fenderpete Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 I know this is kind of the antithesis of the 'On a lighter note' thread, but I'm feeling pretty downcast about my chances at the minute. I had a scholarship interview on Saturday that I thought had gone really well, which would have made me a shoo-in for the program at UPenn but I heard yesterday that another guy has already been offered a place on it. I still haven't heard anything so I'm assuming that's a pretty bad sign. That basically means I'm down to my 5 applications, to pretty much the most prestigious places I could have applied to, with only a 1300 GRE, no Masters to back me up and no more than a few months of relevant work experience. That coupled with the grim news about PoliSci grad applications being down has left me feeling like it's pretty much a certainty I'm not going to get offered anything else... This has left me feeling pretty unmotivated for my current dissertation and uni work, and extremely unsure about what I should even do in the future Sorry for the extremely negative venting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinyboss Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Don't get too discouraged about someone else's acceptance to your program. I don't think it's common at most places to send out all acceptances simultaneously (though maybe some places do). Maybe that other guy was extraordinary, or maybe they just happened to schedule his interview first. Don't assume you're out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonights Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Oh, I definitely feel like I'm going to be rejected across the board. My discouragement has been a bit worse since I took a look at the GRE polls. Now, I'm in a field where theoretically not a lot of emphasis is placed on the GRE, but really. If they have an applicant as qualified as I am AND who isn't disabled at math, they're obviously not going to pick me. I already told my SO that we should think of alternate plans for next year... culinary school, maybe? :cry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
t_ruth Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 I'm feeling very apprehensive. My numbers are ok, but there are a million other reasons someone else might get chosen over me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IvyHope Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Don't bother with these GRE polls. ETS posts distributions on their website- you just have to dig a bit. They even break them down by field. Those are much more accurate than these, which tend to be answered by only bright shining stars. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ridgey Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Yeah, complete rejection is feeling like a very real possibility right now. Rationally, I know these applications aren't reflective of my worth as a person. I'm confident that if I have to apply next year I'll be far more competitive, and my plan B is reasonably appealing. But the rational thoughts give way frequently to pessimism, and trying to ready myself for dissappointment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonights Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 But the rational thoughts give way frequently to pessimism, and trying to ready myself for disappointment. That's part of it. I'm steeling myself because I know eight rejections (or nine, if I get this last one in) are going to be a really big blow to my self-worth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gadhelyn Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 I feel negative, and only due to bad gpa (which can easily be explained by having worked 25-30 hours a week as an undergrad) For life science averages, my GRE scores are at least 100 points above normal on Q and V. I'm just worried they'd see the GPA and toss it into the trash before they see the rest. That's what a lot of people at a job fair my senior year did. Asked me my GPA then said "Sorry, nothing for you", not even wanting to hear about my time in the lab. Their loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ridgey Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 That's part of it. I'm steeling myself because I know eight rejections (or nine, if I get this last one in) are going to be a really big blow to my self-worth. Yup. I'd be interested - or maybe scared more - to know how many people don't get in anywhere. On these and other forums it seems rare, but I suspect that could be the self worth thing - to admit to across the board rejection publicly (if anonymously) when everyone else is excited about their options... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ridgey Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Asked me my GPA then said "Sorry, nothing for you", not even wanting to hear about my time in the lab. Their loss. Exactly! But sometimes that perspective is difficult to maintain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonights Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 I would feel comfortable telling this board if I got rejected everywhere. I think I would feel less embarrassed to tell the people here than I would feel telling people who aren't personally invested in the process. I'm seventy points below the math mean for my field.... but I'm a hundred and thirty points ABOVE the verbal. I already emailed department chairs to ask about this and was told that it was by no means a dealbreaker, but I can't help but think about it at night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gadhelyn Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Exactly! But sometimes that perspective is difficult to maintain. It was pretty easy for the first day after those denials, in which I was cursing them incessantly. Idiots. Applying to grad school does nothing good for self esteem, huh? Normally I'm absolutely sure in my abilities and the boundries of what I can do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sabana15 Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 I feel like I keep swinging between blind optimism (of course I'll get in! i have great letters!) to full-on despondency (yeah, letters from unknown professors at a small liberal arts college!!). I'm afraid to check up on my department websites to see what else is going on--what if I get my hopes up? or dashed? Found the statement below from http://www.poliscijobrumors.com/topic.p ... 