Semester Photon

I see you are going for a Ph.D. in communication. Nice use of language there. Maybe your dissertation could be on the use of schoolyard taunts having a second life on the internet extending the adolescent mindset into young adulthood.Now that's trolling... I don't suggest you reply. If you do, I'll consider it "winning."

I think the point the original poster was making is that she came to the grad cafe for a supportive environment. I don't think it's fair to imply that she can't hack it in grad school. It's all about situation versus expectation. Now some of us have thick skin from being amateur writers (everyone's a critic), so we may be more jaded than the rest. I really didn't expect this forum to act much different than other forums on the internet. There will always be people offering their most helpful (read: critical) advice, and people making humorous (read: mean) remarks. It's important to take it with a grain of salt as these aren't usually people who know you in any real way. Just as you don't know them. I do hope you don't let it get to you. Making it through tough times (like grad school) can be dependent on finding people that are supportive of you. I know it can be hard to develop "thick skin." However, for me, it was mostly a matter of going back into the "lion's den" time after time like I had no memory of how much it hurt the time before until I was able to look on the positive side (read: hear what wasn't said. Lol)

I assume that you want to see what your recommenders wrote about you. You can usually ask either the letter writer or the school although some letter writers do not wish to share with you what they have written. As long as you didn't waive your right to do so, you should be able to get copies of your letters by requesting them from the school (after the letter writers have submitted them, of course.

white lies

How much do you trust your own judgment to decide what's right for you to study? I would go for the open structure program if you are normally a fairly decisive person. Having some options to help guide you would be beneficial. If it were me, personally, I would go for the structured program. I can rarely make up my mind about things, and having the program tell me what to do sounds appealing. Unfortunately, I'm in a field that's largely self-guided, so I just had to pick a direction and keep convincing myself it's the right one.

Wait! As someone who didn't and is now looking at possibly asking to rescind my acceptance (they wanted a decision right away), it's incredibly awkward. If you have the time to wait, I would at least wait until the deadline! Even ask for an extension if they are pushing for your decision. Even if you think you want to go, see what the Ph.D. program says so you can weigh your options thoroughly.

Thank you everyone for your responses. I'm leaning towards UC Merced at the moment. I will talk to my contact there first though.

I studied about 8 hours total two months before the exam. Then classes got in the way, and I didn't study anymore. I just decided to take it and see. I did well enough that I decided not to retake. I did kinda poorly on the verbal section (560), but it doesn't matter very much in my field (math). The Gre Math though, I studied over the course of weeks for.

So here is yet another help me decide post. What happened was that I wasn't admitted into my dream school, and that's okay. However, I didn't spend as much time researching the other schools that I applied to, so now I'm not really sure what to do. I got into Portland State University, UC Merced, and UH Manoa. UH Manoa hasn't offered me funding, but since they are on spring break, I won't be able to email them and ask until next week. My SO is going with me when I move, and he works at home so he can keep his job. However, he doesn't particularly like his job, so he wants to find something different. Here's the breakdown of Portland State University. What they offered: 12.6K teaching assistantship (intensive, I would be teaching a low-level mathematics class). It's only guaranteed for the first year, but they did say that they make an effort to renew them. Pros: Portland is an awesome city. I know people in the area. Better job opportunities for my SO. Great public transportation. (Important because I would prefer not to pay for a car.) I was one of their first round picks, and I feel like I would get a lot of attention at the program. Cons: Uncertain funding over the next four years. They waive out of state tuition, but I would still have to pay in state tuition. I would not be able to keep my health coverage if I became a resident of Oregon. (Important because I have a condition.) Important note: If I decided on a different university, I would have to contact Portland and ask permission to rescind my acceptance. And Here's the info about UC Merced: What they offered: 17.6K teaching assistantship or graduate research assistanship guaranteed for four years. $1,000 award for "school expenses" upon my enrollment in the program. Tuition and health care covered by the university. Pros: Lower cost of living in Merced. Closer to "home." SO could go down to half time at his current job, and focus on some of his personal projects. I could keep my current insurance (if I chose to). I actually know a couple of the students in the program from undergrad (although not well). Cons: Merced is a kinda nothing town. (I live in a kinda nothing town, so I'm used to it). High unemployment, so SO wouldn't have as good of job opportunities. Closer to "home." Both programs are newer programs with a similar emphasis on interdisciplinary work. On paper, they look very similar. I have someone I'm planning to talk to about Merced's program (past acquaintance), but I have no one similar to ask about Portland. I want to go into academia (more teaching than reasearch) after I graduate or get a job in industry. Going to Merced would definitely be easier financially. Do you guys think that I should go to Merced and rescind my acceptance at Portland (possibly burning some bridges in the process)? Or do you think that the benefits of Portland are worth the additional cost?

