Think your rejection sucks?

[Supernovasky]

I learned yesterday I was rejected from UT-Austin. UT-Austin was my top choice, because it is where my girlfriend just learned she got her new job at. We've been together for a year now.

This one hurts. It means that not only did I not get into UT-Austin (and probably won't get into Ann Arbor either, considering that Ann Arbor is MORE competitive than Austin), but it means that I'll be living quite far away from her for 5 years, and pretty much means that we are breaking up this coming weekend when she moves.

I'm having second thoughts as to whether any professor at UC Boulder shares a dime in my research interests.

I feel like Wash-Seattle is my last, best hope, its got the biggest quantitative Socio department, but Seattle is, from what I'm told, just as hard to get into and selective as Austin.

I'm now worried I won't get into ANY schools but LSU, my state school, in which case, I might take another year, work, figure something else out to do, and apply again.

[Ameonna]

Just because the other universities you applied to are just as or more competitive than UT-Austin DOES NOT mean that you will automatically be rejected from them; there are a lot of factors that go into admission decisions, and from what I've heard, these decisions can ultimately become quite subjective. You never know who in these departments might take a liking to your applicant profile, so don't consider yourself down for the count just yet. Rejections are tough, ESPECIALLY when they come with such a terrible consequence as having to say goodbye to someone you love. Don't lose hope, though!

[Supernovasky]

Just because the other universities you applied to are just as or more competitive than UT-Austin DOES NOT mean that you will automatically be rejected from them; there are a lot of factors that go into admission decisions, and from what I've heard, these decisions can ultimately become quite subjective. You never know who in these departments might take a liking to your applicant profile, so don't consider yourself down for the count just yet. Rejections are tough, ESPECIALLY when they come with such a terrible consequence as having to say goodbye to someone you love. Don't lose hope, though!

Thanks for the positivity, I really appreciate it. I hope that its just a case of the school not being a good fit rather than me not being a good applicant.

[kbeckenrode]

xoxo i'mm sorry :(

[Helpplease123]

it means that I'll be living quite far away from her for 5 years, and pretty much means that we are breaking up this coming weekend when she moves.

Why do you have to break up? LSU wouldn't be far at all if you decided to go there and if you don't get in anywhere you can just go work there for a year and try again for UT-Austin. Anyway, many people live very far away from boyfriends/girlfriends (myself included) and it sucks but you can make it work if you want to...so, am very sorry to hear you didn't get into UT-Austin this year but don't give up on your relationship just yet!

[Supernovasky]

Why do you have to break up? LSU wouldn't be far at all if you decided to go there and if you don't get in anywhere you can just go work there for a year and try again for UT-Austin. Anyway, many people live very far away from boyfriends/girlfriends (myself included) and it sucks but you can make it work if you want to...so, am very sorry to hear you didn't get into UT-Austin this year but don't give up on your relationship just yet!

Austin is 8 hours away from LSU... and I really don't want to go to LSU. I suppose if I'm forced to, I will, but I would find that distance of a relationship very hard to maintain. I'm not saying its impossible, but very hard...

[Helpplease123]

Austin is 8 hours away from LSU... and I really don't want to go to LSU. I suppose if I'm forced to, I will, but I would find that distance of a relationship very hard to maintain. I'm not saying its impossible, but very hard...

Well only you know what's best for you but if it helps...i'm (unexpectedly to top it off!) living through LA - London with no money on either side to visit for the next 4 months (over 2 months already done) and a guaranteed 4 hour minimum distance (much more likely more) for 2 years at the end of this 6 months due to my grad school locations. I know lots of relationships that have survived this kind of stuff, my only suggestion would be just wait and see what happens, don't preemptively break up!

[Grunty DaGnome]

I learned yesterday I was rejected from UT-Austin. UT-Austin was my top choice, because it is where my girlfriend just learned she got her new job at. We've been together for a year now.

This one hurts. It means that not only did I not get into UT-Austin (and probably won't get into Ann Arbor either, considering that Ann Arbor is MORE competitive than Austin), but it means that I'll be living quite far away from her for 5 years, and pretty much means that we are breaking up this coming weekend when she moves.

I'm having second thoughts as to whether any professor at UC Boulder shares a dime in my research interests.

I feel like Wash-Seattle is my last, best hope, its got the biggest quantitative Socio department, but Seattle is, from what I'm told, just as hard to get into and selective as Austin.

I'm now worried I won't get into ANY schools but LSU, my state school, in which case, I might take another year, work, figure something else out to do, and apply again.

Some programs let spouses of employees earn an MA for free. Maybe you guys shouldn't break up. Maybe you should get married instead! [Check UTs policy first, of course.]

[Andsowego]

Austin is 8 hours away from LSU... and I really don't want to go to LSU. I suppose if I'm forced to, I will, but I would find that distance of a relationship very hard to maintain. I'm not saying its impossible, but very hard...

First, I'm really sorry to hear about your rejection. But don't lose faith in the other options! You never know what amazing opportunities might just show up in an offer of acceptance elsewhere.

