How much 'doubt' is normal? Advice, please :-/

[bjlowe]

I was admitted to the NYU SCPS Masters program in Global Affairs. I graduated from UW Madison two years ago with a BA in International Studies/Political Science. After two years of work, I haven't been thrilled with either of the two jobs I had. I had always thought of going to grad school and made the decision to apply after realizing that I may not get a job that I will be satisfied with unless I continue to grad school and find a job that I worked hard for and that I really care about. (As an IS major it is difficult to find something in this field without a grad degree, or so it seems.)

Now, after I'm signing up for classes and reading through articles on JSTOR in preparation for my program I am starting to have a lot of anxiety about whether or not I am making the right decision. I'm currently teaching abroad but don't want to continue this so my options now are pursue a grad degree or go home and start job searching for a job that I will be settling for. The thought of going back to school scares me a little, and the cost of tuition scares me even more-especially when I think about the current job market. This could be a severe case of 'fear of failure.'

I guess what I want to know is this- How many of you are doubting your readiness or your decision for grad school? How many grad students were worried about their decisions to attend when they enrolled, and how do you feel now that you are in school? What level of stress/anxiety/self-doubt is normal when we are taking this life-changing step?

Some days I am perfectly confident that I am making the right decision to move to New York and pursue what I have always held to be my 'dream.' And other days I feel like I would be perfectly happy furnishing a home/apartment back home finding a job and settling down and paying off the (comparatively) little debt that I currently have.

Any input/personal stories would be greatly appreciated!

[emmm]

I would also be worried about grad school debt -- I don't think that is unreasonable at all. I would not have gone to grad school unfunded.

[talific]

I think everyone has doubts about it. And, as emmm said, the debt is definitely legitimate.... But for me, it was like 3 hours of celebrations after getting accepted and then "OHMYGODWHATAMIDOING" set in. So, yes, I think some anxiety/self-doubt is normal. Especially if, like me, you think about being stuck in school for the next 6 years or so and that it may, to some extent, put other things in your life on hold.

[imonedaful]

As the other posters mentioned, freaking out is completely normal. Going to graduate school is like entering a marriage for a few years. Therefore, there is a good chance you will get cold feet. I have had the same feelings a little bit. I had decided a few years ago when I finished my master's degree that I wanted to apply to a PHD program. For the past two years I have been working a few jobs, paying bills, and living like a "normal" person. I had doubt I would even get accepted into a PHD program. However, when I did get an acceptance e-mail this weekend I was excited. I work, but am not fully satsified with what I do either. I feel like I need to "upgrade" my life. After being excited, it kind of set in that going back to school is like (in the words of the man who interviewed me for graduate school) "taking a vow of poverty." I had kind of got used to having some extra spending money. So what you need to do if you have doubt is sit and think about whether you are okay with settling or rather try to push your limits. Make sure things make sense financially (is there funding availabe for your program? do you have to take out a loan? if you take out a loan, has reasonable will it be for you to pay it back?). Once you can realistically lay out a plan that is feasible you have to just fully commit yourself to what you are doing. It may take a little personal persuasion, as it can be an arduous process, but it needs to be done.

[Tall Chai Latte]

For me, I had doubts every step of the process. Starting from applying, getting accepted, deciding on a program, choosing a lab, and up til recently, passing the prelim. Luckily I had people in my cohort who were going through the same thoughts too, and we gave each other emotional support and reminding each other "we are good enough for this" along the way. I think if you think that every decision you made along the way was the best decision at that point in time, then there's really nothing to regret about. After all, you could only worry about the present and have no control over what the future holds.

[BrokenRecord]

I would also be worried about grad school debt -- I don't think that is unreasonable at all. I would not have gone to grad school unfunded.

Ditto.