Sorry to hear about that. I agree that it does sound like you are waitlisted for Iowa. That is that they won't admit you until there is a TA position for you (which there isn't one at this time), but they haven't rejected you either. However, it sounds like they believe that it's only a small chance they can admit you. I'm guessing that you're not a native English speaker (or maybe you were just typing quickly/on your phone). In any case, interpreting such a vague response is difficult.Edited to add: Good luck to you. Hope you get out of limbo shortly.

Avoid thinking about the wait? I've heard back on almost everything, and I'm still obsessing. In order to go less crazy, I play video games, write, and tutor my best friend in math in my free time. Nothing like helping your pregnant best friend with her least favorite subject to make obsessing over grad school seem like an attractive alternative (I'm kidding, of course!)

Well, never following through on your email does make you seem flaky (sorry for being so blunt). If the professor remembers you, it may color his opinion. However, that said, it certainly isn't a deal-breaker. I've had professors that said they would get back to me and didn't. These things happen. If you make it into a mountain, it will become one. I would apologize since he probably remembers whether he says anything or not. Apologize about failing to keep in touch and ask if his offer to answer your questions still stands. Then if he says yes, ask him some questions and go from there. I don't think I would go into detail about depression/anxiety preventing your response. If he asks for an explanation, admit there isn't a good excuse. Maybe tell him you were worried about becoming a nuisance since you weren't actually in the program? Or that you had distractions and let more time slip by then you wanted?

Yes, I would withdraw. Just expect they might give you an answer anyway. (I just got an acceptance from a school today that I had asked to stop considering my application).

Don't assume. If the program has a waitlist, you are likely on it: they rejected the candidates that weren't a good fit and sent acceptances to those that were the best fit in the first round. Anyone who fell in between is on the waitlist until they see how many accepted candidates are actually going. I would email them to see what your status is for certain.

chop sticks

I just got an acceptance from UC Merced today. I'm betting they got less applications than many of the other UC's. I'm betting that for many of you no decision has yet been made or you're on a waiting list. Don't lose hope yet!

I know what it feels like to be stuck. I've been there where every last plan fell through, and it seemed like the universe was against me. Everytime I got up again, it seemed like something conspired against me. I felt stuck in my little "nowhere" town, doing something I liked, but not something that was long term. I worried that I didn't possess the attributes or the talents to work my way out of it. I worried if I did get out of it, that I would be knocked down again. After all I did have about 4 straight years of setbacks whenever I made progress. I've stopped seeing life as a series of finish lines, but rather as a journey. I feel like getting into graduate school (with funding!) was a long-awaited break, and this opportunity will be what I make of it. I don't worry about being the best anymore (like I did in high school and much of college). I focus on being the best person I can be. Integrity, patience, and gratitude have replaced perfectionism at the top of my value pyramid. In the past couple of years especially, I've taken pride in being a good friend. I've stopped seeing life as a competition, and my life has improved ever since. I have better friends. I have a deeper sense of empathy. These past couple years of detour have been anything but fruitless. Your situation is different, of course. I hope you aren't stuck in your current situation for a few years like I was. Although it has had its upside, it has been frustrating because at times I've felt like I was always waiting for my life to really begin. I had more than one "crash and burn" takeoff, so I know how disheartening they can be. The only advice I can offer is to focus on the things you do have that you most appreciate, but don't give up on your dreams. I truly believe that things will get better for you. Re-posted to cut down on novella length!

