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earlyamerican

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    History/Am Stud PhD

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  1. Oh, wow. I had the shittiest day with sick and abused kids and this was such a thrilling series of posts to read through. Will one of you forward me the list of emails? That being said, I'm pretty horrified to have been googled. I don't know what's up there currently but I know what's come up for my name in the past and I'm groaning. Please, for the love of god, ignore the friendster profile. I've grown since then. I should take that shit down. I want to level the playing field by google stalking you all, though I know I'm only going to find intimidatingly impressive stuff. I for one would be THRILLED to have a non-academic writing workshop. One of the things that kills me about leaving the Bay Area would be losing proximity to my regular workshop and assorted writer friends. Not that I've written much besides applications or emails lately, but I really do want to get some of my fiction polished up and sent out. I'll be in the Boston/Cambridge area from April 1-7. I'm married, all legal & shit, because the chromosomes worked out favorably that way and it's nice to have state-to-state portability of health care benefits. Of course, at the time, same sex marriage was legal in CA. I still have so much rage over prop 8 it's unhealthy. I don't even believe marriage should be a state matter, but, well, fuck me, every woman's life is a series of capitulations. Depressing enough? Sorry - I should say I'm very happy and very grateful to have such a supportive partner, but believe me, I'm as surprised as anyone that he turned out to be male. I totally have "hasbian" guilt. Now I teach kids whose families were actually out campaigning FOR prop 8. Remember all that reductionist noise about black vs. gay in the aftermath of Prop 8? I have to check myself HARD to not take it there while at the same time checking the students on their inexcusably homophobic shit. WTF do you do when one of your sixth graders gets suspended for beating the shit out of a girl who accused my girl's father of sucking dick? What do you do when her grandmother is telling her that was the right thing to do? Can't we just do some pre-algebra and have a snack? No? Damn. So there, MM, I can be all self-disclosey too. Among peers. I've been teaching K-college students in some form for a long time so I've got nice healthy boundaries, thanks. BTW, you should find ZZ Packer's "Drinking Coffee Elsewhere," which is also the title of the book that story is in. It's based on Yale, and though I didn't go there, it's the only story I've ever found that puts the finger on the sense of comprehensive alienation I felt as an undergraduate. You'll love it. I got to take a class with her and she's got one of those minds that works so fast it's startling. And in terms of incestuousness: please. Aren't all academics some serious gossip freaks? I supposed there are those who aren't, but last week I heard a tidbit of new info about my beloved undergrad advisor from someone who knew him well 20 years ago and the first thing I thought of was how I had to tell the other people I graduated with. I like to think of this as a sign of our fondness for him, but it's another reminder of how you gotta keep your personal shit close or else an entire field will know your business. I'd like to declare that your personal shit is safe with me, despite my clear penchant for gossip. I already feel a bond with you all. GoodGuy, if you're wearing Timberlands and Levis, you could probably use some bells. And feathers. I don't know what your scene is like but in San Francisco you sound more like the lesbians I know than the gay boys.
  2. MM, that is some fascinating biography there. I've heard the same thing about the east coast: You can be straight or you can be gay and everyone's OK with that, but you better not start busting up those categories any further or everyone freaks out. Sad. I wonder, though, how much that has to do with class and the political assimilation of same sex couples into middle class consumerdom, ie, "hey if they own a house and drive a minivan teh gayz can't be that bad, right?" Seems it's the working class or already-disenfranchised who find room for the more fluid practices and expressions of the big drag show of life called gender. But that raises the question: what queer working-class communities, assuming they are defined and findable, are going to welcome a hotshot from Harvard? You can be screwed every day of your life but you kind of stop being able to claim that when you wear a tag of privilege as big and blingy as that, you know? I mean, I wrestle with the same stuff. I step into the room and I *feel* the difference between me and the well-bred, even if I can't always name exactly why. I think I've interrogated all the personal psychological reasons there can be for feeling different, yet it remains. I'm not a big fan of identity politics per se, reasons being that it collapses experience into sets of categories when identity is entirely contingent, always contextual, and the most politically radical thing about it is that it mutates all the time. But the California mellow ethos can cover up some serious ignorance and deadly violence, too. Don't forget Prop 8 passed here, and Gwen Aruajo lived just a couple cities south of Berkeley. GoodGuy, I was pretty surprised when Mark mentioned he knew someone also. I figured it had to be you when he mentioned you were looking at Af-Am at Berkeley, because I remembered that from here and didn't think there could be two with those interests in those schools. I said, "Oh, I may be conversing with him on the internet!" You're a friend of his from growing up, right? You know he was the TA in one of my first history classes. I really sucked but I got better, thanks in large part to Mark being so awesome and giving comments that actually showed me how I was supposed to write an academic argument. Thankfully he didn't hold that against me. Honestly, kfed? That's the biggest strike against Harvard. Some of those pre-law history majors are the most hideously obnoxious students. As you know, it's bad enough being in class with them. Teaching them does not sound like big fun. Where are you off to, kfed? I personally think it's a healthy thing for seniors to be a little jaded about their college. You've grown beyond needing an institution to provide for your every physical, intellectual, and social need. ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR YEAR! I have fond memories of playing frisbee golf all over campus with beers and my friends after our theses were turned in. I say we buy kfed a beer when we're there. Every time I wonder if I've chosen the right profession, somebody mentions drinking, and then I know I'm in the right place. I think April may get off to a sloppy start.
