Writing is... hard

[dykeacademic]

Hello hello!

 

Needed a space to vent, release and well... cry. I'm in my second semester of my MA, Women and Gender Studies. Just had my review which went well and I am feeling.. okay. This semester has proved much harder than the first. Lots of feelings of inadequacy. My writing is plateauing, I'm feeling lost in the readings and overwhelmed by the idea that I may not be cut out for this. I am currently preparing to submit for conferences and begin my Ph.D. program applications which are creating another realm of anxiety. 

 

Is anyone else feeling this blah? Is it the winter? Lack of motivation? Any advice appreciated to get me over this hump. 

[LOiseauRouge]

I experience this sometimes as well, mostly with my creative writing. Sometimes the way in which I string words together feels so inadequate at expressing the depth of what I am trying to convey. Whenever I feel lost, I try a few different things. One of my favorite things to do is to go back to an author whose writing inspires me. That author, for me, is often Hugo von Hofmannsthal. Perhaps you can find an academic whose work you are very passionate about and reread one of your favorite papers or texts by them? Another thing I try is to change my surroundings. If I stay at my place to read, write, and work, I often have a harder time focusing. I'm going to a bookstore tomorrow with a French book I've been stuck on due to very unfamiliar vocab used in long, extended metaphors that leaves me feeling inadequate. I'm hoping that sitting a a cozy chair among all the books will help me focus and overcome the challenge without feeling too anxious. When it comes to writing, I sometimes change how I'm writing. I've written 10 page papers out on paper when I couldn't get myself to type them up (it was very helpful). Perhaps change the way you're going about writing, allow yourself to explore more, to break the conventions that are holding you back. You can always go back to edit and reform the paper afterwards. Finally, if those things don't help, I take a step away from the source of my anxiety. Going for a walk or going to the gym is very helpful to me.

Most importantly, though, is to remember that it's okay to feel overwhelmed. We all do at some point. What matters is remembering what made you passionate about your field to begin with and to know that you have important contributions to make.  

[TheU]

I agree. It's completely normal to feel overwhelmed and THIS FEELING WILL PASS. The middle of the semester was always the worst for me so hang in there. While it's totally okay to wonder if you're cut out for this, you're not alone. A lot of us feel that way and academia constantly makes you feel less than adequate, especially for women and other marginalized populations. If you want to do it, you're cut out for it. Plateaus in writing are really common and in my experience, were eventually followed by a great leap forward. Academia desperately needs more honestly when it comes to struggles and failures. And I'm feeling this too! Just cried yesterday about my dissertation and feeling completely inadequate. You got this!