Can someone please review my AWA Argument Essay. Thanks for the help.

[prachi]

Prompt:

The following appeared as part of a business plan developed by the manager of the Rialto Movie Theater.

"Despite its downtown location, the Rialto Movie Theater, a local institution for five decades, must make big changes or close its doors forever. It should follow the example of the new Apex Theater in the mall outside of town. When the Apex opened last year, it featured a video arcade, plush carpeting and seats, and a state-of-the-art sound system. Furthermore, in a recent survey, over 85 percent of respondents reported that the high price of newly released movies prevents them from going to the movies more than five times per year. Thus, if the Rialto intends to hold on to its share of a decreasing pool of moviegoers, it must offer the same features as Apex."

answer:

 

in the argument, the manager concludes that the Rialto Movie Theater must follow  Apex Theater to boost its profit and enhance its audience. The author comes to this conclusion based several premises, which , if correct, proves that the authors assertion is valid. The author's contention might be correct, but before the persuasiveness is properly analyzed, he should answer the following questions.

 

First of all, the manager assumes that all the downtown businesses are profitable, but this might not be the case. Perhaps,  there are many nonprofit institutions in the downtown location so it is proper to assume that all the institutions at downtown will be profitable. If this scenario proves true, then the author's argument is invalid.

 

Moreover, the author believes the recent survey respondents is the representative of all the residents of downtown. However, this might not be correct. For example, it is possible the survey respondents who participated in the survey are not wealthy enough and may be because of this reason they are not able to watch movies more than five times a year. Furthermore , eighty percent of respondents is not significant enough to prove that the city residents are not able to buy movie ticket or the price is relatively high, may be only ten  respondents participated. If any of these scenarios prove correct, the argument of the manager doesn't hold water.

 

Finally, the author assumes that by establishing same features as Apex theater the Rialto Theater will boost its profit as well as their audience. For instance, it is possible that the Rialto theater's profit is suffering for another reasons such as the place where the Rialto is situated may be really noisy. Additionally, it is also possible that there is food shop near the apex theater which is boosting it's audiences. If either one of these cases come true, the argument of the author jeopardizes its credibility.

 

To recapitulate, the central claim of the author might hold water, but bolster his argument he might find proper evidence regarding the reasons why it is profitable to establish same features as Apex Theater to boost its profit and enhance its audience

 

 

[LanaDel]

It's a bit confusing, in my opinion. You need to either expand the essay with explanations, or remove some of the technical symbols from it. Otherwise, the essay will have to be read interrupted by Wikipedia.