Paranoia Creeping Up On Me...

[CarlieE]

Hi All,

So I got accepted into my #1 choice (Yayy!) and I accepted already via the online system... yet I still get freaked out and am paranoid that this wonderful opportunity is somehow going to slip away from me. I get gripped by this irrational fear that they've somehow made a mistake and when I move there and show up in the Fall they'll look at me and say.... "Uhm... We made a mistake..."

I know this is completely insane and irrational. In fact, since getting accepted I've emailed my POI and gotten responses back.

I guess I just want some sympathy or comfort in the knowledge that I am not the only one who wakes up in a cold sweat. Perhaps the aftermath of the interview and this whole process is still messing up my brain. Or it got fried in the process and my hard drive is permanently destroyed

[Mal83]

This whole thing is a very stressful process from the moment you decide you want to go to grad school until the moment you're accepted and ALSO settled in to the routine. So it's not so irrational that you're still on edge. Have you started getting anything in the mail or in emails from the school yet about starting the enrollment process? Once that happens you'll have no reason to even think about it anymore. I never woke up in cold sweat I don't think, but I did have some pretty vivid dreams during the process. But you made it in...it's not a mistake, congrats! I wish I had received my acceptance to my current school in February, I feel like I lost a year off my life during the months of February, March, and April.

[CarlieE]

Thanks Mal83 ...I got the email telling me where to make my official online acceptance, so I did do that.. but nothing since.. I appreciate knowing it's not just me.

[emmm]

Umm . . . I'm very sorry to have to tell you this, but those feelings might not go away, even when you're on campus sitting in classes. I still can't believe I'm in and doing what I want to do. And I'm sure I'm going to flunk out or somehow someone's going to realize they really meant to take someone else . . . I just try to ignore these feelings as best I can. I guess it's a mild form of imposter syndrome, which is apparently very common. I never had it in college, but I was pretty insecure about my chances of getting in as a non-traditional applicant, so I'm guessing that's where these feelings are coming from.

[NewScientist12]

I've often finished exams thinking I got a C only to find out later that it was an A. When I first saw my GRE scores, I thought the computer had made an error. When I received an offer into a top program, I thought they were extending me some kind of sympathy. We really beat ourselves up over nothing! One of my undergraduate advisers says that she had similar thoughts throughout her training and still has them as a prof (at an R1). I suspect these feelings will continue to follow us around (paranoia-alert), but if you find a way to counteract them, I'd love to know!

[CarlieE]

I got an email from my current UG dept office - I had applied to my UG uni's terminal MA program as my "safety school" - and they wanted to know if I had already accepted at this other place because they are making decisions this week. I hadn't officially withdrawn my application from my "safety school" but since I am attending there now as a UG, all the faculty knows where I got accepted. We're very familial.

Anyway, that email got me all in a tizzy again so I went to the online application where I had made my acceptance to the PhD program (to double check) I got accepted into and my acceptance letter was gone!! I couldn't tell what had happened. So I emailed the graduate office and they were so nice. They shot me back an email that basically said, "Don't worry. We got your acceptance and you are locked in. Now, breathe. Deep. That's a good lass." *pat*pat* LOL

You guys are all right. We will never be completely free of these feelings of inadequacy or worry. Maybe that kind of "perfectionism" will make us good scholars.

[contretemps]

The scenario you are talking about actually happened to me last year. 2 weeks before my flight, the graduate coordinator told me that they are retracting my admission and scholarship. It put me in a shock for weeks but I think things happen for a reason. Now I got accepted in a MUCH MUCH better school so it's all good.

But then again, I'm also becoming paranoid that this opportunity will slip away from my hands again.

[Timshel]

The scenario you are talking about actually happened to me last year. 2 weeks before my flight, the graduate coordinator told me that they are retracting my admission and scholarship. It put me in a shock for weeks but I think things happen for a reason. Now I got accepted in a MUCH MUCH better school so it's all good.

But then again, I'm also becoming paranoid that this opportunity will slip away from my hands again.

What???? Why did they take back your offer? That is terrifying!

