Your favorite euphemism

[Neko]

"At this time, we do not admit candidates who have little to no possibility to succeed in life. We recommend you pursue work more suited to your skill set and aspirations. This guide to local fast food restaurants in your area should help you get started. Thank you for your application fee."

lol, I love this one. I don't think any of us are in quite that awful of a situation, but man, does it feel that way sometimes.

[Ashlett]

lol, I love this one. I don't think any of us are in quite that awful of a situation, but man, does it feel that way sometimes.

Particularly the "thanks for your money" part...

[ZeeMore21]

"It's not you, it's me"....I think that would be make me feel better lol

Edited February 27, 2011 by ZeeMore21

[antithesis]

"Our money could be used better elsewhere, such as toner."

[smarmie]

I thought my rejection letter was pretty sweet. "The committee has decided not to recommend your admission and I concur with this decision."

It would have been so much better if it had said "The committee has decided not to recommend your admission despite my many pleas to do so. Honestly, I fought long and hard on your behalf but those soulless demon spawns would not be swayed." I mean, I know that's not the case, but couldn't they just say that to make me feel better?

The other part of my rejection that I particularly enjoyed was the part where they said "thank you for the time and effort you invested in your application, I know that these expenditures of money and time are considerable," Why yes, I did essentially waste a lot of time and 80 dollars to receive a slight ego bruise, thanks for rubbing it in.

[aliciaw]

"We've got 550 applicants, and you weren't good enough.

SUCKS TO BE YOU HAHAH!!!"

+ completed application to McDonald's.

Edited February 28, 2011 by aliciaw

[potted_music]

My favourite rejection so far, courtesy of one European joint doctorate program: "We encourage you to work harder"

[Red Bull]

For rejection based on programmatic fit:

It's not you, it's us.

P.S.- Thanks for the app fee, the staff all bought lottery tickets and Dr. Johnson won two hundred dollars.

[cokohlik]

My favourite rejection so far, courtesy of one European joint doctorate program: "We encourage you to work harder"

LOL!!

[The Dudester]

"Thank you for your application! Unfortunately, there were qualified applicants and we just can't accept a chump like you. Our favorite thing about your application was pinning it up in the office so we could all laugh at how foolish you were for applying. We're done now, and we are forwarding it to Burger King, where we fill your talents will be appreciated. Good luck in your future career as Fry Technician."

This is what I read when I read a rejection.

Edited March 5, 2011 by The Dudester

[dmf]

Smarmie- I got that one too and thought the wording was quite strange! As if the grad secretary would go against the department's recommendation. Still, by stating it that way, it made me feel twice as rejected. Also, it's sort of nice that they realize how hard we work and how much money we spend in the application process, but it sort of felt like they were re-opening the wounds and rubbing salt into them...

[was1984]

Here's the gist of a second (yes, second) rejection email I received from Berkeley EECS:

Blah blah blah, you weren't recommended; it was really competitive; we have strict enrollment guidelines.

HOWEVER, even though you aren't good enough for Berkeley, please consider attending United Arab Emirates University, where you may have the opportunity to work with Berkeley faculty in the future.

WTF?

[oldwolf]

Here's the gist of a second (yes, second) rejection email I received from Berkeley EECS:

Blah blah blah, you weren't recommended; it was really competitive; we have strict enrollment guidelines.

HOWEVER, even though you aren't good enough for Berkeley, please consider attending United Arab Emirates University, where you may have the opportunity to work with Berkeley faculty in the future.

WTF?

No way! I can see it in the future of rejection letters -- advertisements for online programs and obscure colleges like ETS does currently with their "search service".

"While we feel that you would be out of place at our institution, Larry's Cheap Part-Time Degrees is a unique establishment that would be VERY excited to consider you for their department."

Incredibly screwed up! Good riddance to them (the school)

Edited March 7, 2011 by oldwolf

[truckbasket]

I can handle rejection and all, but some of the letters I received were not exactly sensitive. I mean a couple of them were just a few steps away from "we've taken the liberty to provide you with an application for custodial work at our institution." Little rough!

[smarmie]

Smarmie- I got that one too and thought the wording was quite strange! As if the grad secretary would go against the department's recommendation. Still, by stating it that way, it made me feel twice as rejected. Also, it's sort of nice that they realize how hard we work and how much money we spend in the application process, but it sort of felt like they were re-opening the wounds and rubbing salt into them...

Funny that I wrote that because earlier this week my second rejection came as the standard "we had many applicants and couldn't admit all of them" email. However, a couple days later I got a personal email from my POI stating that while the adcom decided not to admit me, she had supported my application and was extremely disappointed that I was not admitted. Uh, so yeah, she essentially said that she went against the department's recommendation. Weird. It STILL didn't make me feel better though.

[benafflicted]

"We feel your talents could be better used anywhere but here."

Favorite.

One of mine was:

Please know that we very much appreciate the time and effort you put into the materials you submitted, _{^{as well as the opportunity you gave us to consider your application.}}

Exactly! I gave you an opportunity. Hahah.

[grad2be]

"Let me thank you for the spirit of adventure you have demonstrated by applying at this early stage of your professional life. We respect and value the considerable investment you made in your application and hope that the process of reflection and self-assessment has been valuable."

[heelsoverhead]

The worst rejection courtesy of ASU:

Email subject: "ASU Deny Letter." From a "Do Not Reply Address."

At least I didn't have to open the email to know what the decision was. Beats me, the other university in that state thought I was worthy.

[truckbasket]

"Let me thank you for the spirit of adventure you have demonstrated by applying at this early stage of your professional life."

Whoever ever penned that abomination should be beaten severely.

[grad2be]

Whoever ever penned that abomination should be beaten severely.

Lol. Harvard Business School.