should i mention the fact that my boyfriend is at the same school?

[3point14]

So I have an interview weekend coming up at my top choice school. If they ask the question, "why are you interested in our program" or some variation of that, I have a number of good reasons why it would be a good match. However, this also happens to be the school my boyfriend is attending. He is not the reason I like the school, but it's certainly a plus. Should I mention him or just not bring it up?

[MashaMashaMasha]

The short answer is no. I think you run the risk of coming off as unprofessional, even if it's not your intention. When asked why you want to attend, list off all the fabulous program-related reasons. These reasons should align with your criteria for making a decision: fit, faculty research interests, strength of the department, etc.

Even if the intent was to show that if accepted, you'd be 100% attending this school, there are clearly other reasons why that's the case, since it's your top choice. I'd highlight those and then *maybe* if the current grad students invite prospectives to a pub night, then you can mention that, coincidentally, your SO goes here as well.

[3point14]

The short answer is no.

Thanks. This is kind of what I was thinking.

[Eigen]

I'm going to partially disagree here.

I agree that you should list all the other reasons first. But I wouldn't avoid mentioning the relationship.

It was a little different for us, since we were married when we applied, but I don't think it hurt my wife's chances at all that she mentioned that her husband was already in graduate school at our institution. In fact, it even gave her a chance to start early- someone dropped out of the previous years class, and since they knew she was in town already, they asked her if she wanted to take his place and start mid-year.

You don't want to over-emphasize it, but most academics are fairly pragmatic, and there are a lot more double-academic relationships than you might think, and I've found people to be pretty understanding of that. It's one of the reasons spousal hires are still relatively common- most programs realize that having both people in a relationship at the same institution increases both of their chances- they aren't fighting a long-distance relationship, and they have something extra to "tie" them to the institution.

Edited March 19, 2012 by Eigen

[3point14]

You don't want to over-emphasize it, but most academics are fairly pragmatic, and there are a lot more double-academic relationships than you might think, and I've found people to be pretty understanding of that. It's one of the reasons spousal hires are still relatively common- most programs realize that having both people in a relationship at the same institution increases both of their chances- they aren't fighting a long-distance relationship, and they have something extra to "tie" them to the institution.

Hm, well maybe I will bring him up if it seems like I would be lying to not mention it.

[wheatGrass]

In every conversation I've had with POIs, the conversation always gets around to lifestyle issues at the school/city in question... you know, how's the commute/transit situation, that kind of thing. This is when I'd bring it up, not necessarily in the "why do you want to be in our program" part of the interview

[psychgurl]

In every conversation I've had with POIs, the conversation always gets around to lifestyle issues at the school/city in question... you know, how's the commute/transit situation, that kind of thing. This is when I'd bring it up, not necessarily in the "why do you want to be in our program" part of the interview

This seems like the logical moment to bring it up. If you think you are going to be obsessing over this detail after you divulge, though, I would just not share this info. I tend to over-analyze everything, so I would probably be paranoid about if I should have brought it up or not. In reality, I doubt it would have much sway on their decisions (good or bad), though...

[3point14]

In reality, I doubt it would have much sway on their decisions (good or bad), though...

Yeah you're probably right. I'll just bring it up if it seems natural and not worry about it if it doesn't

[rockhopper]

When I was applying to University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign last Fall and went to visit, my then boyfriend and I had been dating for three years. We have since broken up, but I didn't mention him when I was talking to professors. I just felt like they would think it was the main reason I was applying to the school and it wasn't. I just didn't want them to think I wasn't serious about the program. Just my opinion!

[3point14]

Thanks for all the advice guys! For anyone who is interested, I mentioned it to my POI (he asked if I had ever been to the city before) and he was totally cool with it. He said I should have let him know earlier and he would have scheduled my return flight for later so I could spend an extra day with my boyfriend.