  3. No. You could say it was like Goddard's asshole little brother who smoked too much weed and skipped exams and got arrested a couple times even though he was pretty smart and should have known better.
  4. Oh, hottt. Not to go all Paris Hilton on you. I did my MFA at a fantastic but now-defunct little utopia so queer even the straight people were suspiciously gay. I've been so far from the worlds of generational privilege and hifalutin' pedigrees for so long that when I went to Berkeley's visit day for history, I had a minor internal freak-out when I walked in and the whole room was filled with white people, many of whom had that "aspiring investment banker" look about them (bad haircuts, worse suits, you know the drill). I definitely spent a good ten minutes asking myself if I really wanted to be part of this again, do I really want to do this to myself, etc. Once everyone calmed down a bit, almost everyone turned out to be lovely and generous and fascinating. I have all these (mis?)perceptions about the squareness and rigidity of the East Coast and its inhabitants, so it's great to know that it'll still be possible to be among those living (rather than just talking about) the binary-defying life.
  5. Yeah! I'm writing him back right now. This is so exciting! Everyone sounds fascinating. GG, Mark mentioned just a couple things about you and I know I'm impressed and intrigued. Seems like Am Civ has really gone for the non-traditional types, which I know I appreciate. MM, I'm a woman also, so you wouldn't be substantially outnumbered at Harvard. If it's possible to be substantially outnumbered by four people. I can't wait to visit. Most of the time I feel like the decision is just making sure my husband and I can check the place out and feel good enough about living there that we can justify the move from the West Coast. This new form of waiting is also killing me, but I won't make a decision without seeing the place, and I've never been there before. Also, I've been playing phone tag with John Stauffer, and I finally realized who he sounds like: John Malkovich.
  6. GoodGuy! We know someone in common at Berkeley! I just got off the phone with Mark. Oh, damn, this is going to be fun, but this decision is just not clear at all.
  7. I say sell one car. One person drives, the other flies with the cats. If you absolutely need two cars, buy one in the new location. Are you trying to buy a house on top of this? That's actually probably genius if you can afford it, unless you're trying to sell one now. That sounds like the albatross of doom. How do you know if your cat is too big to fly under the seat? I'm worried ours is. I won't stick him in cargo - too many animals die that way and if you're flying in summer, even a 30 minute delay on the tarmac in hot weather could create life-threatening conditions in the hold. (Or, take a crack-of-dawn flight.) That being said, three long days of driving with a nervous cat who craps himself when stressed basically sounds like the end of the world. Fuzzy bastard. I can part with the fish, but the cat is family. Yes, I'm one of "those people." Also, I don't know if the airlines will let you buy an extra seat for a pet. I think they *have* to go under the seat.
  8. Psssst - Greek Historian: When checking out UCSB, if Prof Lee is someone you really really want to work with (and why wouldn't you? he's awesome), just make sure there's someone else there you would be happy working with in case he leaves. That's always true, and I'm not saying he will be or that he has plans to, but PM me if you need more info.
  9. I am. It's insane. The last time I moved across the country, it was for college, and my parents and I each took two suitcases - that was plenty. Now I have a husband, all the household goods bounty we were given for the wedding, and a truly gigantic cat. We're also basically broke, though if we make the Big Move it'll be for a very generous stipend. I've spent the day researching moving companies and decided there is really no way to move across the country. It's actually impossible, I think, without creating a glitch in the Matrix. Setting myself on fire sounds like more fun. It seems the only way to do it is to sell everything on Craigslist, and ship what we absolutely can't part with. The problem is the sofa we were given by my parents for our first anniversary. It's small, but it's not like you can put it in a box and ship it. He's not leaving a good job or anything, and we actually think there might be more opportunities for him in the new place, but how the hell do you do this? We're going to visit in a couple weeks and are trying to research like hell what informal interviews might be worth setting up. Then there's the apartment deal. I'm going to get up at the crack of dawn tomorrow and the next day and start calling the larger property management companies to see about how to set up getting in on August 1 or 15 move-in dates. I figure if I seem on the ball at this point, can show up to their office in person with a copy of my letter of financial support and a recommendation from my current landlord, they might overlook the fact that we've been marginally employed for the last year. Thanks, economy! If that doesn't work, we are truly screwed. I dread the idea of spending the first year of grad school jumping from sublet to sublet. What a nightmare.
  10. $30,000? Jeebus. That's more than Harvard's offering, and Florida's cheaper to live in. I'm old (and broke) enough to care about things like savings, and WOW.
  11. Hey kfed, that's good institutional knowledge, and I appreciate you sharing it with us.
  12. Probably reading and thinking we sound like arrogant assholes. I feel like an asshole, anyway. Who gets in to something like this? I'll be at Visit Day. I'm the mean old 2nd-wave-ish feminist. Actually, I'm so much fun that you won't think twice about chanting anti-patriarchy slogans with me at a dive bar at 2 in the morning. :wink:
  13. Oh, I need more coffee before posting on the internet. So there were only FIVE admitted to Harvard's Am Civ. I thought Yale's 8 or 9 was bad! I'm deciding between Harvard and Berkeley. I'll be at Visit Day and I'm hoping you guys are fun and nice, since that is one tiny cohort.
  14. Oh, cool - this is great. It's been so hard to get a sense of distances, but this puts it much more in perspective. Thanks.
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