Recently Thrown Out; Need Help/Advice, Please

[ktel]

Obviously, I'm not going to try and feed into the cycle of abuse. But would it be reasonable to (at least) try and put up with it for one more year while I try and get set up with opportunities and alternate payment options during the school year?

I seriously don't understand why you want our approval so badly. It sounds like you've already made up your mind as to what you want to do and are just seeking approval. I don't see why you need the go ahead from a group of strangers who know nothing about you other than a short paragraph. If you think you should apologize so you can have some more time to make yourself financially independent, do it. If you think apologizing would make things worse, don't. You know yourself way better than we do.

[singlecell]

I can understand why thedig13 wants our perspective, not necessarily our approval, since he/she is so inside the situation we can give our perspectives as truly neutral observers...

[sacklunch]

Apologize and rarely be at home (if possible). I dealt with something similar when I was younger and honestly I don't regret it. In the end we remain close, although I know I could never live with them again. I'm glad I did it, since it kept my debts low-ish. I'm in the humanities, so keeping debt low is a really big concern.

[fuzzylogician]

While I am reluctant to advise anyone to stay in an abusive situation any longer than absolutely necessary, I think it's important that you have a clear plan of action in case you choose to do that. Make arrangements to be away during the summers and start the process of becoming financially independent, as others have advised in this thread. Be sure you have the tools to leave whenever you feel that you need to, and plan to do that sooner rather than later. It sounds to me like you are doing well in school and you'll be alright, and I believe that the cost of freedom from abuse is greater than that of high grades so even if you would have to put your education on hold for a while until you get back on your feet, I think it's worth it. Grad school won't go away if you take another year or two to get there than you planned. On the other hand I can also see the benefits of apologizing and I respect your decision to do that, I just think it's important not to stay passive in the situation once you apologize - be active and prepare the ground for leaving.