How to negotiate the "have you received other offers" question...

[lompoc727]

I'm going to start visiting schools this week, and I was wondering if any of you had any tips regarding how to handle it when a professor or current grad student asks if you've received other offers. So far, I've been asked this by both a prospective adviser and a grad student (who is sorta in my field), and I've answered, "Yes, but I'm not sure about the etiquette concerning naming names, but I'm definitely seriously considering XXXX's program and am excited about visiting."

However, the "excited about visiting" part may not make much sense when I'm actually, you know, on campus. I mostly feel weird about naming names since I don't want to encourage "other department bashing" or whatever. I'd also prefer to keep the focus upon the department on hand.

Any thoughts? Do you not tell professors but fess up to other grad students in order to get some grapevine info?

Increasingly nervous about EVERYTHING....

[fuzzylogician]

You are of course entirely within your rights to say you would rather not say, and no one will be offended. Mostly professors ask because they are curious to know where else the prospective students applied (which implies the student thinks those other department is on par with the one they are visiting) and what decisions those other departments have made. Students simply ask out of curiosity, and sometimes they can offer valuable inside information (or plain gossip) that you may want to know. I understand your feeling weird about name dropping and the possible ensuing "other department bashing", but I'd suggest you look at it from another perspective and use it as a kind of test. The best way to convince prospective students to attend a department is to show them how well they fit - tell them about all the positive things that are going on and why they are awesome. Professors who engage in negative-talk about other schools instead of concentrating on the positives at their school are actually telling you something very important - maybe they are insecure or feel that the other school is strong competition, maybe they don't have good things to say. Either way, that is a negative environment which you might not want to be in.

I never hid where I was accepted when someone asked. Honestly, at most schools I only heard good things about the other departments that accepted me. You can hear very interesting opinions from outside people (which you weigh accordingly, obviously), which you maybe can't see from the inside while you visit. In small fields everybody knows everybody so those opinions are usually well founded. The only place where people engaged in bashing was immediately crossed off my list. Don't need that for 5 years.

[conan33]

I think you should tell them, if asked, where else you have been accepted. It means that you are a strong candidate and they will try to get you showing all the pros of going to their school.

You will receive a lot of attention, and I believe this is very good!!!

[qazwerty]

I doubt you'd experience any sort of unprofessionalism such as department-bashing. I answered honestly about good offers I was considering to a professor and he said, "Oh, that's a great program, you should seriously consider it." I was actually afraid that meant he didn't really want me at his school OR that he would suggest to the powers-that-be at his own school that I should get a lesser offer because I already had a good offer elsewhere and might not join the department or something, but I got a great offer from his school as well.

Edited March 2, 2010 by qazwerty

[iWILLgetin]

I got this from every person I interviewed with. I told them about the other two offers, but that I think their school is far better (it was). They didn't seem to be asking for malicious reasons though. Just curious.

[johndiligent]

I think you should absolutely be honest. I don't think they're trying to thwart you, they're just curious. If anything, you might get a better offer from the school, since they'll want to match or better the offers you already have.

[Genomic Repairman]

Be honest. From my experience (grad student on AdComm) we want to know if you have competing offers so that if we want to take you in we don't dilly dally and screw around. Your honesty may just increase the chances of getting a quicker offer from us than someone with no admits. So fess up!

[chimerical]

Faculty and students at other schools can sometimes offer really good insights into the programs you're considering. Obviously you should keep potential biases in mind, but most people seem to genuinely want you to end up at the program that is best for you and will be candid in discussing how their department stacks up against others. Students can also share their impressions, especially if they have friends at other schools or were considering some of the same places when they were making their decisions. Recently-hired junior faculty seem to have a double-inside track of sorts and can offer really good advice about both the program at which they're teaching and the one from which they just graduated.

So my advice is, yes, tell them where else you've been accepted! Though some schools might fear being a safety most will simply be curious or perhaps even see you in a better light.

[Grad Hopeful]

At my interview I was completely honest about my acceptance, of course adding that I preferred the school (I did prefer it as it was my top choice). This did not harm me at all as I did get an acceptance, my current adviser said that this may have helped me in receiving my offer more quickly. I was on the receiving end of some jokes since the two schools are huge rivals though.

[NeuroNerd86]

I was honest as well, because from what I could see, "where else are you interviewing" type of questions were driven by mere curiosity and not by any kind of "evil" intent.

[eastcoastdude123]

You've gotta keep in mind that the people doing the interviews were once in the same position as you, and as such, expect you to have applied to other schools. Now, with that being said, there is no way I'd go into an interview and start talking about other schools I've applied to/ received offers from without the interviewer approaching the subject first.

Edited March 3, 2010 by eastcoastdude123