what constitutes bragging?

[db2290]

Hi all,

I recently spoke to a Professor (she used to be on the adcom for the same course at the University I am applying to) about whether I should put any awards in my statement. She said "yes, it can't hurt!". I was slightly skeptical about this - what would you guys think about a statement such as the one below?

The conclusions of this project were presented at the British South West Universities Conference (an annual regional student conference comprised of a number of universities in England), winning the prize for Best Presentation. It was an immensely fulfilling experience to take a research question from its inception to its finish and share the findings with colleagues from around the country. This dissertation and my overall degree grade achieved the highest possible classification (‘1st’), I came overall first in the cohort in both instances.

This was in the context of a paragraph about my undergraduate thesis and what I investigated.

What do you think?

Dan

[centurysun]

to put any awards in my statement can't hurt

Edited August 29, 2010 by centurysun

[Strangefox]

The conclusions of this project were presented at the British South West Universities Conference (an annual regional student conference comprised of a number of universities in England), winning the prize for Best Presentation. It was an immensely fulfilling experience to take a research question from its inception to its finish and share the findings with colleagues from around the country. This dissertation and my overall degree grade achieved the highest possible classification (‘1st’), I came overall first in the cohort in both instances.

I would mention the fact about "the highest possible classification" only in passing and focus more on what the project was about. It's only my humble opinion, though

I would leave only the very first sentence of this paragraph.

[newms]

Hi all,

I recently spoke to a Professor (she used to be on the adcom for the same course at the University I am applying to) about whether I should put any awards in my statement. She said "yes, it can't hurt!". I was slightly skeptical about this - what would you guys think about a statement such as the one below?

The conclusions of this project were presented at the British South West Universities Conference (an annual regional student conference comprised of a number of universities in England), winning the prize for Best Presentation. It was an immensely fulfilling experience to take a research question from its inception to its finish and share the findings with colleagues from around the country. This dissertation and my overall degree grade achieved the highest possible classification (‘1st’), I came overall first in the cohort in both instances.

This was in the context of a paragraph about my undergraduate thesis and what I investigated.

What do you think?

Dan

Mention it in passing - so in a sentence about the conference and your experience there, just slip in that you got awards like it's no big deal. The writer of this SOP did a pretty good job with that: http://ls.berkeley.edu/soc/diversity/apply/samplestatement-1.html

Edited August 29, 2010 by newms

[hahahut]

Award like Best Presentation or Best Paper in a conference is a pretty big deal in my opinion. I would definitely put it in. But not so sure about "highest possible classification".

[fuzzylogician]

Assuming that you can mention prizes and distinctions elsewhere in your application - either in your CV or in the online application (most have space to mention any honors) - there's no need to talk about them in your SOP. It's also likely that at least one of your recommenders will talk about them, no? Likewise, your grades and placement in your cohort will be mentioned in your transcript, won't they?

If you do want to mention winning the prize (and your placement, though I'd recommend against it), it needs to follow a section which talks about the content of the project that won the prize; what you say needs to be much more concrete than "I enjoyed the work a learned a lot". Also, it needs to be much briefer - no more than a sentence or two. You currently spend 83 words on this issue, which could be about 10-15% of a normal-sized SOP. That's much too much, and it's generally too wordy and not tight enough. You'd use your space more wisely if you spend it on things you don't have a chance to mention elsewhere in your application -- e.g. your research interests, current work and future plans, the fit paragraph.

Edited August 30, 2010 by fuzzylogician

[cheburashka]

I agree with ^. I would slip in a reference to the award when talking about the content of your work. Also, I'd get rid of the all those uses of the passive voice in your paragraph. It will make it much less wordy and convoluted.

[db2290]

thanks guys thats great help - particularly the bit about the passive voice