I chose (cheaper) Harvard over (more expensive) Columbia... and I regret it every single day

[CvsH]

I decided to write this message because I am finding myself in a very stressful situation.

I am an international student who wanted to pursue Master "X" (I prefer not to disclosure) and attend Columbia University. I have had this idea in my mind for the last 2-3 years. In this particular field, Columbia is very well ranked (bit over Harvard), yet I would say it is not such a big deal because they are more or less similar (I mean, it is not MBA where Harvard is always better ranked than Columbia and are important in that field). I really wanted Columbia because I really liked the program and obviously... because of NYC.

So last year I made my apps, and I was happily accepted to Columbia. It was great! I also applied to other universities (including Harvard) as a back-up.

When the financial aid came, I learnt from Columbia that I got $0 scholarship, yet I got $25k scholarship from Harvard University. The length of the two Masters is comparable, yet tuition in Columbia is slightly more expensive (all the semesters combined, like $3-4k, so the overall additional cost would be $25+3/4 = 28/29.000 dollars more expensive). I also thought that Cambridge/Boston would be cheaper than Manhattan (I was wrong, Cambridge has Manhattan prices). I am not by any means super wealthy, so economically, Harvard looked a better deal.

Talking to some professors and friends who studied in the US, most of them advised me to go to Harvard, than you cannot beat the name (even my thesis prof. at undergrad, who is a Columbia alumni and married to a Harvard alumna, told me to come here), especially internationally... and being almost $30k cheaper, would be a no-brainer.

I had visited Boston/Cambridge once before (in summer, true) and I thought I could live here.

I was wrong.

I have been here for 1 month and a half and I hate the physical environment and every day I wake up, I wonder what I am doing here. Most people in the Master, when asking them why they chose Harvard over any other... the reply is 99% of times... "Because it is Harvard and everybody knows about Harvard"... so I feel there is quite a few "unhappy" people that made this decision because of the name... I feel it is so sad to be 2 years of your life just to put this name in your resume instead of another one... Also I really think the Columbia program and courses would be more interesting for my career, and yet obviously at Harvard I have a wide range of courses to pick at from, I really don't feel convinced on many of them.

I am seriously thinking about withdrawing... coming back to work (abroad) and re-apply to Columbia next year (if they take me as I declined their offer (!)), but also, the additional cost would be a lot (because I would probably get no fin-aid again). It may look ridiculous, but I have to be happy and I doubt I will be it here in the next 2 years, and I really feel that NYC and specially the Columbia program and environment would be a better fit for me... just came here because it was cheaper (good reason) and I was influenced to go for the ""best"" name.

I don't know what to do. Any thoughts?

[db2290]

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. I'm at Harvard now, and for what it's worth, I'm enjoying myself immensely. That said, I'm not sure of the specifics of your program, field or experiences there so I can't comment on your situation.

I'm wondering what specific problems you are facing and what you refer to when you speak about the 'physical environment'. If there is a specific issue with your program, as it seems you are implying, there should be some kind of forum where you can speak to a program administrator? If many of you are having similar issues then this might be the best course of action.

Lastly, I would give it slightly longer if you are considering withdrawing. This is for a number of reasons: firstly, it is likely you have already paid tuition for this semester and it is already 'sunk costs'; second, you may have a change of heart by Christmas time; and third, you have no clue (at least as far as your post indicates) if you will face similar problems at Columbia. It is also considerably more expensive at Columbia, of course.

Anyway, hope you reach some conclusion. Sounds like you are in quite a predicament!

[ktel]

I would say wait it out a little bit longer. I've just started my program, and I will say it's not amazing right now, but I know it will get better. The combination of moving, knowing nobody and starting a new program isn't a good combination that makes for instant happiness. Perhaps the fact that you turned down another offer makes you think "what if" but you might have felt this way even if you went to Columbia. It's too soon to tell if this is truly indicative of the Harvard experience.

[CvsH]

I'm wondering what specific problems you are facing and what you refer to when you speak about the 'physical environment'. If there is a specific issue with your program, as it seems you are implying, there should be some kind of forum where you can speak to a program administrator? If many of you are having similar issues then this might be the best course of action.

I "dreamed" about ending up in Columbia and NYC.... and I ended up in Harvard (I applied the day before the app deadline "just in case" I was not accepted in Columbia) and in Cambridge... which is not the most exciting place in the world

[fuzzylogician]

I "dreamed" about ending up in Columbia and NYC.... and I ended up in Harvard (I applied the day before the app deadline "just in case" I was not accepted in Columbia) and in Cambridge... which is not the most exciting place in the world

I live in Cambridge and I love it here. It's not New York but that doesn't mean it doesn't have its own charm; I would choose Cambridge over NY any time. Personal taste aside, It took me more than a year to get fully acclimated in my program and feel like it really fits me, but now I am having lots of fun and enjoying pretty much everything I do (though I have to admit that my program was my first place before I even applied). Which is not to say that everything is perfect, but I choose not to dwell on the parts I enjoy less and make the most of the parts I enjoy more.

I agree with the other posters that you shouldn't give up just yet. I also think it might help you to try and think less negatively about where you are and imagine great things about where you are not. "What-ifs" are just not realistic and imagining that everything would have been perfect if you had made a different choice is a little bit naive. Maybe this is harsh but you're at a great place and besides you've already paid for this semester so being positive and making the most of it is the best course of action at this point.

Edited October 6, 2011 by fuzzylogician

[eco_env]

If it's mostly a matter of wanting the excitement of NYC, you can visit NY fairly cheaply and easily (OK, it's 4 hours by bus, but that's manageable once per semester). And Boston/Cambridge and the surrounding cities are full of students- there must be stuff going on that would interest you. Housing is expensive in some parts of the Boston area (all the decent parts, I guess), but not a expensive as Manhattan, and there should be plenty of potential roommates to choose from. what kind of "excitement" are you looking for? maybe look at the Boston/Cambridge thread in the City Guide for ideas.