064&page=2 I did this a bit--to see what students are studying, but I didn't think about this angle. Now I'm worried if I look back, I'll see my interests are being phased out Side note: at least at my department, it's not a bad idea to look at the "Current Graduate Students"-type website and get a feel for the current distribution (across fields) of grad students. If it's a department where the ratio of %grad student in your field/% faculty in your field is out of whack, it could increase or decrease your chances there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adaptations Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Well, this is certainly the time of year when people start to fret. Unfortunately - it is going to get worse. By mid February some people will be hearing, others will know nothing, and no matter who you are, there will be things to worry about. My two cents of advice is, start thinking of a plan B that is actually appealing. At the very least it gives you something else to devote some time to and it provides you with a fall back. Then when the notices start coming you will either 1) be very happy you had a plan B if things don't go well, or 2) can laugh at yourself for wasting time on plan B because you just got into grad school. Either way, it doesn't hurt to start working on a backup now that applications are done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gadhelyn Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 What's a normal student to faculty ratio, then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAPoliSciPhD Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 I don't get this whole plan B thing. Is it really that easy for people to come up with a change in career motivation?? bc I can't - and I've been trying AND I worked after college for a couple years trying to figure it out then and this is what I found out I wanted to do so the negative thing, yes, I feel it -- I just need to find god maybe? start praying? I just need to ONE freaking acceptance (w funding of course). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonights Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 No, CAPoliSci, it's not easy at all. But at the same time, making up Plan B scenarios is a helluva lot easier than facing a black void if we get rejected, I suppose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BruBru Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 I am also going through these negative spells as of late. In fact, late last week I actually convinced myself I was going to throw a couple more applications at bottom-tier masters programs (just in case all of my PhD applications didn't work out). I went to my academic adviser to inquire about the possibility of getting him to submit more letters on my behalf. I simply got a puzzled look from him and he told me it was a waste of time and to wait on my current applications. It was nice to have someone tell you that the stress is driving you crazy and you simply need to calm down. So to everyone.... you're crazy, calm the hell down already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saritapie Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 I feel like I keep swinging between blind optimism (of course I'll get in! i have great letters!) to full-on despondency (yeah, letters from unknown professors at a small liberal arts college!!). Exactly. (Though I did not go to a small liberal arts college-- or at least, I did not go to one long enough to have sought letters from professors there.) Especially with... Well, let's call it "School 1," because it was the first one I decided to apply to. For a few weeks I thought I had a decent shot at School 1; now I am basically convinced that I will be rejected outright. Occasionally, however, I think about my letters and my test scores and the fact that I have done some neat things over the last few years, and I decide that I am brilliant and wonderful and so of course they will love me!!! These bursts of utterly unfounded optimism usually last a few hours, after which point I tend to start panicking about School 2. My best overall application was my application to School 2, I know people in the department, and virtually every conversation I have had with faculty members there has been energetic and positive. I would love to go to School 2, and I have a hard time imagining that I would choose not to go if I were accepted with a good funding package. Most of the time I think I'll get in, but on those rare occasions when I begin to think that School 1 will definitely accept me, I start wondering what will happen if I get into both School 1 and School 2. Then I freak out. As I am freaking out about the prospect of having to choose between School 1 and School 2, I realize that I am soliciting a divine bitch-slap for arrogance and I remind myself, double-time, that there is no way in hell I'll get into