Quitting and Rec Letters

[majorchange]

After much consideration, I have made the decision to quit my funded Ph.D. program to pursue another field after 1 year in the program. I am certain now that this field is no longer for me, and I plan to pursue an M.S. in a very different field (I do not plan to go beyond the M.S.). My problem is that the M.S. program I plan to apply to requires three letters of recommendation. I have done well in my program and my annual review was very positive, but I suspect that my professors/supervisors/adviser may not be willing to write strong letters of recommendation for me given that I am quitting this program. Further, my former letter-writers might also be hesitant to write me letters given that they recommended me to this Ph.D. program and I am now leaving it. That said, I have spoken with a former student of the same program who quit after his first year and he said the faculty were very nice and understanding. So my question is: would it be unreasonable or disrespectful to ask if they would be willing to write me strong letters a little bit down the line after I leave this program? I certainly do not feel I am entitled to letters from them, and I understand why they might balk at such a request. Then again, it would help me immensely in breaking into another field down the line and I figure I might as well ask. If it is appropriate to ask, how would I even bring up such a request if they don't bring it up first? Has anyone else faced a similar dilemma?

Edited June 26, 2018 by majorchange
added more info.

[AP]

Have you had conversations about moving on to a different field with your advisor? If you have, then the question to write LoRs won't be so out of the blue. If you haven't, then you need to have the conversation in order to taste the waters and see how much they support you.

[majorchange]

10 minutes ago, AP said:

Have you had conversations about moving on to a different field with your advisor? If you have, then the question to write LoRs won't be so out of the blue. If you haven't, then you need to have the conversation in order to taste the waters and see how much they support you.

Not yet. I plan on doing it some time in the next week. If my experience is similar to that of the previous student I talked to then I will meet with my adviser and the program director after that to discuss plans to phase me out of the program. There will probably be a time period of somewhere from a few weeks to a few months after those meetings where I'm finishing things up before I'm officially done (can't stop immediately in this field for personal ethical reasons). At what point in this process do you think it would be best to bring it up?

Edited June 26, 2018 by majorchange

[AP]

Typically, people leave their programs at the end of an academic year. Are you planning to begin and finish your second year?

[majorchange]

5 hours ago, AP said:

Typically, people leave their programs at the end of an academic year. Are you planning to begin and finish your second year?

I am just now finishing Summer I. I'm not sure I understand. Why would I spend another year in a program I plan to leave?

[AP]

Exactly my point. Why are you still in the program if you want to leave? 

[AP]

Based on what you explained, you should have already have begin to have the conversation. I thought that maybe throughout the Spring semester you suggested having second thoughts about the program to your advisor. If you haven't, I'd urge you to begin to feel the waters. 

22 hours ago, majorchange said:

There will probably be a time period of somewhere from a few weeks to a few months after those meetings where I'm finishing things up before I'm officially done (can't stop immediately in this field for personal ethical reasons).

This part suggests that you will be starting your second year. Maybe this is how your program or field works, but it is very unusual for students to leave in the middle of the semester in good terms (which is what you want). 

It sounds you already have a MSc program in mind, correct? Bring this too to your advisor. Bring the problem (you feel the program is not a good fit for your long term interests (A, B, and C) because of X, Y, and Z) and also bring the solution (as a result, I will be leaving and applying for this MSc program because of [insert reasons for choosing that program that are connected to your leaving your present department]). 

Understand that this is only based on the information you provided. YMMV

[majorchange]

1 hour ago, AP said:

Based on what you explained, you should have already have begin to have the conversation. I thought that maybe throughout the Spring semester you suggested having second thoughts about the program to your advisor. If you haven't, I'd urge you to begin to feel the waters. 

This part suggests that you will be starting your second year. Maybe this is how your program or field works, but it is very unusual for students to leave in the middle of the semester in good terms (which is what you want). 

It sounds you already have a MSc program in mind, correct? Bring this too to your advisor. Bring the problem (you feel the program is not a good fit for your long term interests (A, B, and C) because of X, Y, and Z) and also bring the solution (as a result, I will be leaving and applying for this MSc program because of [insert reasons for choosing that program that are connected to your leaving your present department]). 

Understand that this is only based on the information you provided. YMMV

I had not decided I would be leaving until recently. You also have to understand my adviser has been more of a research mentor than anything. He doesn't typically do much advising on non-research matters like many of the other advisers do, and although he is kind he is quite reclusive and somewhat unapproachable. I also haven't been involved enough in the lab's research yet for me leaving to have too much of a negative impact on anybody. My doubts have been present since I began the program and they have only accumulated over time - it's not something I was comfortable discussing with faculty until I had made a decision. We don't have that kind of relationship. As far as "finishing things up" - that does not refer to classes or research. I was vague about that to preserve anonymity. I would not stick around at all if that were an option, but due to the nature of our work it's something that requires some time to completely wrap up regardless of what point we're at in the academic year. This is also how it worked for the student who quit last year (they left in August).

Also, I think it wise to get some field experience in the other field I plan to move to before making a decision on whether to go for the M.S. I really want to go into this new field, but I'm just trying not to have tunnel vision after having seriously misjudged what I want to do with my life once already due to lack of exposure. I cannot get that kind of experience while in this program because we are not permitted to take on outside classes or employment while we are enrolled here.

I just don't quite understand "feeling the waters" before making a decision. Of course I want to do everything I can do to make it amicable, but ultimately I am leaving whether it's amicable or not. If my adviser isn't supportive of it, I can't imagine there's much I could really do about that anyway. I can't ever imagine myself continuing to work in this field, regardless of anything the faculty may have control over. It's not the program I've had doubts about - it's the entire career. I understand "feeling the waters" before bringing up rec letters - that's just tactful/respectful - but bringing up my doubts before I had made a decision would have posed unnecessary risks.

Honestly I'm finding this whole thing very confusing. How can I be expected to know the "right" way to quit a graduate program? Nobody ever talks about it.

Edited June 27, 2018 by majorchange

[majorchange]

1 hour ago, AP said:

Based on what you explained, you should have already have begin to have the conversation. I thought that maybe throughout the Spring semester you suggested having second thoughts about the program to your advisor. If you haven't, I'd urge you to begin to feel the waters. 

This part suggests that you will be starting your second year. Maybe this is how your program or field works, but it is very unusual for students to leave in the middle of the semester in good terms (which is what you want). 

It sounds you already have a MSc program in mind, correct? Bring this too to your advisor. Bring the problem (you feel the program is not a good fit for your long term interests (A, B, and C) because of X, Y, and Z) and also bring the solution (as a result, I will be leaving and applying for this MSc program because of [insert reasons for choosing that program that are connected to your leaving your present department]). 

Understand that this is only based on the information you provided. YMMV

Also I hope my responses aren't coming off as combative. That's really not my intention. I'm just trying to understand. This whole quitting thing is the biggest life decision I've ever made, and it's kind of surreal.

[AP]

Don't worry, you don't need to explain yourself to me. 

Another option is to seek confidential advice on campus. 

[majorchange]

24 minutes ago, AP said:

Don't worry, you don't need to explain yourself to me. 

Another option is to seek confidential advice on campus. 

Just made an appointment at the career counseling center for tomorrow!