In need of some affirmation

[Tinoply]

I'm facing a rather difficult decision (although I'm 99% sure I know what I'm going to do), and I could really use some affirmation from anybody at this point. Here's the situation:

I've been accepted to two programs, one for an MA in English with a writing concentration and one for an MFA in Writing for playwriting and creative nonfiction. The MA is at a local university that I attended for the first year of my undergrad. It's not a bad school (in fact, I met my husband there -- he was in the English MA program) and the town is nice enough. Tuition will be waived and I've been offered a teaching assistantship plus enough of a stipend that we could live rather comfortably. While this is all good, I would have to go on to get a PhD, which was not part of the plan (particularly because I also plan on getting an MA and PhD in Religious Studies at some point). It's also not the degree program I applied for and the curriculum does not excite me whatsoever.

The MFA, on the other hand, would require relocating to San Francisco, where the rent is at least 4 times what we currently pay. The school doesn't offer assistantships in the first year, and I would very likely have to take out federal loans to be able to cover the cost of tuition and living expenses. I'm not entirely sure what kind of financial aid I'll be offered, and I might not find out until the deadline has passed to notify the other school of acceptance/rejection. There are positives, however: the program is extremely exciting to me, the MFA would be terminal, I am massively enamored with the coast, we would be closer to my husband's family and friends, there would be more job opportunities for him in San Francisco, and we would be much closer to Alaska (my husband works there in the summers).

The more I think about it, the less I want to accept the first offer, but I'm still a little unsure because of all the risks we'd be taking in moving across the country. It breaks my heart to think about turning down the MFA, which pretty strongly indicates to me that it would be a mistake to do so. What I really need is someone to tell me I'm making the right decision and that I'm going to be so deliriously happy in San Francisco that the debt won't matter to me. If you want to disagree with me, too, please feel free to do so (as long as you're nice ).

[ScreamingHairyArmadillo]

Do you have undergrad debt? If not, I'm inclined to say go with San Francisco. But even still, I say go with your gut! The move wouldn't be the most risky thing - there's closer family (so you could probably avoid living in a box if it came down to it) and your husband might save money for his Alaska travels and find a great job in the new city.

Don't go to the school you're not excited for. Be happy in Cali!

[Lantern]

Yep, go with your gut! Taking risks is not a bad thing. Even if it doesn't work out as you are hoping, you will always figure something out. I always think it is better to try something new, even if it fails, than to go with the safe bet and always wonder what "could have been".

[oldlady]

When I was in my mid-20s, I was passionate about film and wanted to get an MA in Film Theory at NYU. I would have had to pay for it through loans, and I had no idea how the degree would pay for itself in the long run.

So instead of going into debt, I moved to Los Angeles and starting working in the film industry. I still read a ton about film theory and even wrote a bit, but I was supporting myself instead of going into debt. I found a career path in the film industry that interested me, and subsequently decided to get my MBA so that I could continue to advance in my career.

I took out loans for my MBA, but had no doubt that I would get a well-paying job after I completed my degree in order to pay off the loans. And I did.

I share this with you because, if the financial crisis has taught us anything, it's that debt is a serious thing. We should not take on debt unless we have a clear plan on how and when we will pay this debt off. There are many ways to pursue a passion, and not all of them are costly.

I imagine that I must sound like somebody's mother, but IMHO, I don't think that you should attend either program. You seem less than excited about the first program -- why waste your time? And the second program seems financially risky.

[carpecc]

Definitely do number 2 since that has the MA and location that you're most excited about. So what if you have to take out loans for one year? That's not too bad and I'm sure if you search hard you can find suitable assistance to get by for the second year.

A phd is like a 5 year commitment! If it's not something you're excited about, then that could be a pretty drab 5 years. You don't want to be at year three thinking "What if I'd moved to San Fran?" The rewards of going to San Fran to do want you want more than outweigh the financial burden. Living poor in the city can be fun!

[liszt85]

When I was in my mid-20s, I was passionate about film and wanted to get an MA in Film Theory at NYU. I would have had to pay for it through loans, and I had no idea how the degree would pay for itself in the long run.

So instead of going into debt, I moved to Los Angeles and starting working in the film industry. I still read a ton about film theory and even wrote a bit, but I was supporting myself instead of going into debt. I found a career path in the film industry that interested me, and subsequently decided to get my MBA so that I could continue to advance in my career.

I took out loans for my MBA, but had no doubt that I would get a well-paying job after I completed my degree in order to pay off the loans. And I did.

I share this with you because, if the financial crisis has taught us anything, it's that debt is a serious thing. We should not take on debt unless we have a clear plan on how and when we will pay this debt off. There are many ways to pursue a passion, and not all of them are costly.

I imagine that I must sound like somebody's mother, but IMHO, I don't think that you should attend either program. You seem less than excited about the first program -- why waste your time? And the second program seems financially risky.

I would normally agree completely with the above but here, the OP seems like she would have a difficult time going through a demanding PhD program that doesn't interest her in the first place. Taking out loans for one year might not be such a bad idea if she has no prior debt.. also like one one the others pointed out, they could save some money on the Alaska trips and her husband might end up with a higher paying job, who knows? You cannot necessarily plan for everything. As long as she knows that she wants that MFA for sure, its perfectly justifiable to take out loans for a year.

[pea-jay]

I'm not going to comment on your overall issue, but it should be pointed out there ARE ways to live cheaply in San Francisco. For starters rents, while high arent as bad as they used to be. You could live in more marginal areas for additional savings. Or split a large apartment or house with another couple, if you are comfortable about that. Another huge potential savings would be ditching the car (if you have one) and using public transit. It may be cranky and problematic at times but it is far better than the average US transit system. I have been a periodic MUNI user (whenever I'm in town) for more than 10 years and have generally not been disappointed. Housing and transportation are your biggest expenses. After that you have health care and well thats a pain in the @ss no matter where you are. Shopping at thrift stores will also help pinch those pennies. The city's mild climate should keep both your wardrobe needs and utility bills constant throughout the year.

Again, make your decision as you see fit, but if you are willing to sacrifice a little comfort, the cost of living should not be so daunting.

[Tinoply]

Thanks, everybody, for all the support! I'm feeling much better about my decision already.

The more I think about it, the more manageable the situation seems. I've pretty much gone as far as I'm going to within my field without getting a Master's, so while I don't disagree with the soundness of oldlady's advice, I don't think it would get me where I want to be (namely, teaching at a university). With an MFA, I could start teaching straight out of grad school, and when I think of it in those terms, this is the only choice that makes sense. Now I just have to decide whether to shout for joy or barf out of nervousness. . .