One acceptance -- how does this change things?

[automatic]

Hi everyone! I've received one acceptance to Columbia with straightforward rejections from everywhere else. Even if it weren't the only acceptance I'd received, it happily happens to be my top choice/dream program, so with those factors combined there's zero question I'll be turning this down (unless I learn like, a DARK DARK secret about the department or something). 

I'm not complaining! But I am wondering how this changes the interactions and processes between me and the department before I officially accept.  What's the point in asking questions about the department, placement, etc., when I know I'm going there? What do I do if a professor or student asks me if I'm choosing between Columbia and anywhere else? Do I answer honestly, evade, or lie a tiny bit (idk, I could say I'm waitlisted...?)? I'm afraid if for some reason I'm forced to say I was rejected everywhere else they'll be less excited to have me as a student, and less open/welcoming/etc. during this courting process. Saying I was rejected everywhere else seems different, obviously, and kind of more private, from just saying I'm planning on accepting their offer. If I say the latter, will that diminish their courting motions? Maybe I'm just too hung up on them finally courting me after months of me desperate for them..!

And finally, I suppose all of this crystallizes most importantly about the funding package. A friend with multiple offers was able to leverage other acceptances to increase her package, due to arguments she politely made about cost of living and so on. I'm certainly concerned about the cost of living in New York! But how can I ask for possibly more money when I have no other offer? Also, she did that, but is this actually a thing other people do -- negotiate their funding packages?

Thank you so much for your help!

[E-P]

So, I come at this from the job market, but I say that the more information you have that they don't have, the more the power balance there is.  Otherwise, they have all the power.  If they KNOW you're coming, why bother giving you any stipend at all?  Why bother trying to impress you?

I wouldn't bring it up.  If they explicitly ask, I would just say that you're looking at several institutions (or that you've applied to several institutions).

Yes, funding packages get negotiated.  Check around on the forum - there have been several discussions of it - how to do it, when to do it, whether or not it's wroth doing it.

[punctilious]

17 minutes ago, E-P said:

Yes, funding packages get negotiated.  Check around on the forum - there have been several discussions of it - how to do it, when to do it, whether or not it's wroth doing it.

I wonder, though, whether a school like Columbia or Harvard would be okay with negotiating funding packages. I'm pretty sure that Harvard says that everyone gets an equal funding package. So I'm not sure if it's kosher to try to barter with the Ivies?

Edit: Just wanted to clarify that we don't plan on trying to barter with Harvard since the stipend is much higher than our other offer anyway.

Edited February 26, 2018 by punctilious

[urbanfarmer]

I'd still ask lots of questions! Even if the answers aren't going to change anything in your actions, the more information you have the better. Ask questions about resources, atmosphere, mentorship, placement... better to know now than to be trying to figure it out later. Even if the answers aren't great, at least you'll then know what to expect/adjust to going in. 

As for stipend, I would straightforwardly ask if all students get the same stipend. If the answer isn't an unequivocal "yes," send an email saying something along the lines of "Columbia is my top choice, and I'm thrilled about the program etc etc... but I am concerned about the cost of living in NYC. Is there any chance of the stipend offer being raised? If so, I'm ready to commit immediately!" They certainly understand that money is an issue for grad students, and the worst thing you could get is them saying "Sorry, there is no more money available." 

[automatic]

1 hour ago, urbanfarmer said:

I'd still ask lots of questions! Even if the answers aren't going to change anything in your actions, the more information you have the better. Ask questions about resources, atmosphere, mentorship, placement... better to know now than to be trying to figure it out later. Even if the answers aren't great, at least you'll then know what to expect/adjust to going in. 

As for stipend, I would straightforwardly ask if all students get the same stipend. If the answer isn't an unequivocal "yes," send an email saying something along the lines of "Columbia is my top choice, and I'm thrilled about the program etc etc... but I am concerned about the cost of living in NYC. Is there any chance of the stipend offer being raised? If so, I'm ready to commit immediately!" They certainly understand that money is an issue for grad students, and the worst thing you could get is them saying "Sorry, there is no more money available." 

Thank you so much! That is great advice. I think I certainly will ask nicely and politely -- the worst they can say is no, and they must get asked all the time.

[automatic]

2 hours ago, punctilious said:

I wonder, though, whether a school like Columbia or Harvard would be okay with negotiating funding packages. I'm pretty sure that Harvard says that everyone gets an equal funding package. So I'm not sure if it's kosher to try to barter with the Ivies?

Edit: Just wanted to clarify that we don't plan on trying to barter with Harvard since the stipend is much higher than our other offer anyway.

I'm not sure either! I know my friend at Stanford bartered successfully with them, but perhaps it's different there. I didn't see on my letter that everyone gets funded equally, but I'll try to look into that a bit more before asking!

[agunns]

3 hours ago, automatic said:

Hi everyone! I've received one acceptance to Columbia with straightforward rejections from everywhere else. Even if it weren't the only acceptance I'd received, it happily happens to be my top choice/dream program, so with those factors combined there's zero question I'll be turning this down (unless I learn like, a DARK DARK secret about the department or something). 

I'm not complaining! But I am wondering how this changes the interactions and processes between me and the department before I officially accept.  What's the point in asking questions about the department, placement, etc., when I know I'm going there? What do I do if a professor or student asks me if I'm choosing between Columbia and anywhere else? Do I answer honestly, evade, or lie a tiny bit (idk, I could say I'm waitlisted...?)? I'm afraid if for some reason I'm forced to say I was rejected everywhere else they'll be less excited to have me as a student, and less open/welcoming/etc. during this courting process. Saying I was rejected everywhere else seems different, obviously, and kind of more private, from just saying I'm planning on accepting their offer. If I say the latter, will that diminish their courting motions? Maybe I'm just too hung up on them finally courting me after months of me desperate for them..!

