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A PhD at 35? With a baby? And an app turnaround of a month?


phdmaybe

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I have an MFA in Writing, taught as an adjunct professor for seven years, and am currently working outside academe as an editor. I want to get back to teaching, and I want to be a better, more thoroughly-prepared teacher. I also simply want to study lit more deeply. Post Ph.D., I can see myself pursuing a college teaching position, but I've considered teaching high school as well.

I am currently on the verge of applying, last-minute, for a PhD in English at WashU, in my hometown. It would be my sole application, at least at present. I'm not really willing to move elsewhere right now.

I have a six-month-old baby, and I'm 35.

A few questions:

Am I crazy to try to do this? Is there any hope of getting into this program if I write the statement, take the GRE, and get my rec letters now? (Deadline is Jan. 19, 2009.) Aside from logistics, I'd love to hear from any women out there with babies/small children who are currently pursuing PhDs in English. Is it brutal? Worse than a FT job (which is my current situation), or better? Any chance of having more time with my daughter?

Am I simply too old for this?

Thank you for your honest feedback.

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35 isn't too old, though the turnaround time is quite tight. I say its worth applying to see how it goes this year since you're only applying to one school; if you don't get in you'll have time to consider whether or not you'd like to apply again next year.

There are some concerns I would have about pursuing the PhD though. Would you have someone to watch your child while you're in class? there are several people in my program with small children/infants, but they have spouses who either help or handle the childcare. Also, are you willing to move somewhere in the future? If you're not, and you just want to stay in your area and teach, I'm not sure I'd go through the effort of getting the PhD if it were me. The job market is tough as it is; it can be impossible to find of job if you are really constrained geographically. If you can see yourself teaching high school english and being happy, you might be better off getting your teaching certificate and doing that. A phd is a long, serious commitment that offers no guarantee of employment. Would you be frustrated if after 5+ years of grinding effort, the only job you can get is another adjunct position? If you can only see yourself as a full professor and you're willing to make some sacrifices, by all means, go for it. Just make sure you're sure first though.

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I think the response you've gotten above is a good one. Just wanted to let you know you aren't alone. I also have a 6-month-old (and a three year old) and am applying for PhD programs for next year.

The timing might be tight, but I think it is doable if you take the GRE ASAP - you can always give them your scores off the computer/phone before you get your official report in the mail (you get the computer score right away and I got my percentiles on the phone about a week before I got my mailed scores).

Good luck!

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I have heard that grad school is the best time to have a baby (as opposed to right after you get into the job market, or after you've got tenure), so I imagine you will be alright if you already have a child. I can't give any advice beyond that, really, but you should check out women_grads on LJ (http://community.livejournal.com/women_grads/profile). There are a lot of women there in similar situations and you can check through some old posts (I know this sort of thing has been asked before) or make your own. Best of luck!

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You don't need a PhD to be a better teacher. PhDs are to train future researchers in the field. If you want to do more than just study and teach, but turn out research that will get you a position at a university--even CCs are now turning towards professors who can publish--then I would say get a PhD.

I would just be really wary of going into a PhD because you want to teach. It is an admirable vocation, but that is not what a doctoral degree is really about. Since you don't mind teaching at the high school level with that degree, then that might not be any problem. However, as the above poster said, a full-time doctoral degree will take up a lot of your time. I mean, a lot. It isn't just about doing the reading and going to class, you have to do a lot more than that at all kinds of odd hours.

Keep that in mind and good luck on whatever you decide to do.

eta- A full-time job would be far easier than what I'm doing now IMO. I'm not trying to be too much of a downer here, I just really want to get across the time constraints you'll find yourself in during your doctoral work.

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I can't tell you if you are crazy, except that if you are, you are not alone! I am also applying for a PhD (in public policy) with a 3 year old and another baby due in May (would be 3 months when school starts in the fall). I have a very supportive spouse and family in the area, awesome full-time child care and 2 years before my oldest starts kindergarten, so I figure this would be the best time to commit myself to 2 years of 80-hour weeks in classes before the dissertation process begins. Good luck!

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oh, as anese pointed out, a PhD is WAY more work than a full time job. I foolishly thought that I'd have more time to myself when I started my program then when I was working 60+ hours a week. Dead wrong. If I'm not eating or in class, I'm working.

