Someone, anyone, please call me paranoid.

[stylefaxee]

This is becoming ridiculous. I swear, all of the anxiety is going to my head. I am still waiting to hear back from four schools (five, if you count a waiting list) and every time I open my empty e-mail inbox (and mailbox) my gag reflex kicks in. I don't know what's the matter with me - I got into Northwestern with full funding, which I keep telling myself, but I still haven't heard from my first choice and I think I will not be at rest until all of the applications have been resolved. I should be relieved that I got in somewhere (I am, indeed, very grateful), but I can't stop thinking about the others I haven't heard from yet. Which had better be soon, because all of this worrying is addling my brain.

To wit:

A few minutes ago a young-sounding person called at the art gallery where I work, and asked simply, "who is the director of your gallery?" I thought it was a strange question since they didn't offer any explanation. I simply answered with the name of my boss, who is the owner, assuming they wanted to know who ran the place. They said goodbye and hung up. I kept thinking about it and suddenly my mind veered off to a very uncomfortable direction:

"well, 'gallery director' is my official title - it's the title I put on my CV, I just never use it ... could a graduate progam have enlisted undergrads to fact-check applicants' CVs? Did I just pound the nails into my own coffin by engendering a ridiculous misunderstanding?"

If I wasn't so queasy I'd be laughing hysterically. Am I the only one feeling like this? Or am I just blowing this whole the-grad-school-you-get-into-determines-the-trajectory-of-the-rest-of-your-life thing way out of proportion?

[engguy]

OK... YES, you're being paranoid!

I have to laugh because I go through the same paranoia, even worrying that the wrong word here or there in an email is going to offend someone at a school that's ALREADY accepted me, and somehow affect the situation.

take a deep breath... relax.

if you are sitting in a gallery, there are millions of reasons someone might call and ask who the director is -- the most obvious one that comes to mind is that it's probably an artist who wants to get an exhibit. (it's even possible that the reason he or she didn't give a name is that they've already submitted something and are waiting to hear -- thus mirroring your own situation.)

i seriously doubt that a school would try to weed you out by fact-checking a CV -- they don't have the time or manpower for that!

[stylefaxee]

LOL. Even as I was writing it I knew it was nonsense, but it helps that it was validated as such! I don't really trust my capacity for reasoning at the moment. If someone had told me a few months ago that I was going to be behaving like this I probably would have laughed in their face. Nicely, of course. Good luck with your own apps!

[engguy]

no problem, and thanks!

hang in there and try to have fun with it. It's a beautiful day here, so I'm trying to relax and take it easy and not worry so much.

[xnormajeanx]

yeah I agree... that question seems really normal. people don't usually identify themselves if they're asking such a casual question... one that requires a two word answer. don't worry! congrats on northwestern!

[snagsby52]

I understand exactly how you feel. I am going crazy too. I have been accepted into some really good schools, but I need this whole thing to be over, so I'm totally obsessing about one of the schools that I haven't heard from, and checking my email every twenty minutes like it is a completely normal thing to do. I like things to be settled and completely certain. It is what makes me good at writing papers, but bad at dealing with any sort of waiting.

I also had a loony moment today when I opened my mailbox and found twisted brown mossy stuff, leaves, etc. I thought someone was playing a trick on me--teaching me a lesson about not checking my mailbox so often. I even started to think it might be my postwoman (who is actually great.) My dad came home and took more of the natural gunk out of the mailbox and started exclaiming about the birds making nests in our mailbox...I felt like the paranoid level had gotten a little too high... :shock:

Anyway, that said, you should be extremely happy about Northwestern. That is a great school, and if the Art History program is anything like the English program, I would be totally ecstatic.

However, I am glad that other people are freaking out too...it makes me feel less weird about things like mistaking birds making nests for people giving me signs. I think I was just giving myself a sign that it was time to chill, go outside and read a book. After all, reading and writing on literature is the whole reason I got into this admission madness.

[smellie]

well, where I live, it's been SNOWING a lot the past few days.. and I mean SNOWING A HELL LOT. And maybe what's why, but I noticed that my entire building was not getting mails... and of course, it drove me nuts!

After 4 days of no postal service, the first mail I got was a rejection letter from Chicago. I still got into one of the schools I liked, so meh. :S

[lalala1]

I understand exactly how you feel. I am going crazy too. I have been accepted into some really good schools, but I need this whole thing to be over, so I'm totally obsessing about one of the schools that I haven't heard from, and checking my email every twenty minutes like it is a completely normal thing to do. I like things to be settled and completely certain. It is what makes me good at writing papers, but bad at dealing with any sort of waiting.

I also had a loony moment today when I opened my mailbox and found twisted brown mossy stuff, leaves, etc. I thought someone was playing a trick on me--teaching me a lesson about not checking my mailbox so often. I even started to think it might be my postwoman (who is actually great.) My dad came home and took more of the natural gunk out of the mailbox and started exclaiming about the birds making nests in our mailbox...I felt like the paranoid level had gotten a little too high... :shock:

Anyway, that said, you should be extremely happy about Northwestern. That is a great school, and if the Art History program is anything like the English program, I would be totally ecstatic.

