GRE Writing Example

[Tamim Ahmed]

Hello everyone, I am planning to appear GRE exam very soon. But I am very concerned about my writing. Last time I attended GRE, I got 3 on the writing. I am trying to improve my writing. It would be very helpful for me if someone please review my writing and provide necessary corrections and tips I need. It would be a great help.

 

Issue:
It is always an individual who is the impetus for innovation; the details may be worked out by a team, but true innovation results from the enterprise and unique perception of an individual.

Response:
An individual who has an enterprise has his own interest in the growth of the enterprise. But true success never comes from an individual; in fact, it comes from united efforts from many members of an enterprise. Moreover, companies successes always depend on new innovations, which helps them to keep positions in the market and compete with others. Obviously, people use companies products by being attracted to the uniqueness of the products. For example, every human wants to have the best cars available according to their budget. In addition, in case of medical treatment, most people always want to consume the best for their health. Undoubtedly, the successes of the companies were quite inconceivable if only a single person is responsible for all the works.

The prompt attempts to connect innovation with a unique perception of a single person. Generally, one could argue that innovation results from only the perception of an individual and not with the help of others. Looking back at the introduction, the addition of new features in a modern car and the recent development of medical treatments all are the results of a combined effort of many members behind the development. Indeed, all the innovations of most companies are the result of many years of research, and many sleepless nights and hard works of the members.

For example, Apple is one of the tech giants in the Silicon Valley. Steve Jobs, the founder of the Apple, didn't alone responsible for the massive success of the company in the world. Nowadays Apple is one of the dominant software companies in the world. Admittedly, the leading position becomes possible by the contribution of millions of programmers, engineers, and marketing specialists of Apple. Similarly, Bill Gates alone didn't contribute to the growth of Microsoft. In fact, Microsoft gained its market position by the combined efforts of all the workers around the world. Despite an idea might come from an individual, but to implement the idea many persons contributions are important for the successes.

Furthermore, smallpox was once an epidemic disease around the world. Many people around the world, died because of smallpox. However, after many years of research, scientists created a vaccine which is able to cure the patients attacked with the disease. Nowadays, medical science is able to give eyesight the blind, robot arms and legs to the crippled. Now, since medical science is progressing rapidly, scientists are now revealing some theories even about brain transplant also.

However, the last example is not the contribution of an individual. Indeed, many scientists, who are researching on the brain transplant, are giving enough time to their research every day to discover something new. Therefore, an innovation is the contribution of many creative minds participations and their contributions. Today, Nobel Prize, the most prestigious prize in the world, is given in most cases to the three to four members of a team and not an individual.

Finally, innovation is very important for the improvement of an enterprise; in fact, for the development of the world. Nonetheless, an individual is not alone responsible for the success of the enterprise. Though an idea can come from an individual, to implement the idea every member of a team's participation is necessary.