How to handle two potential advisors?

[icthere]

Hi,

To put it quickly, I interviewed with Prof. A less than a month ago, after which he indicated that he will be making me an offer. I thanked him and said that I am looking forward to working with him. I even turned down another faculty from the same school who expressed interest in working with me. However, I have not yet received anything official from them, although I am pretty sure that Prof. A will keep his word.

A few days ago, I got admitted to another school and was introduced in the admission letter to Prof. B as my advisor. I emailed him asking questions about the project that I would be working on among other things. I did not imply anywhere in my message that I would be accepting their offer, but did not mention that I am considering other schools as well. He answered quickly, and talked as if I would be accepting their offer. Nowhere is his mail did he say that "if you accept" or something like that. He was like: "Yes, I will be your advisor." or "Yes, we will be working on blah blah." To complicate things further, he mentioned Prof. B (among others) as the people we might wind up collaborating with.

Although I am almost sure that I will be attending Prof. A's school, I cannot decline my only official offer just now. Also, I don't want to play games, and think that I'd better tell Prof. B about Prof. A. Now, how do you think I should word my email?

I would appreciate any advice or similar experiences.

Thanks.

Edited March 22, 2012 by icthere

[ANDS!]

Wording isn't clear here; did this Second Instructor make mention of the First Instructor?

[icthere]

Excuse me if I have not been clear enough. Yes, he named the first prof as one of the people we (me and him as my advisor) may collaborate with in the future.

[ANDS!]

Then yes you absolutely need to tread carefully. Make mention that you have actually been in contact with the First Instructor as a potential advisor, and perhaps inquire if the two have collaborated before; and if so on what. You can even make mention of what a coincidence it is, to take a bit of the "edge" off. I would also ask how long you have to make a decision so that the Second Instructor knows absolutely you are reviewing OTHER options. Make sure you are controlling the conversation so that you aren't backed into a corner.

Edited March 22, 2012 by ANDS!

[icthere]

Thanks. Actually, the decision date is April 15th as indicated in the admission letter. So, I may seem too careless if I ask such an obvious question. The coincidence thing seems nice though.

[ANDS!]

If the decision is in there don't use that, but somehow you want to communicate (delicately) that you are considering other offers; asking about a decision date is a nice segue into doing that.

[cyberwulf]

I think you can just be straightforward, and say that you are currently considering a few offers, and will get in touch once you have made a decision. You might mention the Prof. A thing to Prof. B, who might be happy to know that even if you don't end up working with her/him, you'd at least be working with someone they collaborate with!

[ktel]

You definitely need to be straight forward. I had multiple offers from profs within the same department, and in all communication with them I made it very clear who else I was talking to. They would have found out regardless.

[icthere]

Thank everyone for the advice. I just emailed the second POI and let him know of the situation. Relieved