However, this "having to break-up" thing is a really immature reaction. 8 hours to drive? That's NOTHING. You leave your house at 9am, you're on a dinner date with your sweetie that night, followed by weekend fun times! Just be glad you don't have an 8-hour flight or an entire ocean between you! Longer-distance relationships can be tricky, yes, but they also have the potential to be really wonderful. You'll find yourself appreciating your time with your partner more, and you'll make more time for positivity and fun when you do have time together. It's a challenge, no doubt, but it's also incredibly rewarding and will help strengthen your relationship moving forward (and if not, it's not the right relationship anyway!).

[Supernovasky]

I think I could manage an LSU --- Austin long distance relationship, but that would about cut it. If I went to Boulder, Ann Arbor, or Seattle, that would push things for me, as neither of us would really have the funds to visit each other and we'd be doing our own thing in our own cities for 5 years...

[Eigen]

LSU to Austin isn't 8 hours, it's more like 6.5 or 7.

New Orleans to Austin is a pretty easy 8 hour drive.

Also, don't discount the ability to fly cheaply. A direct flight from Boulder to Austin only costs about $200 round trip- and once you start building up bonus miles, it gets cheaper. I've got friends that are doing New Orleans to California, New Orleans to Ohio, New Orleans to New Jersey relationships, and they make them work pretty well. Flights between major cities are such that you can afford them once ever 3 months or so if you save around it, and if each of you do that every 3 months, you only have 6 weeks between visits. Just make the visits count, and skype, call and e-mail.

Edited January 26, 2012 by Eigen

[OnceAndFutureGrad]

If you feel like you can't handle a LDR, then you can't. If you feel like you can, then you can try. It's as easy as that. My now-fiance and I were an ocean, then over an hour, then several hours apart over the past four years. Now we live together. If I get into grad school, I'll again be several hours from him, but that's the way it is. We make it work because the rest of our lives are more important than "the right now". Not every relationship is marriage material and not every person is looking to make that sort of sacrifice, especially at this age (presuming the typical early-mid-20s grad school applicant age). But if you want to make it happen, you can. The possibility and success of an LDR - heck, any relationship - depends on the people involved, not the circumstances surrounding them.

[BrazilianGuy]

Why don't you first wait to see where you get into?

You'll make a better decision with more information on your hands.

Maybe your GF can find a new job next year at the city you are attending your PhD program.

Assuming that getting into a PhD is harder than finding a job, you should talk to her and plan together your joint strategy on different scenarios (specially now that you know that you're not going to UT-Austin).

Good luck.

[cacao to cacao]

team work makes dreams work.

I learned yesterday I was rejected from UT-Austin. UT-Austin was my top choice, because it is where my girlfriend just learned she got her new job at. We've been together for a year now.

This one hurts. It means that not only did I not get into UT-Austin (and probably won't get into Ann Arbor either, considering that Ann Arbor is MORE competitive than Austin), but it means that I'll be living quite far away from her for 5 years, and pretty much means that we are breaking up this coming weekend when she moves.

I'm having second thoughts as to whether any professor at UC Boulder shares a dime in my research interests.

I feel like Wash-Seattle is my last, best hope, its got the biggest quantitative Socio department, but Seattle is, from what I'm told, just as hard to get into and selective as Austin.

I'm now worried I won't get into ANY schools but LSU, my state school, in which case, I might take another year, work, figure something else out to do, and apply again.

if your heart is telling you to hang on~ HANG ON. doesn't necessarily mean you guys need to hard core break up. if you're in love with each other you'll find a way to work it out.

TEAM WORK MAKES DREAMS WORK.

[Supernovasky]

Thanks guys.

I have a lot on my plate right now with absolutely no right answer, unfortunately.

[BrazilianGuy]

Thanks guys.

I have a lot on my plate right now with absolutely no right answer, unfortunately.

That's it! Get all information you can get (especially where you're accepted) and only then sit down with your GF and analyze together the whole picture.

Good luck.

[DoggieMom]

Austin is 8 hours away from LSU... and I really don't want to go to LSU. I suppose if I'm forced to, I will, but I would find that distance of a relationship very hard to maintain. I'm not saying its impossible, but very hard...

Sometimes a LDR is a good thing while in grad school. Less guilt over being apart while studying = more focus in school. Then when you do visit each other, the time is cherished even more. Just something to think about.

[Athenrein]

I'll be in an LDR with my boyfriend of 4 years once I start school (assuming I get in, but that's a different thread). He's going to school too, but he's staying here in Florida, at least for the next couple of years. After he finishes his bachelor's degree he's probably going to go to med school, so that's another seven years. Maybe I'll be able to find a job wherever he ends up doing his residency, but that's not guaranteed.

It's going to suck sometimes, but I also think it'll make our relationship stronger. We've lived together for a while, and I think we tend to take each other for granted. We'll both be really busy with school, and we'll make the most of our visits. We both play games online, so we'll definitely be having game dates. I'm optimistic about it.