Hi I found out today I have been accepted into Phd programme, and considering this has been my dream for a while and i used to get so excited dreaming of getting in, all i feel now is doubt and worry.
I will be teaching ( 3 hours per week, its a new uni so i dont have experience of the courses) , i will have classes and will have to somehow find time to do research.
Im already feeling like I have imposter syndrome, eventhough i got a 1.1 in both my undergrad and postgrad diploma, and came up the idea for my research myself, Im feeling already that I am not smart enough, not organized enough, and am afraid i will bomb completely.
last year sometimes i worked really well, other times i procrastinated and dossed, had no routine, often only studied for 5 hours in the day, missed class ect. I know where i was going wrong and have thought alot about how i will be better and more disciplined but i fear i wont do it, or even if i do it wont be enough and wont get everything done
one thing that is scaring me, is that while I usually get A s in both exams and course work, sometimes if something is really hard or totally new to me, i have take it really slowly or i get confused. for example statistics was totally new to me this year, everyone else in my course had instruction from undergrad in basic stats and we were doing advanced research methods. i was totally baffled by it all for a good while and it worries me now when i think of the amount of time i spent on really simple things.
on top of all that im worried because i know noone in this new uni or city, and im worried about making freinds and having some sort of social life,
on top of that as i only have partial funding for this year, im stressed about money, im also stressed because i have to apply for research grant this year and wont be able to continue if i dont get it.
so im worried about everything now, any advice, how do you cope with the pressure?
thanks,
Emily
sorry this sooooooo long