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POI mixed feelings: Help!


IggAb

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I got an offer from my top choice, but my interactions with my prof of interest has been quite awkward/strange. Although she is well known in her field and I'm interested in her research, she was quite unenthusiastic during the interview and never stated she was interested in taking me on. I even got the feeling she did NOT want me to attend that school. However, the rest of the department were wonderful and very friendly. I was surprised to get the offer after the interview, but I'm afraid if I accept, I may be stuck with an unenthusiastic/don't care advisor who never wanted me in the first place. I've tried to contact her current grad students for their opinions (they weren't at the interview day), but have no reply for two weeks!

My last resort is to contact the prof directly and ask explicitly: "do you want me in your lab?". Should I go ahead with this? I like the grad program there and the school's offer is really a once-in-your-life opportunity (I never expected to even get interviewed). But I don't want to be miserable for 5 years.

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Thinking of molecular bio labs, are you really stuck with 1 advisor for sure? Are there rotations the first year?

I suppose at this point it depends on where the funding comes from. Either the department will fund you or another prof could put forward money for you come committee meeting. I had been in contact with one prof at a school, but after I was accepted another offered me a position in his lab, too.

As far as I know, you aren't stuck with anything until after the first year. You usually need a prof to support your application, and they can serve as temporary advisor if need be, but things don't become official until you get there.

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I got an offer from my top choice, but my interactions with my prof of interest has been quite awkward/strange. Although she is well known in her field and I'm interested in her research, she was quite unenthusiastic during the interview and never stated she was interested in taking me on. I even got the feeling she did NOT want me to attend that school. However, the rest of the department were wonderful and very friendly. I was surprised to get the offer after the interview, but I'm afraid if I accept, I may be stuck with an unenthusiastic/don't care advisor who never wanted me in the first place. I've tried to contact her current grad students for their opinions (they weren't at the interview day), but have no reply for two weeks!

My last resort is to contact the prof directly and ask explicitly: "do you want me in your lab?". Should I go ahead with this? I like the grad program there and the school's offer is really a once-in-your-life opportunity (I never expected to even get interviewed). But I don't want to be miserable for 5 years.

Your relationship with your adviser is going to be of paramount importance to your success in grad school, so you are absolutely right. You should dig deeper. Students not responding for 2 weeks is indeed strange. Also, you don't seem to be EXTREMELY interested in her work.. if you have another school that you can go to that you're more excited about (in terms of the research as well as the vibes you got from your POI there), you should considering rejecting the offer from your "top choice". Before you do that, maybe you should shoot her an email and ask what you want to ask (but try to make it as subtle as possible).

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Thinking of molecular bio labs, are you really stuck with 1 advisor for sure? Are there rotations the first year?

I suppose at this point it depends on where the funding comes from. Either the department will fund you or another prof could put forward money for you come committee meeting. I had been in contact with one prof at a school, but after I was accepted another offered me a position in his lab, too.

As far as I know, you aren't stuck with anything until after the first year. You usually need a prof to support your application, and they can serve as temporary advisor if need be, but things don't become official until you get there.

Thanks for the reply SHA! You're right, there are rotations during 1st year and there are a couple of other profs whose research is somewhat close my interests. However, the department is very small and I'm afraid the offer was made with the understanding I would end up with my POI (that's how it seemed during the interview). I'm also worried switching advisors in a small department might cause tension among the faculty.

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I think you should ask the professor if you can call her sometime this week when it's mutually convenient. Tell her you're in the process of deciding on your offers and you'd like to discuss the programme and her short term/long term plans for the lab in some more detail.

Then, talk to her for a half hour. Now that it's not an interview, there should hopefully be less awkwardness and if she really wants you in the programme, she'll definitely make indications during that time that she's trying to persuade you to come and sell you on its being the right fit for you.

If after that conversation, you still have misgivings about her than I think you should go elsewhere. While it might not be a reflection on you (some academics just lack certain social graces - myself included!), you don't want to ALREADY have an advisor/student relationship where you're constantly second-guessing.

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Your relationship with your adviser is going to be of paramount importance to your success in grad school, so you are absolutely right. You should dig deeper. Students not responding for 2 weeks is indeed strange. Also, you don't seem to be EXTREMELY interested in her work.. if you have another school that you can go to that you're more excited about (in terms of the research as well as the vibes you got from your POI there), you should considering rejecting the offer from your "top choice". Before you do that, maybe you should shoot her an email and ask what you want to ask (but try to make it as subtle as possible).

Oh liszt85, I'm so sorry!! I meant to give you a positive ding for your excellent advice and I accidently hit the "-" button! Now I don't know how to fix it. Hopefully, one of the administrators will chime in and tell me how to reverse it.

Anyways, the point was, this is very sound advice! Your relationship with your POI is everything... EVERYTHING.

Sorry again :\

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Oh liszt85, I'm so sorry!! I meant to give you a positive ding for your excellent advice and I accidently hit the "-" button! Now I don't know how to fix it. Hopefully, one of the administrators will chime in and tell me how to reverse it.

Anyways, the point was, this is very sound advice! Your relationship with your POI is everything... EVERYTHING.

Sorry again :\

It's OK, I've +'ed it back to zero!

Thanks for the advice everyone. I will email her my questions and try to set up a call or something. Here's hoping she's just socially awkward and not a terrible person...

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I'm not in the sciences, but my potential advisor has totally frozen me out, while the rest of the department seems to be actively chasing me. I'm trying to be mellow about it, but it is really strange.

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An update: Heard back from some grad students, and it seems my POI is an good advisor, if a bit demanding. I also found someone else in the department willing to take me on, so if it doesn't work out, I have a backup. I don't really have any other comparable offers on the table, so I will likely take the plunge and accept the school's offer.

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