What if I don't get in anywhere???

[Kbert]

Similar to the person below, the silence is killing me. I applied to 6 different PhD programs in anthropology, but there's only one school that really, really fits what I want.

I have scoured the internet for as much info as I can find. I've been having nightmares about not getting in, only to wake up and check my phone and email right away to see if I missed anything in my sleep. I get this bowling-ball-in-stomach feeling until I check Grad Cafe and find that nobody else got anything yet either. I'm not at all superstitious normally, but I've even started checking my horoscope, and ordering Chinese food just to get fortune cookies. I'm an atheist, and I've even prayed. I sit at my computer, refreshing the "Results Survey" page every few minutes; I've memorized the patterns from years past in terms of when emails are sent out when and for what purposes (Acceptance emails were sent out on the 22nd last year, and it's already the 23rd! Why are they behind????). Basically, it's gotten to the point where it's ridiculous. Every minute that passes without any word whatsoever seems to be longer than the minute before it.

My Plan A is to get into UC San Diego (my top choice by far). My Plan B was any of the other schools. And now, with all of this time to think about it, I'm thinking I should have come up with a Plan C, in case I don't get in anywhere. I'd want to be in grad school even if the economy were doing great, but in this economy, it's hard to not worry that I'll be stuck in my dead-end job that I hate until something miraculous happens.

Is anybody else dealing with this right now, or should I be making an appointment with a psychiatrist and taking assessments for OCD? Does anybody have any good ideas for back-up plans?

[rktenshi]

Oo I am!! I totally understand where you are coming from. I too haven't heard back from anywhere. Now i'm reaching the point where I don't want to know and am avoiding checking my emails every minute. I can only take so much rejection in one day. That's not normal right?!

[Semester Photon]

Hi Kbert,

I am somewhat in the same boat as you. I was worried about not getting into grad school. I had days where I was sure every school would reject me, but I did hear back from one school recently. (I'm so glad it was an acceptance; I probably would have gone a bit insane if the first thing I heard was a rejection.) Anyway, I haven't heard about funding yet, but even if I'm not funded, I'll try to make it work.

Is there some particular reason you're worried about getting into grad school? For me, the fear was mostly irrational. Having a plan B did help me to cope somewhat. My plan B was to apply to master's programs at the last minute if all the Ph.D. programs rejected me. My plan C was to move anyway to a city with better employment opportunity (where I live is a retirement destination with unemployment near 17%). I also had a plan D and F, but I won't go into those as I might need to make a flowchart.

[123student]

Kbert: I hope you're overstating the case a little (it seems like you are), but it's a fun read nonetheless--you might try your hand at creative writing just for fun. If the waiting bothers you that much, you might email the directors of the programs to which you applied asking about your status. If you don't hear the decision from each school, you might start running or cycling to alleviate your anxiety. If you don't get into any of your schools and you hold on to your goal of earning a PhD, then you might use the next year to study as much anthro. as you can: it will help strengthen your SoP for your next round of applications if you show you're studied in your discipline, are familiar with scholars and scholarly trends, etc. You could also sit in on classes at your undergrad if you're out of school right now. Take it easy, and try *something* new: doing anything productive is better than doing nothing productive. Good luck.

[We regret to inform you]

I agree with the poster above me. exercise works wonders.

[burgundykitten]

I unfortunately had this problem. My roommate and my SO both heard from the only school I applied to before I did by weeks (not that any of us are in the same programs, it was just the principle of it in general being that school). I was checking my online status roughly hourly between 9-5 on weekdays, though I TRIED to only check it after 5 so I'd only have to do it once a day (this never worked), and generally FREAKING OUT for at least one solid week. I hated having a smartphone during this time period, knowing I could check my status from it on a whim. I had an anxiety/panic attack at work because I just let it get to me so much & had to call off halfway through my shift, which is the only time I've ever called off work. Overall - it sucked. I didn't feel better whatsoever until I actually got the stupid decision, though I found some minor distractions at times. I've never had another time in my life where I've been so neurotic about something that I had high anxiety / felt like I couldn't breathe; you wouldn't need screened for OCD (or be appropriate for screening) if this is a situation-specific problem and not a constant source of disruption beyond the grad-school-waiting-game.

My Plan B was to just work for another year (I'm in the middle of taking a year off right now) and re-apply next year. I've found taking a year off fantastically liberating and would recommend it to anyone who can find a way to support themselves through it.

Edited February 24, 2012 by burgundykitten

[lumbarmoose]

I unfortunately had this problem. My roommate and my SO both heard from the only school I applied to before I did by weeks (not that any of us are in the same programs, it was just the principle of it in general being that school). I was checking my online status roughly hourly between 9-5 on weekdays, though I TRIED to only check it after 5 so I'd only have to do it once a day (this never worked), and generally FREAKING OUT for at least one solid week. I hated having a smartphone during this time period, knowing I could check my status from it on a whim. I had an anxiety/panic attack at work because I just let it get to me so much & had to call off halfway through my shift, which is the only time I've ever called off work. Overall - it sucked. I didn't feel better whatsoever until I actually got the stupid decision, though I found some minor distractions at times. I've never had another time in my life where I've been so neurotic about something that I had high anxiety / felt like I couldn't breathe; you wouldn't need screened for OCD (or be appropriate for screening) if this is a situation-specific problem and not a constant source of disruption beyond the grad-school-waiting-game.

