When to update Recommenders

[StellaHaiti2]

I am curious what everyone intends to do for their recommenders. I am excited to share my one acceptance so far, but I literally just heard. Should I wait and send asingle update when I have my options all laid out on the table?

[TVDOC]

I am curious what everyone intends to do for their recommenders. I am excited to share my one acceptance so far, but I literally just heard. Should I wait and send asingle update when I have my options all laid out on the table?

I gave each a hand written thank you card after the LOR's were all completed. 1 recommender is my advisor so we talk every few days and I keep him updated as accepts/rejects arrive, another prof, I left him know every 2 weeks or so if I have any news because he likes to be kept up to date, the 3rd recommender I have not been in contact with and will updated when I make my final decision. Also, whenever I decide, i was planning on getting each an additional little token gift such as a mug w/ the school name or something, but nothing big, just a "token" gift.

I think each person is probably different and handles things based on their relationship w/ the recommenders. I wouldnt say there is a right or wrong way of going about things. But, I do think once you make a decision they should hear it from you and not through the grape vine.

[lasgirl]

When I hear back from all my schools (one more left!) and then make my final decision (so... April 14th, probably, haha) I'm going to write each one a handwritten thank you note letting them know where I was accepted, who offered funding, and where I chose to go and why. And probably a token gift as well - small coffee place gift card or something like that

[michpc]

I sent handwritten thank yous on cards I'd laid out myself (created using my photography on MPIX) to my recommenders after I'd finished my last application. I think sending that right away helps remind them that you haven't forgotten about them now that you're finished with apps. I also updated them via email when I got my first acceptance, and will do the same when I've made a final decision on where I'm attending. It seems some here send gifts, but the consensus when I googled was that this was a no-no, so I'm still up in the air on that. One of my recommenders was the faculty adviser for the rugby team I was president of in college, so I'll probably at least buy him a beer at our next alumni weekend in the fall!

[lasgirl]

Since the votes so far agree with 'I will let them know once I decide which offer I will accept via email' scenario, would you mention, in that email, your: (i) offers + rejections; (ii) offers only; or (iii) decision only?

Mine will be handwritten, not emailed, but I plan on listing all of the schools that accepted me and what funding/fellowships/etc each one offered. They know where I applied, and since I got into 7/9 of them (and really, I was waitlisted at one of the others, which I will also tell them) it would sound weird being like "oh, and BC said no." haha

[StellaHaiti2]

I had the delightfully anxiety-producing timing to visit schools as they were releasing decisions, but luckily I was either accepted in person or a day or two before my visit. I mailed postcards from each school as I visited, in the convenient order of least prestigious to most prestigious. I said thank you for supporting me, a little something about my visit, and a reminder of what I would specialize in and opportunities at each school. On the first postcard I told them I was accepted to 2 more programs and to expect more mail! I let them know I would follow up via email after I make my final decision (around April 1).

It was cheap, fun, and they experience some wonderful anticipation on my behalf! Plus, easy to display.

[newms]

I updated them when I got my first couple acceptances and when I knew where I was going to go. I also sent them thank you cards after I had finished applying in January.

[emmm]

Updating my recommenders has been one of the nicest parts of the whole application process. I recently got my one and only acceptance after being put on a waitlist. At first I wasn't sure about updating recommenders about rejections, but I am very close to two of my recommenders and my third recommender is very close to one of my other recommenders, so I figured it was best that she also hear the news directly from me. As a result, I feel that I now know that recommender better and the support she has shown me is more than I ever expected. In fact, I have been extremely touched by how encouraging my recommenders are -- it has really helped me to know how much they believe in me and my capabilities.

Edited March 27, 2011 by emmm

[phdsucceed]

Updating my recommenders has been one of the nicest parts of the whole application process. I recently got my one and only acceptance after being put on a waitlist. At first I wasn't sure about updating recommenders about rejections, but I am very close to two of my recommenders and my third recommender is very close to one of my other recommenders, so I figured it was best that she also hear the news directly from me. As a result, I feel that I now know that recommender better and the support she has shown me is more than I ever expected. In fact, I have been extremely touched by how encouraging my recommenders are -- it has really helped me to know how much they believe in me and my capabilities.

emmm, this is great to read. Letter-writers really do care about the people they endorse... it's a more personal favor than it might seem. (I tried to explain this a little here.)

Regarding the main topic of this thread, I think it doesn't matter too much if you write your references once after deciding on a program or at one or two intermediate points also. It depends on how close you are to the recommenders. What's most important is that you're succinct and express some gratitude.

Gifts are totally unnecessary, though many people don't mind them. Hand-written cards might also be appreciated by a few, but I think timely emails are just fine. Past a certain point professionally, you don't go around giving other people gifts just because they're serving as a reference for you. (Letters of recommendation never stop in academia... they're required for getting tenure.) It might strike some as vaguely amateurish or odd to do so.

[Robin wood]

So there are many fellow beings who just think like me