Asking to fly when driving is technically possible?

[Bayesian1701]

I have been accepted to program that is 6-8 hours away from my current location. I do have a car and that is easily a one day drive.  However driving to the visit would cause me to miss even more classes and on a plane I could get stuff done.   I am already confirmed to visit 3 places and it’s not my top choice.  They are however a top program and I am interested in them.  When I sent the initial visit request I didn’t not ask about them buying a plane ticket (which is something I probably should have done).  Right now they have me down for March 1.   I want to ask if I they will buy (or reimburse at least partially) a flight for me for March 1-3 (~$310). They offered to get me an hotel since I can’t make the trip in one day. I am flying out to go somewhere else on the 4th and going somewhere next weekend so it would be a lot of travelling in a short amount of time.   They nominated me for a university fellowship so I think they are very interested in me.  I am going home to parents a couple of times (5 hours from me, 3 hours from the program) before April 15th.  So if  they aren’t going to pay for a flight I will try to squeeze it in then as a side trip.  I guess I should have asked about flying earlier but what do I do now?  How do I ask for support for a flight without sounding demanding?   I have written a sample email below.  Funded visits are common in my field for domestic students at most top programs, but I don’t know what is typical for them.

 

Dear XXX,

Is it possible for you to pay or at least partially reimburse me for a flight?  I found one from March 1-3 for $310 through (details).  It would have me land in the morning of the 1st and leave on the morning of the 3rd.  This would be a better option for me because it would avoid missing classes and work on February 28th.  If funding for a plane ticket is not available, I will be in (hometown that they will recognize as much closer than college town) during these dates and I can visit on those days to save travel time. 

Best regards,

Bayesian

[TakeruK]

That sounds fine. Hope you get the reimbursement, or failing that, at least what they would have paid for you to drive.

By the way, would they have paid for your mileage if you drove? I can't see how a 6-8 hour drive is considered more economical than a flight.

[Bayesian1701]

 

I don't know if they would pay for mileage if they did it would probably be about the same as a flight anyway (it's over 400 miles one way).  This has been now complicated by a huge increase in price for plane tickets on that and all other days in March.   So now instead of a $310 flight it's $527+ (and almost full) and I have a meeting scheduled apparently for that day.   I am having second thoughts about the visit since I have other offers and they aren't my top choice.  I might like it but if I am going to have to drive myself or spend my money on the plane ticket I don't think it's worth it.  The communication hasn't been great and hadn't since I gave them a list over two weeks ago, and I heard back only after I emailed them.  Between then and now I have booked two visits before and after the date (I originally thought 3 visits in a row would be fine but now I am not so sure).  I emailed them back and forth today but I am thinking of canceling the visit on Monday if I am still having second thoughts.  It's just not working out,  maybe it's a sign or something.  I think I should back out now and before they finalize my travel arrangements and schedule.  

 

[rising_star]

Is there any chance whatsoever that you'd go there rather than to the other programs? If so, then I'd try to do a visit later in March or even in early April.

[TakeruK]

12 hours ago, rising_star said:

Is there any chance whatsoever that you'd go there rather than to the other programs? If so, then I'd try to do a visit later in March or even in early April.

Seconding this! Otherwise, if there really is no chance you'd attend, then declining to visit is fine too.

[Bayesian1701]

If I schedule an alternate weekend for another program during my spring break (and the spring break of this school that I am having issues scheduling) I could fit them in then.   That particular program hasn't finalized a weekend and they seem to really want me so I don't think they would mind a separate visit.  I also want to hold a weekend for the school I am waitlisted at for at least now (there is a relatively high probability I get off it in the next few weeks).   I may have to skip it for time constraints due to 3 others visits and other commitments leaving me down to 3 days left I could visit.  Right now I could still go there but in a few weeks if the right things happen I could easily change my mind, and they are last on my list.  I think I am going to see about putting a visit on hold if the flight falls through.   I don't want to schedule a visit in late March and then cancel because I already decided. If the flight falls through I would be much closer to the program on all my other available dates due to the fact I am visiting family nearby.   Here is what I am thinking about saying if the flight falls  through:

I have thought about it some more and I think what I want to do is postpone scheduling a visit.   I will be willing to drive down if I choose to visit later on.   I have received other offers and I want to see how my other visits go.  At this time I do not want to withdraw my application but I want more time to think about what I want to do.  I am still interested in your program but I don't want to schedule a visit for over a month away knowing it is possible that in a few weeks I will end up canceling because I have decided to attend elsewhere.  

  

Edited February 17, 2018 by Bayesian1701

[TakeruK]

Okay in that case, here is what I would try, in order:

1. Ask for the flight for the original visit date. Let them know the current cost estimate. It's only $200 more and a drop in the bucket compared to all the other costs they have. Reschedule whatever other meeting you might have. Sorry if I am wrong but you still have not yet asked for a flight at all right? They might not even know you want a flight. Don't mention the flight increase or anything, just say that: I won't be able to drive X hours that weekend, could I take a flight (cost estimate XYZ) instead? The best course of action is to almost always start out by asking for your preferred option first. If you want something, ask for it.

2. If that doesn't work then you have to decide now if you want to commit to a visit later. If you do, then plan a visit in late March and commit to it, because you don't know what will happen in the next few weeks. If you do decide to attend somewhere else and already accepted that offer, then cancel your visit. It's not the best thing to do but it's better than going on a visit when there is zero chance you'll attend. It's part of the costs the school has to accept.

If you are really unlikely to accept this offer, then you can instead just say that you can't visit at this time and would like to talk again in a few weeks to set up a potential visit for late March/early April. Then leave it at that. They might say okay, hope to hear from you soon, or "sorry, we won't be able to accommodate that" but either way, you're not worse off than you are now.

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Finally, for the waitlisted program---you may not be able to visit if you get off the waitlist. You won't know when you'll get off for sure and it might be too short notice to set up a visit. However, it does sound like you're much more interested in the waitlisted program than this current (safety?) school. So, I wouldn't worry about holding a weekend for the waitlist program if you are setting up a visit for this safety school in late March. If you do get off the waitlist, just cancel the safety school visit if you need to.
 

[E-P]

I would say that they don't know you have a car, and that driving is possible.  Therefore, expecting them to pay for all of your travel expenses is normal and acceptable.  I would just assume they would, and then act shocked if they say otherwise.  You might have to be flexible with how you get there (e.g., train or plane), depending on where you're going and where you're coming from if there's a more convenient train station than airport.  But yes, it's okay to expect them to pay for all of it.