[sacklunch]

Just wait it out. You would likely be having similar feelings at Columbia. Wait at least a full semester, if not a year, and then decide if you want to drop out. I'm assuming you have rent, bills, ect. Likely you would have to spend big money to get out of these commitments, so you have a lot more reasons to say and see what happens. In the end, you will do just fine. Cheer up, mate.

[Behavioral]

If it's any consolation, all my friends from California that moved to NYC (thinking they were going to love it) almost unanimously hate it. It's one thing to visit NYC (I love visiting, but feel exhausted after about a week in the city), but it's something completely different to live there. Ask New Yorkers (especially grad students) -- if you don't have a large sum of money to begin with, you're going to be struggling just to survive -- unless you live pretty far out of the city.

[runonsentence]

Americans have a saying: "the grass is always greener on the other side." It sounds to me like perhaps you're having trouble adjusting and are trying to convince yourself that Columbia ("the other side") would be the better choice for instance happiness. But I think that thinking comparatively like this probably isn't helpful. No decision is ever perfect, and no school will be without its problems—I don't think that Columbia is necessarily your instant fix. Try, if you can, not to focus on lines of thought like, "Oh, if I'd only gone to Columbia, I'd surely like my neighborhood more...."

I think I agree with other posters that many of your difficulties may be related to the initial adjustment to a new school, a new program, not knowing anyone...also, I wasn't clear from your post, but have you moved from abroad to the U.S. for the first time, as well? It may be that you're also experiencing some culture shock. I would suggest you wait it out, definitely for the rest of the semester, if not the year, before making any decisions.

Good luck, and I'm sorry you're having some trouble.

[Bomoh]

I agree with runonsentence. I went to school in Boston, and really enjoyed my time there. Try to make the most of the city-- it is definitely smaller than NYC, but it is charming and in my opinion, much more friendly. Take a walk or a jog on the Esplanade, go to a hockey game at BU, walk around the Commons or Newbury Street. It's a walking city, and you may benefit from taking advantage of the things one usually classifies at touristy. On campus, you can join a club or two, even one outside of your field of study in order to meet new people, possibly some friends. You will always have the opportunity to drop out, so before you do, why not give it one last ditch effort and try to make Boston (and Cambridge) feel a bit more like home.

[starmaker]

I live in the Boston area. You say it's not exciting. I am somewhat boggled at the idea that Harvard Square is not exciting, but, different people like different things. What would you consider to be reasonably exciting? Perhaps I can make some recommendations.

I agree with the people who suggested joining clubs. Get involved, make friends.

[juilletmercredi]

I have to agree with Behavioral: "Ask New Yorkers (especially grad students) -- if you don't have a large sum of money to begin with, you're going to be struggling just to survive -- unless you live pretty far out of the city." I moved from Atlanta to New York to attend Columbia, and I'm in my fourth year. I love Columbia, but I am so over living in New York.

Aside from being too expensive to fully enjoy on a graduate student stipend (college and grad students get so excited about moving here without realizing that we can't afford anything in the city!), it's just stressful. I can't articulate it but there is something about living in New York that is mentally exhausting. You will live in a box - even if you have a lot of money, you will still live in a box, it will just be slightly larger and nicer - you will get caught up in the throngs on the street, you will shop in grocery stores whose aisles are not big enough for two people. *shrug* I was really excited to come back to New York - I was born here, and lived upstate for my childhood - and now, as an adult, I am over it. I've chatted with other graduate students about it too and in my simple anecdotal experience, I'd say a small majority of people share my feelings. Even the grad students who I know are from New York want to move away. They don't see a future here for themselves vis-a-vis buying property and starting a family because it's so expensive, and they share feelings of being mentally exhausted by the city. I actually would like to move back down South.

Now, don't get me wrong - living in New York is fun a lot of the time, especially once you find some things you can consistently do on your meager salary. And there are lots of free things, especially in the summer. But I can't imagine that it would be many times more fun than Boston. The thing about a new city is that it's never fun until you figure out what you can do, and a month and a half isn't enough time!

Stick it out for at least a semester. And honestly, I'd advise trudging through the 2 years. Two years flies by and unless you are absolutely miserable, I'd say a little restlessness at a $25K discount for a top school is better than going into massive debt on a school you're not even sure will be much better. If you dream of living in New York, just move here after you graduate.

[Maankamaanka]

am currently a grad student at columbia - teacher college, I think you will do better to focus on making the most out of your life at Harvard, its really a good place and sometimes you cannot be in two places at the same time and in a way there is always some regret of what you do, if you were at columbia you would be thinking harvard is better!

one thing I really feel about this place is that its very expensive! I was shocked how expensive it is and as a student once in a while you have to eat out as you may not have time to cook! Overall I love columbia and new york is so so good, the fact that we not in NYU area is even very important for me as it enables me to kind of step out of NYC and then going there when I want!

Enjoy your stay were you are!

[Eisenmann]

I didn't read all the replies, but my suggestion would be to wait a little longer. Maybe you are still new and haven't really learned the area of develop a close group of friends. I think that at any prestigious university, the reply of why people chose it is "its x". Everyone that I know said "It's Columbia!"

As a Columbia student, I can say that while Columbia is great, it's actually not too much different from my undergrad institution; in fact, I had a lot more fun and enjoyed my time there more. I am also new (lived in NYC for about 1.5 months now) and am still finding a group of friends to do stuff with.

The school is what you make of it! I will be able to answer general questions about the school or the city, but I'm still new too so I may not know.