Semester Photon

I see you are going for a Ph.D. in communication. Nice use of language there. Maybe your dissertation could be on the use of schoolyard taunts having a second life on the internet extending the adolescent mindset into young adulthood.Now that's trolling... I don't suggest you reply. If you do, I'll consider it "winning."

I think the point the original poster was making is that she came to the grad cafe for a supportive environment. I don't think it's fair to imply that she can't hack it in grad school. It's all about situation versus expectation. Now some of us have thick skin from being amateur writers (everyone's a critic), so we may be more jaded than the rest. I really didn't expect this forum to act much different than other forums on the internet. There will always be people offering their most helpful (read: critical) advice, and people making humorous (read: mean) remarks. It's important to take it with a grain of salt as these aren't usually people who know you in any real way. Just as you don't know them. I do hope you don't let it get to you. Making it through tough times (like grad school) can be dependent on finding people that are supportive of you. I know it can be hard to develop "thick skin." However, for me, it was mostly a matter of going back into the "lion's den" time after time like I had no memory of how much it hurt the time before until I was able to look on the positive side (read: hear what wasn't said. Lol)

I assume that you want to see what your recommenders wrote about you. You can usually ask either the letter writer or the school although some letter writers do not wish to share with you what they have written. As long as you didn't waive your right to do so, you should be able to get copies of your letters by requesting them from the school (after the letter writers have submitted them, of course.

white lies

How much do you trust your own judgment to decide what's right for you to study? I would go for the open structure program if you are normally a fairly decisive person. Having some options to help guide you would be beneficial. If it were me, personally, I would go for the structured program. I can rarely make up my mind about things, and having the program tell me what to do sounds appealing. Unfortunately, I'm in a field that's largely self-guided, so I just had to pick a direction and keep convincing myself it's the right one.

Wait! As someone who didn't and is now looking at possibly asking to rescind my acceptance (they wanted a decision right away), it's incredibly awkward. If you have the time to wait, I would at least wait until the deadline! Even ask for an extension if they are pushing for your decision. Even if you think you want to go, see what the Ph.D. program says so you can weigh your options thoroughly.

Thank you everyone for your responses. I'm leaning towards UC Merced at the moment. I will talk to my contact there first though.

I studied about 8 hours total two months before the exam. Then classes got in the way, and I didn't study anymore. I just decided to take it and see. I did well enough that I decided not to retake. I did kinda poorly on the verbal section (560), but it doesn't matter very much in my field (math). The Gre Math though, I studied over the course of weeks for.

So here is yet another help me decide post. What happened was that I wasn't admitted into my dream school, and that's okay. However, I didn't spend as much time researching the other schools that I applied to, so now I'm not really sure what to do. I got into Portland State University, UC Merced, and UH Manoa. UH Manoa hasn't offered me funding, but since they are on spring break, I won't be able to email them and ask until next week. My SO is going with me when I move, and he works at home so he can keep his job. However, he doesn't particularly like his job, so he wants to find something different. Here's the breakdown of Portland State University. What they offered: 12.6K teaching assistantship (intensive, I would be teaching a low-level mathematics class). It's only guaranteed for the first year, but they did say that they make an effort to renew them. Pros: Portland is an awesome city. I know people in the area. Better job opportunities for my SO. Great public transportation. (Important because I would prefer not to pay for a car.) I was one of their first round picks, and I feel like I would get a lot of attention at the program. Cons: Uncertain funding over the next four years. They waive out of state tuition, but I would still have to pay in state tuition. I would not be able to keep my health coverage if I became a resident of Oregon. (Important because I have a condition.) Important note: If I decided on a different university, I would have to contact Portland and ask permission to rescind my acceptance. And Here's the info about UC Merced: What they offered: 17.6K teaching assistantship or graduate research assistanship guaranteed for four years. $1,000 award for "school expenses" upon my enrollment in the program. Tuition and health care covered by the university. Pros: Lower cost of living in Merced. Closer to "home." SO could go down to half time at his current job, and focus on some of his personal projects. I could keep my current insurance (if I chose to). I actually know a couple of the students in the program from undergrad (although not well). Cons: Merced is a kinda nothing town. (I live in a kinda nothing town, so I'm used to it). High unemployment, so SO wouldn't have as good of job opportunities. Closer to "home." Both programs are newer programs with a similar emphasis on interdisciplinary work. On paper, they look very similar. I have someone I'm planning to talk to about Merced's program (past acquaintance), but I have no one similar to ask about Portland. I want to go into academia (more teaching than reasearch) after I graduate or get a job in industry. Going to Merced would definitely be easier financially. Do you guys think that I should go to Merced and rescind my acceptance at Portland (possibly burning some bridges in the process)? Or do you think that the benefits of Portland are worth the additional cost?

Sorry to hear about that. I agree that it does sound like you are waitlisted for Iowa. That is that they won't admit you until there is a TA position for you (which there isn't one at this time), but they haven't rejected you either. However, it sounds like they believe that it's only a small chance they can admit you. I'm guessing that you're not a native English speaker (or maybe you were just typing quickly/on your phone). In any case, interpreting such a vague response is difficult.Edited to add: Good luck to you. Hope you get out of limbo shortly.

Avoid thinking about the wait? I've heard back on almost everything, and I'm still obsessing. In order to go less crazy, I play video games, write, and tutor my best friend in math in my free time. Nothing like helping your pregnant best friend with her least favorite subject to make obsessing over grad school seem like an attractive alternative (I'm kidding, of course!)

Well, never following through on your email does make you seem flaky (sorry for being so blunt). If the professor remembers you, it may color his opinion. However, that said, it certainly isn't a deal-breaker. I've had professors that said they would get back to me and didn't. These things happen. If you make it into a mountain, it will become one. I would apologize since he probably remembers whether he says anything or not. Apologize about failing to keep in touch and ask if his offer to answer your questions still stands. Then if he says yes, ask him some questions and go from there. I don't think I would go into detail about depression/anxiety preventing your response. If he asks for an explanation, admit there isn't a good excuse. Maybe tell him you were worried about becoming a nuisance since you weren't actually in the program? Or that you had distractions and let more time slip by then you wanted?

Yes, I would withdraw. Just expect they might give you an answer anyway. (I just got an acceptance from a school today that I had asked to stop considering my application).

Don't assume. If the program has a waitlist, you are likely on it: they rejected the candidates that weren't a good fit and sent acceptances to those that were the best fit in the first round. Anyone who fell in between is on the waitlist until they see how many accepted candidates are actually going. I would email them to see what your status is for certain.

chop sticks