Being the only one not on a fellowhsip

[CharlieR]

Hey everyone,

Almost everyone in my department is on a fellowship, all of us are on teaching assistantship. I am the only one of my year who is not on the fellowship yet I am doing a lot better than some of them, already have publications and publications in the making.... I have to admit this is taking a toll on me. Living under 16k a year is already hard enough, but knowing that everyone else is getting more based on what ? the gre grade that I missed by 0.5 ? 

Anyone got a similar experience ? Really trying to have a positive outlook on it but its hard...

[SwelSeal]

Yeah, that blows, man. The internal fellowships are easy to get, but I don't think anyone would judge you for not getting one. 

If there is a fire under your ass, like there would be with me, I would apply for some external fellowships and grants. Take those negative emotions and stick it to someone by exceeding their expectations. Nothing would be sweeter than getting a national fellowship and dancing around in the pile of money you earned.

[java_beans]

Yeah sort of in the same situation. I'm upset at watching people who I help academically, who follow my lead in extracurriculars and who prioritize other professional opportunities over their research activities get prestigious scholarships while I keep getting rejected .

Talked to my supervisor about it and seems like often times it's luck, communications, people looking for the next big thing and high competition. Thankfully he thinks I'm doing a good job and the lack of scholarships is not for lack of trying. But it's still a terrible feeling, like what else am I supposed to do.