However, I am glad that other people are freaking out too...it makes me feel less weird about things like mistaking birds making nests for people giving me signs. I think I was just giving myself a sign that it was time to chill, go outside and read a book. After all, reading and writing on literature is the whole reason I got into this admission madness.

haha, wow! the mailbox story made my day!

[DUguy333]

To be frank, I'm having difficulties mustering sympathy for some one who's been accepted to Northwestern. Congratulations on that, no need to worry about the others!!

[stylefaxee]

To be frank, I'm having difficulties mustering sympathy for some one who's been accepted to Northwestern. Congratulations on that, no need to worry about the others!!

I understand, and wanted to mention that I wasn't posting this for sympathy, more as a commentary on how ridiculous this whole process is and how silly I am to get worked up over it. I hope maybe you got a laugh out of it

Thanks to everyone who responded -- I'm glad to see I'm not the only one with loony moments these past few weeks! You guys crack me up. I still haven't heard from any of the four but am trying not to think about it - instead I am trying to appreciate this sudden burst of (comparatively) gorgeous weather here in Chicago...

there IS more to life then grad school after all!

[StudyMom]

OMG you guys made me laugh! I needed that! Thanks!

[KUNRD07]

psychos...

[MebiggyNooby]

That mailbox story was funny stuff.

Right now I am switching from being paranoid to plain depressed. One reject from UMD and no response from the others. With is being march 15th already, every day my hopes die out a little. I dont have much hope left anyways.

[smellie]

My postoffice hasn't been delivering mails one every 4 days. WHY? WHY NOW???

I think they're in cahoots with grad schools trying to make me depressed.

[Leica]

I have to laugh because I go through the same paranoia, even worrying that the wrong word here or there in an email is going to offend someone at a school that's ALREADY accepted me, and somehow affect the situation.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one! I sent off my acceptance form & a deposit check yesterday and I spent the evening worrying that I might have accidentally checked off "I decline" instead of "I accept" or something... It was delivered today and I'm kind of wondering whether it would be okay to call right now and double-check? Just to make sure everything's okay? They did say to call if I had any questions... hm...

This thread made my day, thanks!

[christina_bme]

I have to laugh because I go through the same paranoia, even worrying that the wrong word here or there in an email is going to offend someone at a school that's ALREADY accepted me, and somehow affect the situation.

Ha, I'm doing the same thing. Right now I'm paranoid that I've offended a potential advisor at a top choice school because of wording my emails too casually. He was very friendly and asked me to call him by his first name, and now I'm scared that I've been too familiar and made too many assumptions.

This whole process has everyone fraught with anxiety. Relax and take a deep breath. (I will attempt to take my own advice.)

[fizz]

Oh man. I'm right there with y'all. I am DYING to get my acceptance official but somehow I don't feel right doing it before I've had a chance to at least take a good close look at my finances-- can't do that for another week until finals are over, and then the visiting days are two weeks after that, and probably it's not responsible to commit until you've at least met the advisor and know she's not impossible. But what if they take it back??!! I don't think they can do that but OMG WHAT IF THEY DID??!! Aaaa the paranoia! :shock: LOL, I'm hoping I'm not really crazy as long as I know I'm crazy.

[StarvingStudentYeah]

Haha - great thread, I'm right there with you guys.

I've been accepted into one program that I'd be thrilled to attend, but have not heard from the other five yet. So, I check the email constantly hoping against hope to find that notification.

A few days ago my current schools webmail wasn't working so I decided to import it through my gmail account. When I did this, it stole all the mail from my webmail account. This made me panic to see that inbox empty, would I somehow miss a notification b/c gmail was stealing some of my new mail. I momentarily regretted that decision. It's total mania really.

As I say, I'd be thrilled to attend the school that has accepted me, but it's still maddening to wait on the rest of them. I cannot wait for the day when the decision is made and I mail/fax off that acceptance and class deposit - I just want it done and to start looking for housing options. On that day, I'm gonna celebrate by buying a baseball cap and T-shirt of the new school and popping some champagne! Can't wait.

[TMP]

Haha - great thread, I'm right there with you guys.

As I say, I'd be thrilled to attend the school that has accepted me, but it's still maddening to wait on the rest of them. I cannot wait for the day when the decision is made and I mail/fax off that acceptance and class deposit - I just want it done and to start looking for housing options. On that day, I'm gonna celebrate by buying a baseball cap and T-shirt of the new school and popping some champagne! Can't wait.

Oh my goodness, are we high school seniors again? :mrgreen: It's pretty funny considering that my brother's a high school senior and now my parents are trying to figure out how to juggle their kids who might need to visit schools before making decisions ANDDDDD the housing options...