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Something to think about...your baby will not be a baby baby by the time you start your program and by the time you finish, he/she will have started school. As hard as it is to conceive right now, it will go fast. I'm 39 and have three children myself (3,13, 19), and I can tell you that time absolutely flies. I went back to school to do a bachelor's degree when the youngest was five months old, and while it wasn't easy, it certainly wasn't impossible. Most big schools have childcare facilities that are really quite good and there is some expectation that female grad students may have children during the five or six year period during which they complete their degrees. I think it's definitely quite possible to do a phd with children, that's certainly my plan, but as with anything make sure you know what resources are available to you.

As for completing all the things you need to to complete your application by the deadline...that might be a little trickier. It might not be a bad idea to wait until next year in order to avoid making yourself totally nuts. You may find that going back to school with two-year-old is easier than with a one-year-old, for both you and your child.

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I'm really glad to read about other women with children pursuing Ph.D's. I have a 3 year old, who will be 4 going on 5 if and when I get accepted into a program, and there's a good chance that I will be single at the time (my now husband and I are going through a trial separation). I've been doing my homework, and it seems possible to me! Maybe hard, but I've never been afraid of a little work. Luckily my family and husband have been supportive of my decision to pursue higher education - which will be great if I end up at a school near them, but probably a little tougher if I end up going somewhere that's not. For the field I'm interested in (primate behavior), the schools are scattered all over the country.

Good luck to you!

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I was about 6 months old when my mom started her PhD. She applied to one program, took the GRE, applied to one fellowship. She got in, got the fellowship, and got started working. Her advisor (male) has children (including one about my age) and knew that she was working on her PhD while having 3 kids at home. My dad was the main breadwinner at the time. Sometimes we had to go to campus with her after school for meetings (we'd play on the grass outside the building or pick dates off the ground nearby, etc). That said, time management is key. My mom would put us to bed at 9pm, having already read a bedtime story, and then go downstairs and work on classwork, her dissertation, etc. It took her 8 years from start to finish (several intervening family factors). Actually, some of the people she started with timed out after being ABD for too long so don't think it's the family that will keep you from finishing. Hope this helps! You can PM me for more if you want.

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I've really enjoyed reading these posts--its interesting how life finds a way of moving forward even when you are a student. I'm in a kind of similar situation--I'm 27 and I'll be getting married next summer. (i never thought of myself as the marrying type, but like i said, life sneaks up on you sometimes). My husband-to-be though, is much older than I am. He is also Japanese (where Im living now) and speaks only a little English. He's super excited about moving to the States (that is if i get in anywhere this time around). And he's been home with me several times and loves it there.

Kind of like a child though, he's going to need a lot of help getting adjusted, learning the language, trying to find a job etc, in a place where he can't function like an adult--at least at first, and will have no support except for me.

sometimes, i don't think about it, and sometimes I get really anxious when thinking how I will balance time between him and school. But I suppose its best not to worry about all of that now, and just cross the bridge when I come to it.

There's no point to this post really, just that lots of people are in all different kinds of situations. So no, I don't think it's a crazy idea at all!

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Hey all,

It's great read about all of you with kids and grad school. I'm nearly a decade older than phdmaybe with three children, 10, 9 and just turned 3. I decided to go for a PhD last year at Halloween-time. I applied to 5 schools and was accepted at just one -- my first choice which also was the best fit. When applying I think it is really key to apply only to schools where you know you have a good fit for the faculty or program or both. I very much want to teach at university level and research for publication, and I keep trying to keep that in mind as I work 70+ hours or so a week. This is much much harder than a full time job, especially in the first semester when you need to learn how to be a graduate students (at least for those of us who have been out of school for a long time). I am not complaining, I love it all, but you will have very little free time. Every moment I am not writing, researching, commuting, teaching, attending class, or reading, I am doing mundane things like laundry, grocery shopping (rather like a strategic military campaign!), cooking and refereeing my sons. I consider a 30 minute session at the park with my youngest as a rare treat. Still, I don't think they feel neglected and I make sure they have all that they need but it is very hard. You can do it but make sure you are really committed to the end goal before you start.

Best of luck!

StudyMom

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