First-name Basis?

[earlyamerican]

OK, this whole thread cracks me up. True story:

Back when my senior honors cohort was beginning the sequence of seminars for our theses with our beloved department advisor (BDA), one student asked the rest of us what we called the BDA. Turns out we were all super confused & awkward. None of us could think of a single time that he had actually introduced himself at the start of one of our classes, thereby cuing us.

We started breaking it down. We knew the following things:

1. Other faculty AND staff called him by his first name, which is actually a common nickname for his real first name

2. One of us had called him by his first name once, and was not corrected, though the student felt weird about it

3. He signs all his emails very warmly but with only his initials

4. The initials he uses on those emails are the initials of his full first name, not the nickname.

5. Our university's culture was such that only the most arrogant blowhard profs would demand that they be addressed as Prof X, and nobody really went by Dr. X.

6. Our BDA was no blowhard, yet had his share of sensitivities.

7. Here's the catch: he was a senior lecturer, not TT, though he frequently ran the department and has been there since the 70s. So not actually technically a "Professor." We were wise enough as undergrads to allow for the fact that this may be a sore spot.

It's like a freaking LSAT logic problem, is it not? We spent most of an hour one night discussing this!

I took the strategy of trying to use his name as infrequently as possible, but I have stuck with Professor Lastname. Years later, I figure it's a term of endearment. It still cracks me up because even now, when writing emails, I have to pause to consider whether to issue the "Professor" treatment or to just skip it. If I'm replying to an ongoing thread, I skip it. If I haven't written in a while, or he hasn't, I bring on the Prof.

All this complicated BS and he probably doesn't even care or notice.

[psycholinguist]

I took the strategy of trying to use his name as infrequently as possible, but I have stuck with Professor Lastname. Years later, I figure it's a term of endearment. It still cracks me up because even now, when writing emails, I have to pause to consider whether to issue the "Professor" treatment or to just skip it. If I'm replying to an ongoing thread, I skip it. If I haven't written in a while, or he hasn't, I bring on the Prof.

All this complicated BS and he probably doesn't even care or notice.

Heh. Yeah, probably not. If they've been teaching for years and years, they've probably been called all sorts of things. (I'm reminded of this comic.)

Personally, I default to 'Dr. X' when I haven't met the person, 'Prof. Y' when I have, and...well, actually, I still can't get comfortable with the idea of calling a professor by his or her first name. Maybe it's thanks to having gone to a really uptight private high school, where it seemed weird even to know that the teachers HAD first names.

[katanianQ]

I too am only a few years older than my students.. they call me prof. katanianQ, although some have called me ms. katanianQ in the past and I don't really care.

It's when I'm called "Miss" that really pisses me off.. it's an issue of respect then.

"MISS.... did we have reading to do?"

"MISS.... did we do anything important today?"

"MISS.... this is so boring."

If I can learn 135 names, you can learn mine.

[socialpsych]

This morning, I had to write an email to two professors. I had forgotten that addressing such emails is even more difficult than addressing an email to ONE prof! Is it, "Hi Professor X and Professor Y"? "Hi Professors"? or just "Hi"??

I ended up going with "Hi Professors," but it still sounds awkward to me! :roll:

[t_ruth]

It's when I'm called "Miss" that really pisses me off.. it's an issue of respect then.

yep, this would piss me off too. What do you say to them?

[katanianQ]

yep, this would piss me off too. What do you say to them?

I just say, 'my name isn't miss. my name has 4 letters. I take the time to learn all of your names so please use mine.'

[guenevere01]

Hey katanian, that used to really irk me, too, but then I realized why most of my students do it. Many of the kids I teach are bilingual with Spanish as their first language, and in Spanish it's quite respectful to call people "Senorita" or "Senora", which translates directly into English as "Miss." I don't know if your kids are Hispanic or perhaps just influenced by Hispanic culture or neither, but it's much less offensive when you think about the origins of the phenomenon. Not to say that they shouldn't learn that in English "Miss" sounds disrespectful, though.

[workerparasite]

Regarding addressing emails, I usually try to follow the cues of how they're signed by the professor, as others here have said. What I find useful (and had a British-educated, prim and proper professor suggest when I was contacting people under her supervision) is to start off by addressing them as "Prof. X" and if/when they sign an email with their first name reply with "Dear Bob (if I may),". I've had a few go back to signing emails "Prof. X" indicating that I may not, but I don't think I've ever caused offence.

Then again a lot of these people are Canadian and at smaller institutions, so your results may vary.

[chuck_b]

Yea, its never a bad idea to just stay formal unless THEY tell you to call them by their first name.

Even if they sign their email as -John or something rather than Dr.Smith or Prof. Smith, I would say stay safe and address them with a title.

I've had one professor who always said, call me by my first name lol and I never did because I found it sooo weird to do so. He ended up writing in a rec (not for grad school, for something else), that I am a very polite person haha =)

Also, I'm working in a lab where all the grad students call the prof by his first name, but to me it still feels weird. I could never do it. I think its also how I was brought up, since in my culture respect to elders is pretty big ...