How bad is it? - I feel like I am making the biggest mistake of my life ever!

[yolandaking]

I have been accepted to school A(Master's) at the end of March (it was my first acceptance) and I put the deposit down right away.

School A is a decent research school (tier 2 maybe??)

Then I have been accepted to the school where I am attending now for BA a couple weeks after.

School B is a much smaller state funded school with no Ph. D program(not so well known in the field, but I feel very comfortable with all the professors and they are very very supportive of me going there)

I accepted the offer from B too because they (unofficially-one of the professors told me that I would be getting it, but I haven't got the packet or anything) offered me a TA position.

Initially I was planning to tell the school A that I am not going there anymore because initially I thought school A was a lot more expensive.

But every day I wake up and feel like I am making a huge mistake.

So I haven't been able to make myself call the school A, and kinda decided to see if they are going to offer me anything.

(Thought worst case, I would just tell school B I am not going to go there any more)

This morning, the department chair of the school B comes up to me said "conglatulations, I heard you are joining us" and shook my hand.

I should be happy everybody at school B knows me and is happy that I am going there, but I feel like I screwed it up.

I feel like there is NO ROOM FOR GETTING OUT of that offer anymore.

AND what's worse is today I kinda find out (because of some bizarre reason) school B isn't even that much cheaper after all (maybe 15 grand-is it a lot !??)

SOMEBODY PLEASE SAY SOMETHING TO THIS CRAZY HEAD!

Should I follow my gut feeling, excuse myself from the school B knowing that I might be totally ruining my reputation?

( Or do you think it's not too horrible to back down now?)

OR should I just call school A and tell them I am not going there anymore??

I AM THE WORST DECISION MAKER EVER!!!

I should be so happy but I am so sad instead,,,,,,,

I am so angry at myself for being so unreasonable and stupid!!!

Edited April 21, 2011 by yolandaking

[CSC]

Either way you are going to have to go through with the mildly uncomfortable process of turning one of them down. But on the bright side, Im sure they both will be great opportunities (ie there is no wrong choice, only two right choices). It sounds like you are leaning towards school A. If thats the case then dont let yourself be pressured into staying there. They wont be offended if you decline and it will only take a minute (or an email) to tell them so, and remember that this decision will determine the next few years of your life.

[wtncffts]

Well, it's good that you acknowledge yourself how "unreasonable and stupid" you've been in this process, because I would have to say you didn't exactly handle it well. Why did you accept the offers so quickly, without knowing the details first (funding, cost, etc.)? Was there a deadline? Why did you accept at School B knowing you had already accepted at school A? It seems like you were just in a panic or something instead of taking your time and thinking things through. In any case, what's done is done. I agree that you seem to prefer School A, so the only thing you can do is tell B you changed your mind. I wouldn't count on them not being offended, though, or at least rather annoyed. This isn't just a matter of declining an offer; you're backing out of an offer which you had already accepted, knowing at the time that you already committed to another school.

[yolandaking]

Well, it's good that you acknowledge yourself how "unreasonable and stupid" you've been in this process, because I would have to say you didn't exactly handle it well. Why did you accept the offers so quickly, without knowing the details first (funding, cost, etc.)? Was there a deadline? Why did you accept at School B knowing you had already accepted at school A? It seems like you were just in a panic or something instead of taking your time and thinking things through. In any case, what's done is done. I agree that you seem to prefer School A, so the only thing you can do is tell B you changed your mind. I wouldn't count on them not being offended, though, or at least rather annoyed. This isn't just a matter of declining an offer; you're backing out of an offer which you had already accepted, knowing at the time that you already committed to another school.

Well, school A's deadline was way before I heard from any other schools so I had to accept it. What would look really bad is that I did not delcline the offer from A immediately after I accepted the offere from B. I see how it's something that could be frowned upon by a lot of people . I'm not morally ethically rotten or anything. Just really insecure about my decision I guess. But thank you for your comments. And CSC, thanx a lot. For some reason what you said made me feel better. I know it's going to be extremely difficult to tell the professor I had a change of mind, but like you said I will have to live with my decision for years. I was in bed after I posted this (of course couldn't sleep) and reached a realization, I have been silly. I have been looking at the financial aspect so much, and every reason why I thought I had to go to school B was just my attempt to justify it. I was not excited and even sad whenever I pictured myself going to the school B. And the whole time I tried not to REALLY consider going to school A, but now I do, it makes me really excited. If I go to school B, I would keep thinking what would have happened otherwise, and it would bother me tremendously that my decision was largely based on financial reasons. But if I go to school A, if I ever regret it for any reason, I think I can live with it because it was really MY choice. OH well I will be totally broke x2 for the next 2 years but I guest I will have to. One more thing I decided. I am not going to be able to sleep tonight. I've been obsessing over this ALL day, literally all day. Going to stay up all night, get some work done, study for the finals, write papers... AND I am going to man up and go speak to the graduate director in person. I am going to try to be as honest possible. That's what I am going to do

Edited April 21, 2011 by yolandaking

[Zouzax]

good luck! let us know how it goes.