blueblueblue Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 So long story short, I am flying out for an interview soon. I am super excited, but also very very nervous (beyond all the usual reasons) because I just learned that my potential PhD advisor/mentor found out yesterday that I have Asperger's (a form of high functioning autism). The news came out accidentally from one of my references who had good intentions and positive things to say about me. I am not angry, the miscommunication occurred because she thought I had included that key bit of information in my application essay (we had talked about that as an explanation for my odd education history). However... this exchange of information does make things a little more awkward for me because I have not yet been formally accepted. I was hoping to tell the potential future grad advisor about my quirks after we had a chance to meet in person for the first time. Having AS is not something that I am ashamed of, I just prefer that initial judgments be made primarily based on the quality of my research and experience rather than based on a label that is often misunderstood. Since the "cat's out of the bag" so to speak, is there anything I can do to reduce his fears about taking me on as a grad student? What kind of reaction is he most likely to have (I am trying really really hard to understand what his perspective might be)? What are the most common stereotypes associated with this label? Did this just ruin my chances of getting in? or did this premature bit of news just save me the stress of having to disclose for the first time? Should I avoid any mention of it, or bring it up and explain how this condition impacts my life? Any advice or insights?
GK Chesterton Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 Well, now if they reject you, you have grounds for a lawsuit. So I guess that's a good thing? Ludwig von Dracula and JoeySsance 1 1
blueblueblue Posted April 15, 2010 Author Posted April 15, 2010 Ugh, that sounds even more unappealing than being rejected. My goal is the least amount of conflict or awkwardness (if that is possible). kaykaykay 1
Jae B. Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 (edited) If I were you, I would try my best not to stress about it. Just be yourself -- I wouldn't even mention it unless they bring it up. In other words, act as if you don't have it, rather than worry about stereotypes, I think. If they do ask you about it, focus on the positives about how you've dealt with it. I have a friend with Asperger's who's also a great academic, and so far he's been well-received both by those who know and don't know he has it. Good luck! Edited April 15, 2010 by Jae B.
fuzzylogician Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 I'd suggest coming ready to talk about your research, which is really the whole point of the interview. In your place, I wouldn't bring up having AS unless it somehow became relevant and I felt comfortable doing so. You must have experience in telling people, so you should know when the time is right and if the person you're talking to seems open. Personally I wouldn't want to work with someone who didn't accept me for who I was, but I also know it sucks to be rejected for reasons that are both irrelevant and out of your control. Anyway, I think it's unlikely that the professor will bring up your AS directly, rather--much like in any other interview of this sort--he'll be looking to see if there is potential for a mutually beneficial working relationship between the two of you. I think most people think of social inadequacy then they think about AS and if that's the case, then there's no need to flat out ask you about that, that's something one can observe quite easily. Now, a lot of academics are socially awkward, AS or otherwise, and you seem to have developed good connections with your current advisors -- so I really think you shouldn't be worrying about this at all. mudlark 1
mudlark Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 I second fuzzylogician. Wow the advisor with your ideas and drive, and let the chips fall where they may. I'm sure there are more students on the spectrum than most people would think.
ohi Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 I understand your anxiety, but it is not necessarily warranted. Naturally you are correct that many people, even those among us who are supposed to be highly educated, make stereotyped assumptions about others based on labels. As you are surely already aware, people with Asperger's label are gifted with unusual levels of talent. Often the talent is a result of the disability. As Baron-Cohen has suggested, perhaps Asperger's is not a disability after all, since many with it contribute so much, and so remarkably, to society. My point is: Even though in the past you may have found yourself more comfortable in a way "controlling" the release of this information, that your professor has learned about it from your mentor does not necessarily mean that the professor has come to negative assumptions or conclusions about your abilities, as a result of this knowledge. In fact, the very opposite may be true. You won't know until you meet him, and even then perhaps not, even if the subject arises in your interview. Further, you don't know whether he also struggles with disabilities of his own. Since you're in the running for a doctoral degree, my suspicion is that you too are a highly talented person who happens to have Asperger's. As fuzzylogician noted, your social skills are clearly in tact, otherwise you wouldn't have such a strong relationship with your current mentor, nor gotten to the point where you are now -- apparently, according to what you wrote, after some struggle with a one-size-fits-all education system. This process of interviewing is fraught with anxiety for all who go thru it. From that baseline, it makes sense that this is raising your nerves. Try to remember that there in fact may not be any "fears" (as you put it) for you to allay, not that you should have to anyway. Focus confidently on your strengths that you bring as a candidate. I don't know what PhD program you are pursuing, but it seems that focusing too much on a disability is, in fact, too much. If it does come up in some way, stay positive, and always keep your focus on what you're there for, so tie it all to your research and learning, and make it a footnote. Good luck!
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