School 1. And then I go, "If I am so obviously unqualified for School 1, why do I think I'll get into School 2?!" As for School 3, I decided to apply there late in the game, and based on my communications with faculty members there and the wording of the really disfunctional online application, there also seem to be a lot of logistical barriers lodged firmly between me and any decent funding package. Since I do not believe I will get money from School 3 and I will not go to graduate school without money, School 3 is kind of off the radar. Which is for the best, really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boz Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Something that I did to help assuage the serious doubts that I was having about my chances is this: I made a list of all the different elements of my application (GPA, GREs, WS, SoP, LoRs, awards/honors, etc.) and organized them into a three categories, "Positive," "Neutral," and "Negative." Lo and behold, I found that I had a lot of "Positive" things going for me, including little things that I had overlooked in my pessimistic state: for example, I have a very strong foreign language background, which isn't a requirement to be admitted to PhD programs for English, but shows that I already have skills that all PhD candidates will ultimately need. So, remembering this detail gave me a little confidence boost that I needed. I was also able to see beyond my narrow perfectionist tendencies and put my GRE Subject Test score (a good-but-not-great 660, 86th percentile), which has been plaguing me forever, in the "Neutral" category, along with two other things. Finally, I took my embarrassingly low GRE Writing score and stuck that one down under "Negative," along with another potential liability. Anyway, the point is that this simple exercise helped really helped me to put things in perspective. After I was finished, I could see how the good qualities outweighed the bad and realized that I hadn't been giving myself enough credit. I think that being able to confront my demons also enabled me to view them in a realistic, rational light, rather than a distorted, pessimistic one. I feel better now, not because I proved that I'm the perfect candidate, but rather because I know that I'm still a strong candidate in spite of it all. Ok, so, I hope that this helps other people as well . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
void Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 This process is horrible. I am convinced I will rejected across the board from low GRE scores and no publications... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gadhelyn Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 It might help me to be more positive if my job were more positive nowadays. There's politics, in-fighting, passive aggressiveness, and the boss has me running more experiments than his post-docs, but without a clear cut hypothesis to work towards (we're doing "discovery" research, meaning he has a general idea of what he's looking for, won't give me details, and wants to see if he can pick a pattern from random data). That combined with trying to get myself to control my eating so I could lose 50 lbs and worrying over whether I'll be trashed outright just because of my GPA is causing me to be one unhappy gadhelyn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAPoliSciPhD Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 You know I've taken up running again. I'm not really sure why, but I really think it's because of this process. It's just like I need to run as fast and as far as I can to try to forget about this crap for a little while, but inevitably, I even worry about it as I run. I really wish I could be one of those people who just submitted their applications and never thought about them after that because this worrying is absolutely pointless --- and I realize that. Worse than that - it's distracting me from other areas of my life I need to be focusing on right now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saritapie Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 Worse than that - it's distracting me from other areas of my life I need to be focusing on right now! Yeah, like finishing my master's thesis. Because they probably want me to have that degree wrapped up before I start the next one... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenderpete Posted January 21, 2009 Author Share Posted January 21, 2009 Sorry this seems to have struck a chord with everybody - I was thinking it would just be me experiencing this funk. I think I can most identify with the idea that I've spent so long determining what it is that I want to do, and how to achieve it, that now any second order preference seems to pale in comparison. Even though I know if I didn't get in this year it wouldn't make much sense to just give up, I'm not sure I could put myself through the emotional turmoil of going through all this again (including inevitably trying to better my GRE scores). The thought of 'wasting' a year out to get more experience when a PhD is already going to take a minimum of five years is just too much to bear... I'm really praying now that someone at Princeton, Stanford or Penn has somehow (against seemingly insurmountable odds) taken a shine to my application and will offer me some funding and a spot... If they don't I'm going to find it extremely hard to motivate myself not to slip into a complete funk that leads to my current degree tanking without something positive to work towards It's taking a lot of self-control not to email my programs and ask to be put out of my misery now :cry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now