I haven't been to CSU Fullerton, but at CSU Chico the faculty often dressed super casually (more than one professor wore shorts and sandals year-around). Academia in general has a looser dress code than the corporate world. That being said it's okay to overdress for your interview. I recommend dressing as if you were going for a job interview (just wear comfortable shoes as they may show you around after the formal part of your interview). http://hhd.fullerton.edu/msw/faculty.htm may give you an idea of what to wear. It looks like some of the facaulty dress up and some don't. That was typical of Chico as well. In your position, I would wear some variation of a suit or a professional-type dress for the interview. As for the rest, I'm not in the right field to tell you.

Thanks for the offer. I may take you up on it.

Sometimes life gives you some hard knocks, and it isn't really your fault. I don't know if doing that many things made you lose focus, but I'm guessing not since your mentors etc. liked your application materials. It could be that you were just unlucky (b/c the programs you applied to had perfect candidates or whatever). Try not to get too discouraged. If you give up, you'll never get there. Maybe next year apply to some master's programs (there's still time for some of them this year) or apply to some lower ranked schools.

If you live in Davis, you can bike to the campus. Parking at Davis is impacted. My brother did his graduate work there (organic chemistry), and he always rode his bike even in the rain... so the daily commute is one more factor to consider.

Thank you! I hope you get in as well. I'm pretty excited. The more I research about living in Portland, the more I believe that I will like living there. I'm planning to send in my acceptance tomorrow if my last remaining school hasn't gotten back to me by then (University of Hawaii). I think I'm on their waitlist because I've heard they started sending out acceptances. Although I do like their program, Portland's is more focused. I have family in Hawaii and would love to live closer to them, but in many ways going to Portland makes more sense.

I don't know if this is helpful but when I applied to Portland State, I got a letter in the mail from the math department stating that they had "recommended me for admission." Four weeks later I got a letter from Portland State University making my acceptance official. Bureaucracy works very slowly. While unofficial, the recommendation you got is a very good sign. Just because it's been a while doesn't mean you are rejected. You will likely be admitted into the program. Just give the bureaucracy a little more time to pull all their levers and rubber-stamp your application.

Also since you are interested in applied math, take a computer programming course. Many applied math grad programs ask for or prefer a strong background in computer science. Maybe you already have a strong computer science background? I'm not really sure if you had to do programming for your job.

Hi, As someone who has been socially awkward most of her life, I would like to say that sometimes you just won't "click" with people, and that's okay. However, if you want to be friends with someone, it's fine to take some initiative. (Again, they might not want to be your friend, so don't push and push.) Talk to them before and after class; try to figure out their interests. Ask them questions (and follow up on what they tell you!) If they seem receptive, ask them to do something with you. If they aren't receptive, don't take it personally just move on. You may find after you get to know them that you are more compatible as acquaintances and colleagues rather than good friends. Maybe it's because you have to work too hard to keep the conversation flowing smoothly or maybe it's just that you aren't that interested in vintage jewelry or whatever odd hobby they always want to talk about. It's not a bad thing; it's just that we are all different. However, I've found that with most people I can find enough common ground (or enough interesting debates) to keep things friendly and engaging. You won't seem weird to your lab-mates if you don't talk to them outside of class. I think everyone understands that we lead very busy lives, and it's okay to not connect with everyone. My advice for the one person you've had dinner with is to arrange another dinner yourself. The other person may be too (disorganized, distracted, busy, etc) to take the initiative, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to hang out. There are certain friends that I usually have to take the initiative with, and that's okay. Some people are just that way.