Definition of a "geologist"

[katerific]

http://uncyclopedia..../wiki/Geologist

"Geologists are 'scientists' with unnatural obsessions with beer and rocks. Often too intelligent to do monotonous sciences like biology, chemistry, or physics, geologists devote their time to mud-worrying, volcano poking, fault finding, bouldering, dust-collecting, and high-risk colouring."

on hobbies: "One of the geologists' favoured pastime is the noble art of rock hunting. A great deal of skill is required for this most awesome of pursuits. The stalk is the hardest part of a rock hunt with the risk that you may startle the herd... Always a bother as you have to set up the ambush all over again once they've quieted down. With regards to weapons, it is generally accepted that projectiles are not suitable as they may mar the trophy and render it less presentable. A swift blow with a geopick (that's why they have a pointed end) is considered the most humane method and generally leaves the trophy undamaged and more suitable for display. One can always scavenge for less mobile specimens but in most cases these have been subject to weathering and decay and do not exhibit the full mating plumage of a rock in its prime. A good nose is also required to "sniff-out" the best examples, hence the term "Rock-Hound"."

Note: Okay, this is totally not serious/really related to grad school at all (or is it?), but I really wanted to

1. add a bit of life to this subforum and

2. share something funny.

Enjoy!

[waddle]

katerific:

here's another:

A Geologist and an engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Geologist leans over to the Engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The Geologist persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotta fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5." Again, the Engineer politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The Geologist now somewhat agitated, says, "OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!"

This catches the Engineer's attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The Geologist asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the moon?"

The Engineer doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the Geologist.

Now, it's the Engineer's turn. He asks the Geologist, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?" The Geologist looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers -- all to no avail.

After about an hour, he wakes the Engineer and hands him $50. The Engineer politely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep.

The Geologist is more than a little miffed, shakes the Engineer and asks, "Well, so what's the answer?"

Without a word, the Engineer reaches into his wallet, hands the Geologist $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.

-- from: http://www.facebook....9212&topic=6184

Edited January 4, 2011 by waddle

[katerific]

From Fake Science, which is 110% truth. (The non-geology ones are even better.)

[EVAN462]

Haha that's great^ XD

[waddle]

shameless repost from reddit.

EDIT: caption: The right way to do field work.

Edited May 24, 2012 by waddle

[katerific]

Shameless, waddle. Shame. less.

Have an upvote anyway. I mean... a +1.

[katerific]

He didn't even mention (Mg,Fe)7Si8O22(OH)2. Now THAT'S restraint.

Edited July 16, 2012 by katerific

[waddle]

YEEEE. Is one of them named Micah? Because then they must have perfect cleavage. Also metamorphism: it's hot and heavy.

Edited July 20, 2012 by waddle

[katerific]

Geologists might make the bedrock, but the motion of the ocean makes the bed rock. Things get pretty wet with oceanographers.

As for atmospheric people? One word: haboob.