[CarlieE]

The scenario you are talking about actually happened to me last year. 2 weeks before my flight, the graduate coordinator told me that they are retracting my admission and scholarship. It put me in a shock for weeks but I think things happen for a reason. Now I got accepted in a MUCH MUCH better school so it's all good. But then again, I'm also becoming paranoid that this opportunity will slip away from my hands again.

contretemps - Do you mind sharing some of the reasons why? Or rather, was it an error on their part? On what kind of grounds can they do that?

[koolherc]

The scenario you are talking about actually happened to me last year. 2 weeks before my flight, the graduate coordinator told me that they are retracting my admission and scholarship. It put me in a shock for weeks but I think things happen for a reason. Now I got accepted in a MUCH MUCH better school so it's all good. But then again, I'm also becoming paranoid that this opportunity will slip away from my hands again.

[Frostfire]

The scenario you are talking about actually happened to me last year. 2 weeks before my flight, the graduate coordinator told me that they are retracting my admission and scholarship. It put me in a shock for weeks but I think things happen for a reason. Now I got accepted in a MUCH MUCH better school so it's all good.

But then again, I'm also becoming paranoid that this opportunity will slip away from my hands again.

Holy fuckballs! And I thought this process couldn't get any worse ...

[coonskee]

The scenario you are talking about actually happened to me last year. 2 weeks before my flight, the graduate coordinator told me that they are retracting my admission and scholarship. It put me in a shock for weeks but I think things happen for a reason. Now I got accepted in a MUCH MUCH better school so it's all good.

But then again, I'm also becoming paranoid that this opportunity will slip away from my hands again.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I'm officially freaking out on the inside that this will happen to me too.

[contretemps]

This is in Germany. Apparently, my undergrad degree (I'm an international student) is not eligible for graduate studies. I lack 1-2 years of study or something. It was an error on their part; they shouldn't have accepted me and given me a scholarship if I wasn't eligible in the first place! And they only realized it 2 weeks before the start of classes. I have to tell you, the worst part is the unpacking of my bags.

[coffeeplease]

This is in Germany. Apparently, my undergrad degree (I'm an international student) is not eligible for graduate studies. I lack 1-2 years of study or something. It was an error on their part; they shouldn't have accepted me and given me a scholarship if I wasn't eligible in the first place! And they only realized it 2 weeks before the start of classes. I have to tell you, the worst part is the unpacking of my bags.

That's terrible. I know people who have had similar problems getting their secondary and post-secondary degrees recognized in Germany, but 2 weeks before the start of the semester??

[CarlieE]

This is in Germany. Apparently, my undergrad degree (I'm an international student) is not eligible for graduate studies. I lack 1-2 years of study or something. It was an error on their part; they shouldn't have accepted me and given me a scholarship if I wasn't eligible in the first place! And they only realized it 2 weeks before the start of classes. I have to tell you, the worst part is the unpacking of my bags.

Oh my gosh.. that is just awful... Was there any kind of recompense for this??? I just don't understand why overseas degrees aren't accredited the same way.. And how could they not know this when transcripts and all that are sent with applications? I'm so sorry contretemps.. so awful.. Fingers crossed for all of us that this won't happen...

[TakeruK]

From what I've heard, European PhD programs usually require a Masters degree. European undergraduate degrees are also often a 5 year BS + MS equivalent. So if you only have a 4 year BS from North America, usually that does not qualify you for graduate studies in Europe -- you need to do a 1-2 year MS program somewhere first!

So, unless you've applied to a European school, we can probably be safe from this happening! But that story is absolutely terrifying, and it's definitely the school's fault -- how can you accept someone, give them a scholarship and then take it all back 2 weeks before the program starts! ahhh!

[verdalantreas]

I also had such feelings when enrolling into my masters. Even when I arrived and saw that they had misspelled my name on a box with stuff for in my student housing, a feeling crept up to me that there might have been some error, and the guy with the other name was actually supposed to be admitted.

Anyway, all was fine, but yes, feeling like an imposter is something many people seem to have in good grad schools...

[Eddie Kant]

Lol, I feal you anthroDork. I got into my #1 school. Now that I'm haggling with them, I'm worried that I will somehow alienate them and cause them to revoke my admission offer. Bah.