family emergency before interview. advice please!

[NeurosciNerd]

I am leaving for one of my PhD interviews tomorrow. My dad had a stroke tonight. He's currently in the ICU. My family is insisting that I still attend my interview. Anyway, I know I won't interview well. Is it ok to tell my interviewers what happened? I don't want to ruin my chances because my mind is elsewhere, but I don't want them to think I'm making it up to get sympathy and help with getting accepted. I'm terrified that he will pass in the next few days, but I know my family wants me to pursue my dream no matter what.

[SCellNeuro]

I'm sorry . I would not mention though, unless you need to take a call, etc. If you think it's wise to go, then you just have to be strong.

[coonskee]

I'm so sorry for your father - he's in my thoughts and prayers.

I wouldn't mention it explicitly to interviewers, but if you may be stepping out for calls, I would advise you to tell the graduate secretary person, so she can pass on the information to your interviewer(s) before you get there, maybe?

[nicknameless]

I would definitely let the secretary know - even by email before you get there. Just say there has been an emergency with your immediate family, that you still want to interview, but wanted her to know/imform your interviewers that you may step out for calls. Some schools may also allow you to reschedule or do a Skype interview. In general, people are understanding - be honest and then show them that you can talk about your work. Profs should realize that you are mature enough to be applying for grad school and that this isn't "oh my grandmother died for the third time this year so can I get an extension on the final?" issue. I hope your father's condition improves - thoughts are with you and your family.

[jeenyus]

I am leaving for one of my PhD interviews tomorrow. My dad had a stroke tonight. He's currently in the ICU. My family is insisting that I still attend my interview. Anyway, I know I won't interview well. Is it ok to tell my interviewers what happened? I don't want to ruin my chances because my mind is elsewhere, but I don't want them to think I'm making it up to get sympathy and help with getting accepted. I'm terrified that he will pass in the next few days, but I know my family wants me to pursue my dream no matter what.

I'm really sorry to hear about your dad.

Remember you have options. I know you said your family is urging you to still attend but first I wanted to ask if this is this your first choice school? You mentioned "one of my interviews" so I'm assuming you have other options. If this is a school you are not strongly considering, why not spend this time with your dad?

If it is your dream program you could always reschedule or ask to have it via Skype, no? Either way I don't see anything wrong with telling the grad secretary or the graduate chair what happened. Life happens to all of us at one point or another, and this is a sad and unexpected event you have no control over. They will understand this. It doesn't make you look like you're looking for sympathy but rather can shed some light on you as a person and candidate. If you decide to attend it will show how committed you are to pursuing your academic goals despite huge personal struggles. If you do not go they will understand and will probably try to accommodate your situation.

Hope your dad recovers and that you find some peace during this difficult time.