I've been offered a GA position, but I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place

[rilke26]

A little background on myself: I'm a distance doctoral student (the university is a four and a half hour drive). I'm married, own a house, and currently work full time. My wife is an assistant professor at the university in my town (not the one where I go). I currently make 40k and she makes 50k.

My adviser contacted me today to offer a 20 hour/week GA position working as an editorial assistant for the most well known journal in my field (he is the editor). It pays 14.5k and covers tuition.

My current job is awful (it is not one I want to stay in, nor is it in a field I would want to pursue) and a new job is a godsend. Also, I would like the time to focus more on research and developing my CV.; therefore, this would be an amazing opportunity. The pay cut doesn't bother me personally (I can survive on it). However, I must move to my university city to take the position. It's a great opportunity for my career; however, I know my wife will immediately object to it. I know this isn't a common situation (I assume), but I was wondering if anyone had advice. Am I selfish if I take the position? 

[PsyDuck90]

It's very understandable why you want to take the position. However, you need to talk to your wife and come to a mutual decision. Is there some sort of compromise? Do you have to move into that city or can you guys possibly move in between (2 hours is still a crap commute but better than 4 and a half)? Would it be possible to live separately for the time you complete your program (not ideal, but I have married friends who have done this for their respective educational goals). To be blunt, yes, you are selfish to take a position that will benefit only you but affect your spouse as well. However, compromise can also be about each person being selfish at different times. Overall, you're probably not going to find the answer on an internet forum. You need to talk to your wife, and you two need to agree on a decision, whatever it is. Good luck! This is definitely a tough decision! 

[Entangled Phantoms]

1 hour ago, PsyDGrad90 said:

Overall, you're probably not going to find the answer on an internet forum. You need to talk to your wife, and you two need to agree on a decision, whatever it is. 

QFT

[rilke26]

Thank you for the reply. I know I won’t find “the answer” on a forum, but I wanted to get different perspectives. It’s a tough choice, and I have to bring it up with my wife soon. Just trying to get my mind centered before we talk. Much appreciated!