Boring vs new

[SLP1129]

This has been posted a few times but I'm really having a hard time making a decision. I'm choosing between two schools for my masters degree. School #1 is my current school and has a fine program, it is about $35,000 for the whole program, close to my home, and my boyfriend is here. However, I really want to get out of this city and move somewhere new. I'm only 23 and want to have a new experience and new adventure. I would have the same professors I already know and really would like to be exposed to other ideas in the field. School #2 is a highly regarded program, $56,000 for the whole program, in an amazing town, and it felt like the perfect fit when I visited. It has exactly what I want in a program/town. However, as you can see it would mean quite a bit more debt. Do you think that the perfect fit is worth the extra loans?

[CarlieE]

Is the boyfriend thing holding you back? Sorry for being blunt, but that's what stuck out to me while reading your OP.

My opinion is to try the New Option, but it can be tough to leave behind a relationship that is good and working well. Is he willing to go with you? If the answer is no, then you might want to reconsider the whole relationship. He has to willing at least to consider a compromise - a LDR or moving. If his answer is a Flat No, then he doesn't seem as invested in your relationship as you are. Just my opinion.

I told my current boyfriend when we started dating that I am going to apply to a PhD and if I get in (which I did yay!) then he would either have to move with me, or we'd break up. I'm not into LDRs and I wasn't going to give up my dreams for him (or anyone). But we had a frank conversation about our options. I think you might want to have a similar direct conversation with yours.

As for the loans, if this is a MA program, then I say No, don't go into debt for it. But have you looked at scholarships/fellowships? TA or RA or GAships? Or private scholarships? If it's a PhD, which seems unlikely from the cost, then go for it, loans and all.

[JSmoove]

Is the boyfriend thing holding you back? Sorry for being blunt, but that's what stuck out to me while reading your OP.

My opinion is to try the New Option, but it can be tough to leave behind a relationship that is good and working well. Is he willing to go with you? If the answer is no, then you might want to reconsider the whole relationship. He has to willing at least to consider a compromise - a LDR or moving. If his answer is a Flat No, then he doesn't seem as invested in your relationship as you are. Just my opinion.

I told my current boyfriend when we started dating that I am going to apply to a PhD and if I get in (which I did yay!) then he would either have to move with me, or we'd break up. I'm not into LDRs and I wasn't going to give up my dreams for him (or anyone). But we had a frank conversation about our options. I think you might want to have a similar direct conversation with yours.

As for the loans, if this is a MA program, then I say No, don't go into debt for it. But have you looked at scholarships/fellowships? TA or RA or GAships? Or private scholarships? If it's a PhD, which seems unlikely from the cost, then go for it, loans and all.

What? I'm very confused by this advice. Putting aside the focus on the boyfriend aspect of it when it doesn't seem like the original post said that it was going to be a huge deterrent to choosing the more expensive program (only that it was one positive of the first program in addition to it being cheaper and closer to home), I think it's a very bad idea to ever go into a more expensive PhD program and take out loans. There are way too many fully funded PhD programs out there that provide tuition remission and a stipend for that to ever be a good idea. If these are PhD programs and both would cause you to go into significant debt, I would do neither and try again next year. If this is an MA program, which would make more sense given the cost, I would lean more towards the cheaper option, especially if you are planning to do a PhD further down the road.

[JSmoove]

To further clarify, although wanting to be in a new environment is completely understandable, if these are MA programs, I would weigh the cost more than the location in any decision because those programs are usually 1-2 years. For a PhD program, where you're usually there for about 5-6 years, I think being happy in the place you're at is more important. If MA, just tough it out for that short amount of time, and then go somewhere more interesting afterward for your next stage of life.

[MakeYourself]

Is the boyfriend thing holding you back? Sorry for being blunt, but that's what stuck out to me while reading your OP.

My opinion is to try the New Option, but it can be tough to leave behind a relationship that is good and working well. Is he willing to go with you? If the answer is no, then you might want to reconsider the whole relationship. He has to willing at least to consider a compromise - a LDR or moving. If his answer is a Flat No, then he doesn't seem as invested in your relationship as you are. Just my opinion.

I told my current boyfriend when we started dating that I am going to apply to a PhD and if I get in (which I did yay!) then he would either have to move with me, or we'd break up. I'm not into LDRs and I wasn't going to give up my dreams for him (or anyone). But we had a frank conversation about our options. I think you might want to have a similar direct conversation with yours.

As for the loans, if this is a MA program, then I say No, don't go into debt for it. But have you looked at scholarships/fellowships? TA or RA or GAships? Or private scholarships? If it's a PhD, which seems unlikely from the cost, then go for it, loans and all.

I disagree with this advice. I think it is quite selfish and one-sided to ask someone to drop everything in their life and move across the country with you. Who is to say that her boyfriend doesn't have a career that he needs to think about too? Getting your pHD isn't the most important thing in the world that outweighs everyone else's hopes and dreams. How are you both going to take care of yourselves on a graduate student's stipend? I think there are way more factors that need to be considered than just "this is my life and I'm going to do what I want and if you're not willing to change your life for me then I'm leaving you".

Anyway, now that I've ranted... I agree with the posters who mentioned that being in debt is not fun. And I also encourage you to think about this: there is a possibility that you could stay at the same school and have more 'fun' than if you go to a new school. And there is the possibility that you go to a new school and you end up being bored out of your mind and hating everyone. I know this is an exaggeration, but I 'm just giving these examples because I don't think you should be making your decision based on 'new' and 'old' and 'fun' vs. 'boring'. I think your decision should be based on your research interests, your advisor fit, and also financial and living costs. And if relationships are important to you, then of course consider your relationship as well.

Good luck!

Edited April 17, 2012 by spinrah

[rose1]

I honestly don't think the price difference is big enough to base your decision on. Go where you want.

[MakeYourself]

I honestly don't think the price difference is big enough to base your decision on. Go where you want.

$20,000 is not a lot to you? I envy you.

[snes]

NO, save your money at the home program. You can't have adventures when you're so financially strapped that you can't justify the costs of any social event or attraction in Amazing Town. I just think that's too big of a price difference to ignore.

[R Deckard]

Imagine the $21,000 vacation you could take if you stay at your current school.

Edited April 18, 2012 by R Deckard