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Ugh. This is me being angry but grad school shouldn't be something you do because you don't have any other options. It should be something that you feel you *have* to do, like a calling. You've been chosen, with or without your Will.

over and out,

sad applicant.

Shame I can't press that little green plus sign more than once.

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isn't it terribly difficult to get funding in the UK though? I mean, I heard that the US is more likely to fund...

I've heard that, too, but I also think you should weigh things based on what you're going for. For example, I'm looking to study the Gothic, which is much, much more popular overseas than it is here (in the UK, Germany, Australia and India). While some of the schools I've applied to in the US offer full funding packages (Stanford, Columbia), they don't have many faculty members in my field of interest. U Arizona has a major Gothicist on staff, but if I go there, I'll have to fund myself, because they don't really offer money. Over in the UK, two of the programs I've applied to have some very well-known Gothicists as faculty members. While funding isn't guaranteed, I can at least compete for it, which is more than I can do with Arizona, and I'll have an opportunity to network with some pretty big names in my field. Again, this is my situation, and it'll be different for everyone, but it's something to consider.

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I've heard that, too, but I also think you should weigh things based on what you're going for. For example, I'm looking to study the Gothic, which is much, much more popular overseas than it is here (in the UK, Germany, Australia and India). While some of the schools I've applied to in the US offer full funding packages (Stanford, Columbia), they don't have many faculty members in my field of interest. U Arizona has a major Gothicist on staff, but if I go there, I'll have to fund myself, because they don't really offer money. Over in the UK, two of the programs I've applied to have some very well-known Gothicists as faculty members. While funding isn't guaranteed, I can at least compete for it, which is more than I can do with Arizona, and I'll have an opportunity to network with some pretty big names in my field. Again, this is my situation, and it'll be different for everyone, but it's something to consider.

Hmm. I suppose the next time I could try to apply to both. I did research mostly on US unis, because I thought there was no chance of funding in the UK. Also I'd prefer to have coursework even though I've an MA because I feel like getting more knowledge forced into you never hurts. I'm not even sure where I'm working. I um, have papers on modernists. But my MA thesis is a comparative study between the narratology of Jane Austen and Virginia Woolf (with respect to their use of irony; it has a good dose of Kierkegaard too). Then I have 2 conference papers, one on Larkin (and war) and one on Joyce and the Carnival. When people hear what I'm doing they usually say "huh" or "Gee, never thought of that" >_< [this ranges from good 'O, what an insight' to 'I do NOT think this will work']. So I can't even really begin to 'pin' my 'areas' down. :unsure: I was very worried about applying to PhD programs, but my sup convinced me that marketing my 'weirdness' would help [evidently. not? working?]

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Hmm. I suppose the next time I could try to apply to both. I did research mostly on US unis, because I thought there was no chance of funding in the UK. Also I'd prefer to have coursework even though I've an MA because I feel like getting more knowledge forced into you never hurts. I'm not even sure where I'm working. I um, have papers on modernists. But my MA thesis is a comparative study between the narratology of Jane Austen and Virginia Woolf (with respect to their use of irony; it has a good dose of Kierkegaard too). Then I have 2 conference papers, one on Larkin (and war) and one on Joyce and the Carnival. When people hear what I'm doing they usually say "huh" or "Gee, never thought of that" >_< [this ranges from good 'O, what an insight' to 'I do NOT think this will work']. So I can't even really begin to 'pin' my 'areas' down. :unsure: I was very worried about applying to PhD programs, but my sup convinced me that marketing my 'weirdness' would help [evidently. not? working?]

It sounds to me like the application process has pushed you towards a lot of self-doubt-- believe me, I get it! But don't lose hope just yet. From what you've described, you sound a lot like I did when I was first trying to put together my research proposal for the universities in the UK (swapping the Gothic with Modernism, of coursetongue.gif)-- anxious, a little intimidated, and exhausted. I think when you've got work that you believe is really something-- you can discuss it at length, your evidence is clear to you and you're able to articulate it-- even if other people are scratching their heads, you shouldn't abandon it because you're feeling a little shaken from the process and/or from reactions you've encountered (I had a friend last year whose sample was basically under siege by many of the faculty members in our undergraduate English department; he made it into some incredible programs, and is fully funded and quite happy where he is). I'm not at all a Modernist-- I have two close friends that are, but that's the extent of my dabbling-- but it seems like you do have yourself pointed in a particular direction, and all you need to do now is get a little more specific. Be as demanding of your critics as I'm sure many of them have been of you-- when someone says, "what an insight," ask them what it is that you're doing that's so striking, and see if they have suggestions as to how you can expand on that; if someone says, "this isn't working," demand an explanation as to why, and, if you're given constructive remarks, see how you can use this criticism to polish your work. Remember, at some point we're all going to need to publish, so if you're doing something that hasn't really been done before, you may be an odd duck now, but when it comes time for the academic presses to choose who's doing new and exciting stuff, you'll be feeling a lot better about your "weirdness." As for the schools abroad, there are also degrees like the MPhil and the MLitt that might be worth some investigation on your part-- students who complete those programs are generally accepted into the DPhil/PhD at the same university, so that path would reflect an American PhD program (and, while I'm not sure if this is true across the board, as far as the nine overseas universities I've applied to are concerned, funding seems more available for the taught programs than the research programs-- not great news for me, but you might benefit from it). Best of luck! And hang in there!

