Funding waitlist.. waitlist fatigue.. long story short

[H.E.]

Hello everyone, 

I hope this admissions cycle is going well, and you know where you are going next fall. I was admitted but waitlisted for funding at my top choice program. Over the last couple of weeks, this has been anxiety-inducing, jeopardizing my productivity, happiness, and sense of self-worth. If you get me started, I tend to go on and on about how I am currently an absolute mess.  

I have been in touch with my POI and the DGS, who said the funding situation would get clarified over the coming weeks, after they hear back from funded students and other potential funding sources. Yesterday, I had the opportunity to give a talk at their research group. Despite the emotional roller coaster, I worked up my courage to craft a solid presentation, including advanced simulations and analysis of my Math research topic, which I believe attest to my ability to succeed in their Ph.D. program. We have talked about research, experimental validations and elaborated on where I see my future work heading. All in all, I made it clear that there is a scarily alignment between their work and my background/interest. 

 

Now comes the exacerbation of my contradictory passions. I gave in sweat and tears to achieve such scholarly work, but I am left feeling as if I am not good enough... It took me a leap of faith to overcome my fears and compartmentalize my ideas to meet my POIs and again prove myself. Sometimes I think it isn't fair.

Any thoughts on what I should do at this point? Keep reaching out to the department DGS and POIs, continue inquiring and iterating my interest? Or simply hold back my horses and wait to see if they can secure my funding? 

Edited April 1, 2021 by H.E.

[donasen]

On 4/1/2021 at 6:50 PM, H.E. said:

Hello everyone, 

I hope this admissions cycle is going well, and you know where you are going next fall. I was admitted but waitlisted for funding at my top choice program. Over the last couple of weeks, this has been anxiety-inducing, jeopardizing my productivity, happiness, and sense of self-worth. If you get me started, I tend to go on and on about how I am currently an absolute mess.  

I have been in touch with my POI and the DGS, who said the funding situation would get clarified over the coming weeks, after they hear back from funded students and other potential funding sources. Yesterday, I had the opportunity to give a talk at their research group. Despite the emotional roller coaster, I worked up my courage to craft a solid presentation, including advanced simulations and analysis of my Math research topic, which I believe attest to my ability to succeed in their Ph.D. program. We have talked about research, experimental validations and elaborated on where I see my future work heading. All in all, I made it clear that there is a scarily alignment between their work and my background/interest. 

 

Now comes the exacerbation of my contradictory passions. I gave in sweat and tears to achieve such scholarly work, but I am left feeling as if I am not good enough... It took me a leap of faith to overcome my fears and compartmentalize my ideas to meet my POIs and again prove myself. Sometimes I think it isn't fair.

Any thoughts on what I should do at this point? Keep reaching out to the department DGS and POIs, continue inquiring and iterating my interest? Or simply hold back my horses and wait to see if they can secure my funding? 

Keep being strong! I'm in a similar situation. I have been in touch with my POI, who happens to be the head of the department I'm admitted to. They said they would clarify everything by the end of this week. Today is Thursday, and still I haven't heard anything yet. That leaves me with tomorrow. The anxiety is unbearable! Meanwhile I made it clear to them that my ability to accept the offer would depend on the funding decision. It is a depressing situation. But my faith is strong and so should be yours. I pray we all get positive resolutions to this nightmare. It would be a beautiful story. All the best.