Significant other, or top program?

[dezgot]

Please help!

I have 2 real choices for my PhD in ECE (ideally computer architecture):

UIUC - Pros:

* Top-ranked program

* RA-funded by a professor with a good relationship

UIUC - Cons:

* Girlfriend will not be around

* Isolated, small town + cold weather

* Research offer is not exactly what I imagined doing, possibly unenjoyable (.NET) software development

University of Maryland - Pros:

* Girlfriend will be around.

* Better weather, near D.C., near family

University of Maryland - Cons:

* Funding is via a TA offer; no promising research leads yet (not too concerned)

* Also did my undergrad here

The girlfriend (of many years) is a significant enough issue that I'm already leaning toward UMD, even though I understand that UIUC is a better school. I just can't imagine leaving her for UIUC, or that I would be happy and productive without her.

Please, any thoughts? Anyone else in a similar situation and choose the lesser-ranked school?  

[jlee306]

100% the girl. It sounds like you have already made your decision but just don't know it. Besides, you know the school is great because you chose to do your undergrad there.

[shakespearebro]

I disagree with the earlier posters. There are TONS of other posts from people in your situation. The oft-repeated advice is to go to the better program. Girlfriends and such can come or go, and if they decide to stay they'll stick with you through the separation. Go with the better program and the better funding.

[rising_star]

Go to the better program.

[Squawker]

I was faced with a somewhat similar decision between two good programs. One was slightly better for my academic interests, but the other would have allowed me to live much more comfortably, close to family and with my boyfriend. For a while I was leaning towards the latter one, thinking that I would probably do better in a more comfortable and happy environment. But then when I spoke to my family about it, they all told me that I was crazy for considering the adademically inferior program. I decided on the less comfy program in a strange city. Speaking to your girlfriend about it will obviously be a bit different, but speaking to your family is a good way to get well-meaning advice from people who are more familiar with your situation than we on this website are. Most of the people posting about whether or not they should stay where their SO is have underlying problems in their relationships, suggesting that maybe it would be better for them to prioritize their academic careers. But you haven't elaborated on this, so maybe attending an ideal program isn't worth sacrificing the most valuable relationship you have (if that's what it is).