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This is my second round of applications. If it doesn't work out (I do have an acceptance to Temple that makes me quite happy, but funding worries me), I think I am going to give up on the dream for the moment. The idea of this makes me extremely unhappy, but I really gave it my all this application season (loss of job meant that I had a lot of time and poured everything I could into this round). I may try to scheme ways to make myself more competitive (I've applied to some funded MA programs, and I could get my language skills up to par to help), but I feel like it really comes down to the writing at this point and I've made my sample as good as it's going to get.

So now I'm trying to come up with a feasible backup plan in case. Right now it centers around publishing (I currently have an unpaid internship for a small press and am doing interviews for an EA position locally), but we'll see. Everyone keeps reminding me that I have other options, but I'm sure all of you know that it can be really hard to see that!

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  • 3 weeks later...

I've never posted anything before -- only just discovered this site. In fact, I don't think I've ever posted on an online forum before. I sort of stumbled upon this site just yesterday when I was googling to find out if people had heard back from schools yet. It's weird that I never found this site before, actually, considering this is my third round of applications to Ph.D. programs. I applied to eight graduate programs (four M.A.s and four Ph.D.s) when I finished my B.A. (with a 3.77 gpa, 70-80 percentile gre scores, and a 55 percentile gre lit. score) and was fairly quickly rejected by all but one Master's program. Fortunately my husband was able to complete his Master's at the same school (in Biology). It was depressing the first time around, but at least I knew that I had two more years of school, another degree, and lots of work that would go into preparing me for a second round of applications (I retook the GREs and significantly raised my scores). After completing my M.A. (with a 3.98 gpa, 90-95 percentile gre scores, and 85 percentile gre lit. score), I applied to eleven Ph.D. programs and was rejected from each one. It wasn't easier considering the fact that my husband (with significantly lower scores) applied to two programs and got accepted into his top choice with full financial aid. (Maybe I should have gone into the sciences? haha) Now, unfortunately, I'm more limited by location. We haven't been able to bring ourselves to discuss the possibility of living separately while completing our Ph.D.s, so I (maybe stupidly?) only applied to one program this time around -- but I live close-by, and I really tried to communicate with the department and the faculty members to increase my chances of acceptance. I'm fairly certain that all of this program's acceptances have been sent out, and now I'm really stuck. I haven't been able to find work since graduating -- I was teaching while finishing my Master's, but moving (and losing all the connections I built while living in one place) and the budgeting in my state (basically the fact that NO ONE is hiring) has left me with little possibility for finding a teaching job (to be honest, teaching composition is pretty much one of the last things I want to do anyway). I've really branched out in my job search, and in six months, I've only worked as a minimum-wage, part-time, seasonal retail employee and had a brief three-week stint as a private SAT tutor. There are other careers I can see myself pursuing if it came to that -- but not truly enjoying. What's difficult at this point is that it seems inevitable that I will have to relocate (at least temporarily) in order to even potentially attend a Ph.D. program (if I could even ever get in) or pursue ANY meaningful career, while my husband finishes the next 4-5 years of his program. I know the economy sucks -- but I can't even get a sucky job. :) I'm frustrated and depressed beyond anything because I don't really know what to do to strengthen my application at this point. The only thing I haven't done is attend conferences, but like some other posters, I'm discouraged about my ability to do so. I feel so much that these rejections from programs must speak to my weaknesses as a scholar ,and I've started to feel that what I've written (in spite of a lot of positive encouragement from faculty mentors) would be unsuited for presentation at an academic conference.

Anyway, to all the other rejects, I feel your pain -- it's nice to know I'm not alone!! :) ...... Although I will say that all the perky posts by people who have been accepted into multiple programs kind of make me want to crawl into bed for about a week.

If any of you know anyone who has been accepted on the fourth or fifth time around, I'd love to hear from you!!

P.S. I'm sorry to complain so much -- this message board struck me as a good place to vent, but reading over my post, I realize that's pretty much all I've done.....

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