GRE Argument Essay feedback for non native speaker :)

[claracg]

Hello peeps! I am new on this forum and I am very happy I found this gem! I am a French student preparing the GRE. My English language skills are definitely okay, but of course 'ok' is not enough for the GRE I practiced the dreaded Argument Essay for the first time today and a feedback would help me to evaluate what my strengths and weaknesses are. I know an in-depth analysis is time consuming, any small comment will help! Thank you very much

Subject: The following appeared in a memorandum from the manager of WWAC radio station.

"To reverse a decline in listener numbers, our owners have decided that WWAC must change from its current rock-music format. The decline has occurred despite population growth in our listening area, but that growth has resulted mainly from people moving here after their retirement. We must make listeners of these new residents. We could switch to a music format tailored to their tastes, but a continuing decline in local sales of recorded music suggests limited interest in music. Instead we should change to a news and talk format, a form of radio that is increasingly popular in our area."

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

Answer:

In this essay, the author examines the audience decline of local rock-music radio WWAC station and suggests to remediate the situation by capturing a new audience with a format change. To support this proposal, the author makes several hasty assumptions regarding the causes for audience decline and the preferences of the new target demographic, thus failing to make a cogent case for a format shift.

 

 

Citing the decline in listener numbers, the author implies that a change of format could remediate the issue. However, he does not provide satisfying explanations regarding the origin the decrease. Numerous factors could have provoked the drop: an excessive number of commercials, a lack of eclecticism in the musical selection, or a poor choice of radio presenters, could all result in losing listeners. In the absence of an in-depth survey or market study, it is hazardous to point out rock music as the key elements needing to be altered.

 

Secondly, the author suggests population growth did not result in audience gain, because the new residents are retired. This claim bears two suppositions, one being that people into the retirement age bracket do not like the current format (rock music), and the other that they INDEED listen to the radio. While this may sound plausible, there is again no supporting element to this thesis. We do not know if retirees dislike rock, or if they simply do not listen to the radio. If this latter argument were true, then no format change could appeal to this audience segment.

Building upon these premises, the author examines what format would be best catered to this new target. Arguing that a local decline in recorded music indicates a lack of interest in music, he proposes a talk and news approach instead . It is easy to see holes in this argument. The rise of free music streaming platforms, such as Youtube or Spotify for example, might have caused the sales to fall. Recorded music sale is too narrow of a criteria to evaluate people’s fondness for music. Going to the opera, going to a live band performance, or playing the violin or all indicate interest in music, yet can not be quantified through music sales only.

 

While WWAC should take action to countervail decline in audience, the author did not manage to provide compelling arguments to support a format change. Rebranding the station from rock-music to a talk and news oriented channel might very well result in alienating the radio’s original audience, with no guarantee that new listeners will won over in the process.