning computer modeling with MatLAB is useless in organic chemistry but almost a requirement in physical chemistry.

yep, thanks for the advice.

I am a 1st year grad student who quit my old advisor's group back in January. I feel way better, much less stressed and actually look forward to doing research now. I'm currently doing an independent study in fundamental semiconductor physics. Most of my fabrication experiments have been failures but I'm getting along with the group and feel pretty comfortable. However, this professor already said that he can't fund me over the summer, and whether he can actually take me as a student is an unknown, since the department requires students to be funded by PIs whenever they are not on TA. He told me to talk to other professors to keep my options open in case that he can't. Right now I've talked to two other professors. One is a professor in semiconductors and said that he has the money but doesn't want to take any new students this year - come talk to him again in July. The other professor in biophysics said "maybe I can take another student" but the project I'm most interested in is a collaboration with another professor; he suggested for me to also talk to that professor. After actually doing research in semiconductors, I'm starting to doubt whether I can succeed in this field. My independent study ends in May, and I have to find a permanent group by then. Hard choices.