Maintaining a social life, relationships, etc in grad school?

[pessimist1234]

Will this be difficult to do in also maintaining the required 3.0? I'm going to take 9 hours which is full time, and I have an assistantship.

[CarlieE]

I think this all depends on what you mean by "social life". If it means getting drunk 4 out of 7 nights of the week and partying, then I'm going to go with no.... But, I don't think grad school means you can't maintain friendships, hang out with friends, go and have dinner, go to the bar and have a few drinks, or watch a movie etc and still heavily party once in a while. It's all about time management IMO..

[MoJingly]

I agree. I definitely have time for a social life, but that's because I know that if I don't make time, I will go nuts. Think of grad school like a job. Don't let it control your entire life. Burnout can be a serious problem and it's important to keep things in perspective! Taking some time to be with friends can give you the balance to be a better student.

[mandarin.orange]

Will this be difficult to do in also maintaining the required 3.0? I'm going to take 9 hours which is full time, and I have an assistantship.

Hard to say. More data is needed. I.e., what do you envision for "social life?" What are the demands of your specific field? What do current students in your program have to say, or what does their quality of life seem to be?

Edited May 4, 2012 by mandarin.orange

[TakeruK]

I agree. I definitely have time for a social life, but that's because I know that if I don't make time, I will go nuts. Think of grad school like a job. Don't let it control your entire life. Burnout can be a serious problem and it's important to keep things in perspective! Taking some time to be with friends can give you the balance to be a better student.

One perk of grad school is that you can usually choose how much time to put into it, with the exception of attending courses or seminars I guess. I am married and my wife moved (and will move again) with me for my education so I make sure I am spending a fair amount of time with her. I treat grad school like a job and usually work ~50 hours a week (9-5 or so on weekdays, and a little bit on weekends or evenings). When I had courses, studying for finals and doing assignments took more time, but otherwise I tried to keep away from any kind of school work at 5 or 6pm (at this time my responsibilities become cooking dinner and doing chores around the house!). My idea of a social life is probably about one night a week at the pub with my friends, the occasional party or dinner party, and doing stuff with my wife (seeing a movie or show, day or weekend trips to things etc.), and I never feel like school gets in the way of this. I think I am doing well at school too, good GPA, making the expected progress on my thesis, etc.

Note: Although I admit that all my friends here are also grad students at the school....but I'm only here for 2 years, and there seems be a huge split in the local vs. university population. But I think it might be a common thing that most grad students have time for a social life, but most of it revolves around people at school (this may be by choice, but it does take less time for a social life with other grad students than with "real people").

Edited May 4, 2012 by TakeruK

[Stately Plump]

I visited a prospective school and one of the students I met with told me that he drank way more as a graduate student than an undergrad. But, he admitted, that partly because he would get together with his cohort mates and drink while discussing the readings, etc. So he was more likely to pair drinking/social-ish life with the work he had to do.

Depending on the intensity of the program, you may find that your social life is mostly a "school/work" oriented social life. Personally, I'm kind of excited to meet others who are as passionate as I am about my area of study.

[StrangeLight]

that sounds like drinking to cope, not drinking to socialize.

different departments have different cultures over how much work can or can't be done. when i was in undergrad, i'd grab a pint at lunch with a friend and then we'd go to class at 2 pm. no biggie. now, in grad school, when i ask others about grabbing a pint at 6 pm with dinner, i'm told that they can't because they can't stop at just one drink and they have more work to do in the evening. two problems there... one, not being able to stop at one drink (but i think that's an american thing), and two, having more work to do at 8, 9, 10 pm.

you will not go out every night while you're in grad school. you probably won't really go "out" once a week either. maybe you'd catch a movie a week or something, but you won't be hitting the club and getting hammered and recovering from your hangover on a weekly basis. and not because you'll be working from 10 pm to 2 am (hopefully not!), but because you can't afford to lose the next morning. you'll need that time to work. you will do some work every single day. i've seen people try to fight it ("i take saturdays off"), but eventually that goes away when the work piles up.

your social life will reemerge when you're done your coursework and qualifying exams, though, so it's temporary.

[Dal PhDer]

Honestly, your social life is what you make it.

Others have said it- you will always have work to do, but it's setting goals (and limits) and making sure you have the right balance.

I put in work during the days, evenings, and weekends...but I make sure that I take time off (an evening twice a week, lunch/dinner with friends, gym/walk during the day)...and when I do- I DON'T THINK OR TALK ABOUT SCHOOL/WORK! I like having friends outside of my program, because when we go out, I am away from school- it's a real break. Mind you, it's great to have friends in the program too, and be able to have relaxing study days at the library, or grabbing a drink and venting about your project, the lab, supervisors, coworkers. You need a break to have you time, or you will get burnt out.

the other thing I find helps me is making sure the time I spend working, is quality time. I can work all day, but get nothing done because I am on here (lalalala), facebook, gossip websites, gchat....I spend more time 'working' because that's how I like to do it...I work hard for an hour, and then fluff off for an hour....I find a lot of students will 'work' 24/7, but when you really break down what they do, they aren't putting in 'real' work...if you know what I mean.

I also think that work/social life will be a bit up and down. I know I have times during the year (March-April) where I am swamped and no matter what I do, I am ALWAYS busy...but that's life.

My biggest piece of advice- make sure you schedule YOU time...give yourself a day or couple evenings off- you will need it!