My Plan B was to just work for another year (I'm in the middle of taking a year off right now) and re-apply next year. I've found taking a year off fantastically liberating and would recommend it to anyone who can find a way to support themselves through it.

Burgundykitten, I too am afraid I won't get in anywhere, and reading that last bit was incredibly reassuring =) Thanks for that.

[burgundykitten]

Burgundykitten, I too am afraid I won't get in anywhere, and reading that last bit was incredibly reassuring =) Thanks for that.

I'm glad! I've loved taking a year off - it wasn't what I intended to do (I got into grad school last year then opted not to go), but you learn to relax and breathe and enjoy things and get to know yourself. I stayed so busy during undergrad that I didn't have time for things like hobbies, but now I get to read literature and learn guitar and work on a foreign language for pleasure and have a more fulfilling social life and do yoga more often and go kayaking! I work 40+ hours a week but the downtime is wonderful. As long as you have some source of income so bills aren't a stressor, I feel like just getting to enjoy life for a little bit is wonderful.

[VicariouslyWaiting]

I can empathize completely OP. The wait isn't easy, but if it makes you feel any better UCSD rejected me a while back and FAST. It was as informal as rejections come. SO if you're in the running for this long, don't lose hope. Stay positive. I'm sure something good will come your way. Don't worry about doing the chinese food/praying thing. Even the most rational people become neurotic nincompoops during the applications process. I have a feeling something good will come your way. Hang in there

[CarlieE]

Depending on your field of study there are great jobs overseas... I have friends who haven't heard or have only gotten rejections back and they are looking at state dept jobs, UN jobs or just jobs overseas. In their cases, the jobs would boost their CVs since they're related to the field of study they want to do - for when they reapply next year.

Good Luck everyone - there's hope yet!!!

[laviola]

Im not obsessing over mine but I do think about it from time to time. Like you, I have a TOP choice and the rest are all just back-ups.. and I'm getting scared that I won't get in, even though it's what I want most. I think there may be a big problem in getting too attached to 1 school, but I think if you applied to at least 3 schools, you have a good chance.. at least you would like to hope.

Think positively, and yes, prepare for the worst. Maybe prepare for doing a year of working, a year traveling, or what ever you want - that means maybe applying to stuff now in case you don't get in. Then prepare to apply again. Don't give up, and don't think you won't get in, but be ready for anything. Just don't think about it 24/7!

[jerzygrl]

I am with you on this one OP. I also applied to anthro programs so I know your pain. Anxiety and a panic attack was what it took for me to make the assumption that I am being rejected from every school I applied to (though it was brought on by the only responce so far, a rejection). Once I picked myself up and dusted myself off I started trying to figure out other options. I am applying to two master's programs (one state side and one overseas) but I also started applying for jobs. Since I don't know the results yet I can be really picky about where I apply. I only apply places that I think would be fun to work at for sometime. Maybe I can make enough money to travel which could turn into a great SOP... and maybe even enough to pay for next years apps

Let yourself have your few minutes of self pity, but remember that in our field most of us will be rejected! Think about what would be fun to do if you had enough money and then start going after it. Should add here that I am actually interested in working at some of the places I applied and feeling excited about the prospect of making some real $$$

[jdennis2]

I completely understand, I have yet to hear back from my first choice. I check my email compulsively and I've become obsessed with my snail mailbox o.O So hang in there a lot of us are in the same boat, but the silence really is superior to a rejection .

[rmgerdes]

This is coming from someone who is sitting on pins and needles, hoping with all her might that this time is the time I'll get in (this is my 2nd round applying).... but, here's what I learned after not getting in last year.

Life goes on it. And, what's more, it is still pretty awesome. I firmly believe that life unfolds with purpose, and while I would not have chosen to teach another year, it has been a positive, wonderful year. My partner made some important professional strides that he would not have been able to do without our staying here. I completed several personal goals (the most significant of which was final reaching my goal weight, after 3 and 1/2 years and 170 lbs). I strengthened my application and got more involved the department I work in.

It isn't as though, if we don't get into grad school, we stop learning. But this is something we all very much and so we make it more important in our minds than it is. And because there is rejection involved, in feels incredibly personal, as though we aren't good and worthy people. But your ego, like mine, will heal. And your life, like mine, will fill.

If you don't get it in this year, and it is something you really want, you'll try again next year. And you'll grow in the process.

All that said, here's to acceptances all around!

[Hillary Emick]

Right now I only have one possible acceptance left. I had a good interview, but it is very selective and I am on pins and needles waiting to hear back from them. My boss would be thrilled to keep me on for another year (I already checked with her about this when decisions started coming in), and I learned some valuable lessons from the process.

[bythesea]

^mgerdes - what great words of wisdom! It's very helpful to hear your experience and be reminded of the big picture.

Congratulations on reaching your goals for the year!