feeling pressured...

[closetgeek]

So I've been accepted (still unofficially..can I get some official news!?) to a school and am being offered a really nice fellowship..I'm also being considered for another fellowship, which would equate to an incredibly nice funding package...my summer advisor there/poi/recommender for other schools (which has made things really awkward at times) has kinda been pressuring me from day 1 to go there. He's a really great advisor--I would love to work with him..but I still feel like if I got accepted to Tech, I would want to go there...they just have a really good robotics/ai program. But when my advisor told me about the fellowship, he said it should be really hard to turn down now, that no other school would offer me such funding, and then was just like asking me what it would take for me to accept the offer..(As I was writing this, I got the official email -- yay!!!)....anyways...would I be crazy to turn this offer down, just because of funding?? Funding has always been in the back of my mind..as long as I could live I would be okay..

[juilletmercredi]

First of all, could you combine both fellowships or would you have to choose one? I would check on that before getting your hopes up about both fellowships. My university has it set up so that you can't really receive more than one fellowship at a time, although they will "top up" your funding in certain cases.

Second of all, ignore your professor's pressure. If he does it again, I would say "I really, really appreciate your interest, and trust me, I am still interested in University as a top choice. But I would like to have all of my options on the table before I make a decision I can't take back." He's trying to get you to come in because he wants you to work for him, and so it's understandable that he'd want to pressure you, but you have to make such a decision for YOU. He doesn't know that no other school would offer you funding like that and neither do you, so if you are still waiting for Tech and the deadline is nowhere upon you yet (I'm assuming you have until April 15?) I'd wait it out and just deal with him as he comes.

Funding is not the only important thing in a program. It is one of THE most important for your quality of life and general happiness, but not THE most important. The culture of the department, the location, the research match between you and your advisor/PI and his or her mentoring style, the requirements of the curriculum - all of that is important and is going to contribute to your time to degree and your satisfaction while you are there. Sometimes it's worth it to take a slightly smaller funding package if the place is going to be better at getting you a job later or you are going to have a happier life doing what you do there.

[closetgeek]

First of all, could you combine both fellowships or would you have to choose one? I would check on that before getting your hopes up about both fellowships. My university has it set up so that you can't really receive more than one fellowship at a time, although they will "top up" your funding in certain cases.

Second of all, ignore your professor's pressure. If he does it again, I would say "I really, really appreciate your interest, and trust me, I am still interested in University as a top choice. But I would like to have all of my options on the table before I make a decision I can't take back." He's trying to get you to come in because he wants you to work for him, and so it's understandable that he'd want to pressure you, but you have to make such a decision for YOU. He doesn't know that no other school would offer you funding like that and neither do you, so if you are still waiting for Tech and the deadline is nowhere upon you yet (I'm assuming you have until April 15?) I'd wait it out and just deal with him as he comes.

Funding is not the only important thing in a program. It is one of THE most important for your quality of life and general happiness, but not THE most important. The culture of the department, the location, the research match between you and your advisor/PI and his or her mentoring style, the requirements of the curriculum - all of that is important and is going to contribute to your time to degree and your satisfaction while you are there. Sometimes it's worth it to take a slightly smaller funding package if the place is going to be better at getting you a job later or you are going to have a happier life doing what you do there.

I was also wondering whether I could actually combine the two, but my advisor there was like "that'd be a double whammy if you got both!" so I'm assuming yes..but I don't know for sure.\

And yes, the deadline is likely April 15 for both schools, which is why I don't understand why he's pressuring me so much right now. I've told him I wanted to know all of my options first..but I do know that he just wants be to go there...

Also, I agree that funding is not the only important thing..I definitely understand that, which is why this offer hasn't really changed my opinion that much. But I guess I just have to wait and see if Tech actually accepts me . And then I'll move on to the "April 15 FREAK OUT" forum

[eklavya]

That's okay if the prof is passionate/adamant about you going to their program.. it's very good actually, because it tells you that they love you, and you'd probably have a great time there. That said, it's also your right to have enough time (and chance) to analyze the pros and cons of all schools you've/will hear from, and then decide. Take your time, there's no rush. Remember how much they agonized you over the waiting period. The tables have turned now, poke them with the iron rod.. muhahahaha

ETA: slowly though, killing is bad

Edited March 7, 2011 by bhikhaari

[hupr]

I'd say also check on the two funding offers. Most departments I'm familiar with (humanities and social sciences) don't let you double dip, although many will top you up if the outside funding is less than what the department would be offering. I've also heard of some schools even throwing in a bonus of a few hundred dollars a month for outside funding that is more than you would have gotten from the dept. They do this to encourage you to loo for outside funding, since it saves the dept. money and in some cases (Javits, NSF, etc.) even brings in some money for the dept.

[closetgeek]

ah, you guys were right . Only one fellowship allowed..I thought it would be ridiculous to have that much money in grad school -- I've been preparing to ball on a budget!

[adelashk]

ah, you guys were right . Only one fellowship allowed..I thought it would be ridiculous to have that much money in grad school -- I've been preparing to ball on a budget!

closetgeek,

As another fellow thegradcafe member once said: If it were about the money, you'd be working instead of applying to graduate school

[MoJingly]

closetgeek,

As another fellow thegradcafe member once said: If it were about the money, you'd be working instead of applying to graduate school

That is so true, but I won't lie, I was awarded a generous fellowship in a place with an extremely low cost of living and the decision might be somewhat about the money It's all something to consider.

[closetgeek]

closetgeek,

As another fellow thegradcafe member once said: If it were about the money, you'd be working instead of applying to graduate school

I agree..that's pretty much what I've been telling people