All applicants were invited to the school's gradstudent conference.

[everygirl]

Hi fellow-waiters,

The program director for one of the schools I applied to sent an invitation to all the applicants to attend the grad-student conference this weekend. (Side note: I saw her name in my inbox and had a HEART ATTACK. Alas, only an invitation, not a decision. But what a mean thing to do.) Purportedly, past/present students and faculty are attending. I'm not sure if I should go, even though it's in my immediate area, in a part of town I usually frequent anyway. Reasons below:

1) I would feel lame. I'm just an applicant to the program. Even though we were invited, I would just feel... lame. If I don't get in, I would feel embarrassed having met a lot of my almost-cohort, only to never see them again. I don't know why, especially since I'll never see them again.

2) As far as I can tell, no one in my life wants to go with me, so I'd have to go alone. Even more lame.

3) I'm generally an outgoing and friendly person, but I am having a hard time believing that about myself right now (reason: no acceptances). The most I want to do this weekend is curl up with cheap wine and wait for Monday so I can check the mail. (I am not speaking in hyperbole.) I don't want to network. Shan't.

4) I don't think my POIs are attending, but I can't be sure of that. I also don't want to email the director to confirm. Should I?

Opinions are greatly appreciated. Please leave one below.

P.S. This is my second choice school, if it matters.

[Desi5]

I say go, especially since its easy for you and in your area. You lose nothing by going, you could possible gain a lot. Not only will you be able to network (great no matter where you end up), but you'll get a good feel for the department and maybe make a good impression on some influential people to boot! It certainly shows your interest in the program. You say you feel lame because you don't have any acceptances yet-- well THEY don't know that. So you needn't feel lame! Go shake some hands, listen to some talks, and don't sweat it too much.

[psi456]

As someone going for a PhD in business areas, I should say network.

However, as an eternal introvert, I'd feel so incredibly lame and unable to impress anyone.

Should you go? Probably. Would I go? Probably not, in all honesty.

I voted "lame" for what its worth, even though I'm clearly vacillating.

[jmacnomad]

Hi fellow-waiters,

The program director for one of the schools I applied to sent an invitation to all the applicants to attend the grad-student conference this weekend. (Side note: I saw her name in my inbox and had a HEART ATTACK. Alas, only an invitation, not a decision. But what a mean thing to do.) Purportedly, past/present students and faculty are attending. I'm not sure if I should go, even though it's in my immediate area, in a part of town I usually frequent anyway. Reasons below:

1) I would feel lame. I'm just an applicant to the program. Even though we were invited, I would just feel... lame. If I don't get in, I would feel embarrassed having met a lot of my almost-cohort, only to never see them again. I don't know why, especially since I'll never see them again.

2) As far as I can tell, no one in my life wants to go with me, so I'd have to go alone. Even more lame.

3) I'm generally an outgoing and friendly person, but I am having a hard time believing that about myself right now (reason: no acceptances). The most I want to do this weekend is curl up with cheap wine and wait for Monday so I can check the mail. (I am not speaking in hyperbole.) I don't want to network. Shan't.

4) I don't think my POIs are attending, but I can't be sure of that. I also don't want to email the director to confirm. Should I?

Opinions are greatly appreciated. Please leave one below.

P.S. This is my second choice school, if it matters.

You should go and network. I'm an introvert who hates networking, but it's the name of the game. Google some advice for networking at conferences and pick up a few tips. Ask lots of questions of people about their experiences. (People generally like talking about their experiences and research).

I got invited to the same thing, but unfortunately I live VERY far away!

[LJK]

People talk. I hosted a prospective graduate student who is applying to work with my current advisor and the advisor asked for my impressions. The prof I TA for asked what I think of the applicants - I shared what I knew. Showing up, talking to people, and making sure that they know you were there and interested is a huge positive.

It might be awkward, and you might have butterflies or whatever your body does with anxiousness, but it will totally be worth it if you get in. My current advisor said this to me yesterday: You only need one acceptance, you can only go to one place, right? Do what you can to turn the silence into an acceptance.

[everygirl]

Thank you for the responses. I feel like it's pretty obvious I should go, even with the potential weirdness factor, but I. don't. want. to.

I think I'm just being neurotic and overthinking it because of the NO ACCEPTANCES thing. Even though, in Canada, we generally receive our decisions later. This particular program won't contact until late March. So it's likely they'll understand, but I still cringe inside when my imaginary self says "Um, NO acceptances yet, grad student comfortably situated in program! But thank you for inquiring."

Oh well. They are actually serving free booze and food during the performance part of the evening, so there is that.

Showing up, talking to people, and making sure that they know you were there and interested is a huge positive.

Yes, yes, you are correct. My mother would say the same thing if I wanted to talk to her about this grad school thing. Which I don't, because the first words out of her mouth are usually along the lines of, "You'll get in! Don't worry. Do you mind if I tell your grandmother you got in already, even if it turns out you don't? She's old, and the shock... I mean, we succeed in our family. Your father's side, they're the losers."