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Irrititational Fear #673


KreacherKeeper

  

69 members have voted

  1. 1. I wake up worried about admits?

    • Yep. who doesn't
    • No, I'm super cool!
    • Only on nights when I don't cry myself to sleep with worry.
  2. 2. My biggest fear of getting into grad school is...

    • Cost....I need money
    • Moving....I will miss my cat
    • That I have been accidently accepted and they will laugh at me when I arrive
    • I may have to finally clean my dorm fridge after 4 years
    • I will be buried in debt and still end up working at a coffee shop
    • I may have to READ the books for class this time around
    • Fear, what fear, I'm super cool!
  3. 3. If I am rejected from grad school I will...

    • Cry until I run out of money for rent and then go look for work
    • Try again, with schools with a better fit
    • Its ok, I was only trying to please my advisor
      0
    • Who cares, I have a great job....
    • Sob into my cat and decide to be the crazy cat person
    • Apply for some less selective programs with later deadlines
    • Sue my last school for breach of contract... Where did my tuition money there go again?
    • Find a hole and bury myself....I am DEAD already


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So, last night at 4:32 in the morning according to my alarm clock I woke up completely convinced that I had applied to school and SPELLED MY OWN NAME WRONG. Now, unfortunately, this is not completely without precedent. When I was in 9th grade, writing the PSAT I had to fill out those bubble things (I am old) carefully tracking down the alphabet to fill in the bubble letters representing my name. When I got it back, my family got a huge laugh at the girl who scored well, but couldn't get her name right!

So, like I said, 4:32 this morning I wake up convinced, I will never, ever, get into my first choice program, because I spelled my name wrong. So, I get out of bed, look up all my printed copies and spend the next hour and half looking for typos (and I found one or two questionable commas and an awkward sentence I would have changed now.

Is anyone else having panic moments during the wait game?

Edited by KreacherKeeper
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I'm starting to send out emails requesting visits for my whirlwind tour of east coast schools, and I had a nightmare last night that I sent a template email with the wrong school title. As in, "Dear Columbia AdCom, I am excited about visiting NYU." I think my dream-self was calm, all things considered. I distinctly remember thinking that I could safely cross one school off my worry list.

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I'm still worried about being an impostor. Everyone is going to laugh at me and my quaint ideas.

I think everyone in academia goes through this at some point - I know I have. You find yourself surrounded by all these brilliant people and wonder what could they ever want with or see in me?

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I'm worried about failing out and having to move back home, to my tongue clucking mother who says I should've never moved away at all, didn't she tell me I don't do well away from family? (I moved out, but I'm only an hour away from my parents.)

I'm worried about quitting my very stable, unionized, good-for-my-age position at the government to chase a dream.

I'm worried about not making any friends in a city I've never been to before.

I'm worried that the other kids will think I'm stupid and shouldn't be there. And try to shove me into a locker.

I'm worried that the professors will be cold and think I have nothing to offer.

I'M WORRIED ABOUT NOT GETTING IN ANY WHERE AT ALL, MAKING ALL OF THE ABOVE MOOT.

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I'm worried about failing out and having to move back home, to my tongue clucking mother who says I should've never moved away at all, didn't she tell me I don't do well away from family? (I moved out, but I'm only an hour away from my parents.)

I'm worried about quitting my very stable, unionized, good-for-my-age position at the government to chase a dream.

I'm worried about not making any friends in a city I've never been to before.

I'm worried that the other kids will think I'm stupid and shouldn't be there. And try to shove me into a locker.

I'm worried that the professors will be cold and think I have nothing to offer.

I'M WORRIED ABOUT NOT GETTING IN ANY WHERE AT ALL, MAKING ALL OF THE ABOVE MOOT.

I am so right with you, down to the 'what if they push me over on the first day and steal my supercool eco-friendly lunchbox' or worse, what if I am eating a packed lunch in my supercool lunch box that my Mom made me on the sofa of my childhood home because I can neither get a job or get into a grad program!

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