How Can I Circumvent a Negative Notation on a Grad School Application?

[GreatGraduate]

Hi,

In 2008 I graduated from one of the best business schools in the PAC 10 and after running my own business for awhile I've been thinking of going to graduate school with the goal of becoming a campus sugar daddy before the age of 30. One problem I've been having is that they all want transcripts from every undergraduate university I've attended and one otherwise insignificant institution has most likely placed a negative notation on it. By otherwise insignificant institution I mean a low quality commuter school that I only used to get credits while between good universities and by most likely I mean that I got my transcripts sent off to a better school before any negative notation could be applied.

Circumstances

After a negative experience in the Greek system at one school I left my frat and decided to hang out at a commuter school before transferring to a better one. Shortly after arriving members of the campus "public safety" attempted to arrest me for a crime I did not commit. Like any innocent person I fought back striking those wimps repeatedly, spitting in their faces, and threatening to kill them as well as their families. Eventually the real police showed up and shot me with a Taser to subdue me before charging me with misdemeanor assault. At my arraignment my charges were increased to felony charges of assaults on multiple "public safety" officers. At trial I was found not guilty of the underlying charge that I was arrested on, but guilty of multiple assaults on "public safety" officers on the grounds that despite being low skilled rent a cops my assailants were employed by the state to do police duties and that state law criminalizes acts of justifiable self defense made against law enforcement personnel. I was given misdemeanor treatment because I was a first time offender and my lawyer convinced the judge that I thought those "public safety" officers were security guards instead of cops due to the fact that "public safety" does not contain any language that specifically distinguishes as police officers or security guard. Still the judge unfairly made do 40 hours of slave work that he called "community service" after rejecting my parents offer to pay him thousands of dollars to keep me from having to slave away with working class peons.

The university evicted me from student housing and I was forced to rejoin a far inferior chapter of my fraternity at that school just to live near campus after my conviction led to multiple applications to nearby apartments being rejected (it was downtown in a major city, so they do background checks). I hated that frat full of tools and when I found a loophole I moved back into student housing and got one of the nicest apartments on campus. Some months later I was stumbling home drunk after celebrating a 3.9 term GPA when the same rent a cop harassed me again outside my building and tackled me with no provocation whatsoever. Despite being armed with a quick draw pocket knife I allowed the pig to assault me because I knew that a justified stab and twist to the throat would violate my probation. He took me to the drunk tank and I went home thinking it was just a bit of harassment in revenge for when I kicked his ass.

A couple months later I got a letter from the dean accusing me of violating the student code of conduct for allegedly engaging in conduct to the effect of being "intended to injure another". I talked to my attorney who said it was baseless, but advised me not to pursue it legally because he was surprised that my probation officer was not informed (a drinking ban was part of my probation). I went to the disciplinary hearing thinking nothing of it, listened to the officer tell a truthful account of events, and answering no when I asked him i I had ever attempted to strike him or if I threatened him in any way. Like anyone I was shocked to have been found guilty. When asked to explain themselves the disciplinary committee failed to provide proof of a violation and elected instead to say that their ruling was based on the necessity to enforce "the spirit of the code", so basically they admitted that I never violated the code to the letter.

To make sure that the admissions people at better institutions would not have their judgement clouded by false accusations I marched right down to the registrar and had sealed copies of my transcripts sent off. Shortly there later my school of choice was happy to accept an ideal student like me. I later graduated from that school with a degree in business and descent, but a slightly less that 3.0 GPA. Since then I have launched a successful online publishing business that thrives on allowing anonymous users to say whatever they want and exploiting search engine algorithms to make sure whatever they say tops Google for whatever they are talking about.

At this point I think that I probably have four options:

1. Hope that grad schools I apply for settle for the transcript from where I graduated.

2. Apply only to my alma mater hoping that they will just use the information they already have on file.

3. Publish false information demonizing the official responsible for the negative notation in a highly damaging, believable, legitimate news looking, and libelous way using one of my offshore servers before offering to remove it in order to compel removal of the negative notation.

4. Hire people to personally intimidate that official into removing the negative notation with threats of physical violence.

What do you think I should do?

At this point I would have not problem extending number 4 to include the use of deadly force against the official and the officers since misconduct by the latter caused me to lose a job offer right after graduation to a less qualified applicant who did not have a criminal record forcing me into less profitable entrepreneurship. They would be dead already, but I don't feel like living the rest of my life in a foreign country. Forgive my language, but after watching a movie tonight about an anti-French movement my belief in the justification of oppressive official removal by any means has been reinvigorated.

[kaykaykay]

oh my god. I hope you are just making all these up. Anyone who is even considering using deadly force against another human being is beyond acceptable for me. I hope you manage to get some professional help before you make it to grad school, i think you need it.

[waddle]

don't feed the troll, please

[ktel]

This is such a well crafted troll post

[wtncffts]

It's hard for me to imagine, even on the internet, that someone would take the time to constuct this whole narrative just for trolling purposes. If it is real, I have no advice other than that you should concentrate on making yourself a decent and respectable human being rather than getting into grad school, which I hope never happens.

[qbtacoma]

I agree with wtncffts - I can absolutely see someone with a self-righteous attitude believe he was not in the wrong and in fact that his victims deserved it. It isn't unrealistic to me that a book-smart person would be capable of doing something like this.

Don't worry, OP - you will never, ever get into grad school. You are too reprehensible and anyone who reads your story would fear for their own safety, since you seem to have no remorse or logical understanding of how you come off. There's no way you can hide what you done, not even by intimidating the people you think are responsible. In fact, any move to do so will further destroy any small credibility you have left. Give up now, and be satisfied with whatever career prospects you already have.

[katerific]

u guize. I present:

Edited August 13, 2011 by katerific

[long_time_lurker]

That was funny.

[LilRara]

Maybe the mob would be a better fit than grad school. Good luck to you!

This really does crack me up though.