And finally, I suppose all of this crystallizes most importantly about the funding package. A friend with multiple offers was able to leverage other acceptances to increase her package, due to arguments she politely made about cost of living and so on. I'm certainly concerned about the cost of living in New York! But how can I ask for possibly more money when I have no other offer? Also, she did that, but is this actually a thing other people do -- negotiate their funding packages?

Thank you so much for your help!

I'm really glad that you started a discussion about this! I don't necessarily have anything constructive to add, but I'm mostly in the same boat as you are; I have one acceptance, and I've been rejected from everywhere else (including two implied rejections since I haven't heard anything either way). The stipend that I've been offered is enough to live on in Bloomington, but it'll be just enough - in other words, I also have some concerns about living expenses, even though Bloomington has a much lower cost of living than New York! I've been debating on whether or not I should try to ask for more funding, because I also don't feel like I have much leverage.

[renea]

The best advice I've been given about negotiation is that you don't have to use a school as leverage, but you should provide explicit reasons as to why you need what you need. Now a school can give you leverage (it never hurts to show you have offers elsewhere), but you can successfully negotiate without those other offers. 

 

You might say, for @agunns situation:

"I'm very excited about the offer, however I have done some research on Bloomington and the cost of living. While I'm aware that the cost of living, I'm concerned that on this stipend I might have to seek other work to live comfortably. A stipend of (idk $1k more per semester) would cover the books, fees, and other expenses that will help me graduate in a timely manner."

None of that required a name drop. 

Another example:

"I'm currently looking to expand my work on xyz, but it requires (insert thing you need: a new laptop, adobe suite, extra travel funds for research), with the current stipend I do not believe I'll have room in my budget to cover these items necessary for my research. Is their room to add this to my package?"

You can see where I'm going. 

 

You certainly shouldn't advertise to schools that you'll accept no matter what, but do be prepared to accept immediately if they give you the things you ask for. Only ask for the things you truly need. And this goes the same for people with multiple offers. Don't waste people's time if you don't plan on attending. Don't try to create bidding wars among schools, and certainly never lie about your packages (not saying anyone here is claiming to do it, I just think its appropriate to mention). 

Additionally, for you @automatic, I would ask all the questions you want. Give negotiations a shot too. The worst they can do is say no. If someone asks you what else you're considering simply say you are weighing your options and still making your decision. I doubt someone will press for more. Have fun learning more about your program, and take advantage of the attention and experience. 

[maengret]

@automatic congratulations! Chiming in to say that you can use the questions to ask about potential mentors, people who work in your area of interest, asking other grad students what they wish someone had told them. Basically, things that will help you be better prepared once you accept.

[LibraryLivingJT]

I also only have one acceptance thus far, and I plan on keeping it on the DL about my rejections. I am, however, still waiting to hear back from programs, but that might change by the time the student recruitment weekend for Delaware happens. So, even if by that point I have all rejections besides Delaware, I plan on saying that I am strongly considering Delaware, and leaving it at that.

I have a list of 16 questions so far that I will be asking, so I say it's good to ask important questions that others have already brought up in this thread.

Also, huge congrats!

Edited February 26, 2018 by LibraryLivingJT

[maengret]

@automatic I’m going to add to my earlier comment now that I actually negotiated something

I didn’t ask for everything that would have been nice to have. But I did ask for the one thing that I thought would help me most and that was the TA load. They agreed.

I thought to ask that because I read in the grad student manuals that while the stipend itself is the same for everyone, some students receive fellowships that allow them to TA fewer classes for a semester or so. 

Edited March 8, 2018 by maengret

[automatic]

Thanks everyone! About to email the DGS with my attempt at negotiating. Do I need to ask to meet, talk, etc., or can I just say this in an email directly right off the bat? We haven't communicated much yet and I feel a bit rude/awkward just being like HELLO and also more money??? 

[maengret]

2 hours ago, automatic said:

Thanks everyone! About to email the DGS with my attempt at negotiating. Do I need to ask to meet, talk, etc., or can I just say this in an email directly right off the bat? We haven't communicated much yet and I feel a bit rude/awkward just being like HELLO and also more money??? 

Sorry, just seeing the reply now. I'd recommend a phone call.

[defmaybe]

On 2/25/2018 at 7:08 PM, punctilious said:

I wonder, though, whether a school like Columbia or Harvard would be okay with negotiating funding packages. I'm pretty sure that Harvard says that everyone gets an equal funding package. So I'm not sure if it's kosher to try to barter with the Ivies?

Edit: Just wanted to clarify that we don't plan on trying to barter with Harvard since the stipend is much higher than our other offer anyway.

Columbia, to my understanding, is similar to its peers in this sense. Funding packages are pre-packaged (as in predetermined across its accepted student population), and knowing the figure (have multiple friends in that program/living in the city myself) it is difficult to cut it in NYC on that stipend. There are opportunities for on-campus employment for grad students, though, and you'll make it work if its what you want. it's partly a matter of accepting that our stipends, no matter how prestigious the program, are not what they can/should be!

If you do contact them, though, I'd do it by phone or in person, and lead with confidence!  

Edited March 8, 2018 by defmaybe