Referee Issues! Help

[omigoshlolz]

I've completed 6 applications (so far) to Master's in Counselling Psychology programs. One of my referees submitted letters on time for all of them. Now, I'm in the process of submitting my 7th, which has rolling admissions. In my email to her on February 8th, I said that there's no official deadline, but to please please submit a letter ASAP, so I can hear a decision earlier since it's rolling. She never responded to my email. The reference page on my application shows "Notified" next to her name, which means she hasn't even OPENED the page to look at it.

So on Wednesday, I sent her a reminder email, and got no response. I even had the submission form re-sent just in case she didn't get it. I KNOW she's getting my emails, because this has sort of happened before. At the beginning of application season, I sent her an email asking if she would be a referee and didn't receive a response for 2 full weeks. I had one of her grad students track her down and ask her if she got my email and all she said was "yes" and responded 3 days after that. This was all while I was trying to get applications sent in on time and I couldn't pay or submit my application without both referees information and I didn't want to submit her information without her consent first.

It's just incredibly frustrating! This is a stressful time and I'm TRYING to make progress with no cooperation. It doesn't help that I'm a perfectionist control freak either. I keep saying to myself "IF I COULD DO THIS BY MYSELF, I WOULD. THEN, IT WOULD GET DONE WHEN I WANT IT TO GET DONE" UGH.

I keep checking and rechecking the application website, hoping to see "Submitted" next to her name, but I seriously think I'm going to have a panic attack if I don't get away from my computer. LOL

I mean, it's not like she needs to write a whole new letter for each application. She wrote the damn letter in December! All she has to do is change the date and UPLOAD IT. Why is that so hard?! I just don't get it.

And she's a clinical psychologist.

I'm sorry, but she's supposed to KNOW that application season is stressful and this sort of thing makes people crazy. She knows me, for goodness sake!

Sorry. I really had to vent.

So...what am I supposed to do? I said I would wait until Monday afternoon to do anything else, but what do I do if there's nothing by then? Bombard her with emails? I can't even call her because she's away on leave from the University. I'm afraid she went on vacation somewhere with no internet or something. <shrug>

I just feel like I really have this school in the bag and they keep emailing me saying my application is strong, but they need the last reference to fully review it with the committee.

Someone please ease my anxiety...or something.

[purpledinosaur]

Ugh, that's a tough situation! Can you talk to one of her grad students again? Maybe they have another way of contacting her, or she would be more likely to answer their emails?

That's all I've got, sorry... I'm sure she will send it soon!

[duckiesandbees]

I was in a similar situation with one of my referees. They hadn't completed the letter at 9 pm the day it was due, despite my numerous e-mails and in-person reminders. I was freaking out and my SO basically said that this is my future and I needed to suck it up and call her at home. I did, and even though it was stressful, the letters were done 30 minutes later. I am the kind of person who hates to bother others with this kind of thing, but when you ask and ask and wait politely there comes a time when you need to be more forceful.