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Overwhelmed by Research


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I decided to start my graduate program over the summer as a RA in my PIs lab. I have been at it for three weeks, and I have to admit, I am sort of overwhelmed. I have only taken undergrad O. Chem, but that seems like it wasn't adequate to do graduate level work. I have tons of papers to read, and some of it looks like greek. Every time I think I understand what I am doing, something doesn't go right. I am glad I decided to start earlier than in the fall, and work my way through the learning curve. Is this common. I have industry experience, but this is on another level.

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I can relate...

I am getting increasingly frightened about the math I will be expected to know for my program (Management). On paper I don't think my preparation looks that bad, but my serious math courses were taken during the freshman year of my undergrad - 9 years ago. I am trying to prepare by doing some of the MIT OpenCourseware courses. They are good and make me feel better, but then I look at the lecture notes for the "Math Camp" I have to attend this summer and I panic. I am pretty concerned about being able to handle my coursework in the Fall.

Anyway, I don't know if your anxiety is "common", but you are certainly not alone either - I am right there with you!

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Dr. Egg- Thanks for the lead on the MIT stuff -- I too am nervous about not having done any mathematical heavy-lifting for many years. I don't think this would apply to business, but the physics prof I've been talking to over the summer recommended "Div, Grad, Curl, and All That," by Schey, as a way to review vector calc for science types.

Process- You are not alone!

Though my program (and, thus acceptance) was through the Dept of Ed, the catch with the Science Ed strand is that we're expected to earn the equivalent of a master's in a science discipline -- in my case physics -- and I'm quite sure I don't have the chops to have been accepted into the physics grad program, in spite of good grades 5 years ago. What I remember about my upper-level classes was working really hard to kind of get it -- and that was when it was fresh!

So, I'm trying to review this summer, and made a plan that involves reading/doing problems from various introductory math & physics classes, and even high school calculus is requiring some review. At this rate, there's not way I'll get through it all. (Ahh!)

Thankfully, there's a physics prof (referenced above) who is really interested in physics education, and doesn't seem as phased by my rustiness in upper-level stuff. He also proposed meeting with me to discuss a book about teaching physics, and last night I pulled my first staying-up-late-to-finish-reading... and grad school hasn't even begun!

I'm still optimistic that we will get into the groove, and it will then just be the normal (high) level of feeling inadequate that is par for the grad school course.

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I decided to start my graduate program over the summer as a RA in my PIs lab. I have been at it for three weeks, and I have to admit, I am sort of overwhelmed. I have only taken undergrad O. Chem, but that seems like it wasn't adequate to do graduate level work. I have tons of papers to read, and some of it looks like greek. Every time I think I understand what I am doing, something doesn't go right. I am glad I decided to start earlier than in the fall, and work my way through the learning curve. Is this common. I have industry experience, but this is on another level.

When I started my grad studies, 90% of the papers I read seemed like Chinese to me (the 10% were papers discussing EXACTLY the kind of research I did as an undergrad). There's the temptation to try to understand everything; but what helps me is to try to get the idea of the paper first, without trying to understand every detail. Then I can re-read it and focus more on the details, and I can discuss the details with my advisor or with other students/postdocs. As I've been reading more papers and done more research, things made sense more often. It also helped me at the beginning to read some review papers.

There still are times when a paper is too difficult to understand right away; that happens to professors too, not only to students. Also, some papers are written so poorly, that it's not always your "fault" for having difficulties with them.

Conferences are kind of similar. The first ones I went to, I barely understood ~20% of what was being said (usually just the first few introduction slides...). Now it's much better. I was actually at a conference ten days ago, and 90% of what was said was NOT Chinese.

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When I started my grad studies, 90% of the papers I read seemed like Chinese to me (the 10% were papers discussing EXACTLY the kind of research I did as an undergrad). There's the temptation to try to understand everything; but what helps me is to try to get the idea of the paper first, without trying to understand every detail. Then I can re-read it and focus more on the details, and I can discuss the details with my advisor or with other students/postdocs. As I've been reading more papers and done more research, things made sense more often. It also helped me at the beginning to read some review papers. There still are times when a paper is too difficult to understand right away; that happens to professors too, not only to students. Also, some papers are written so poorly, that it's not always your "fault" for having difficulties with them. Conferences are kind of similar. The first ones I went to, I barely understood ~20% of what was being said (usually just the first few introduction slides...). Now it's much better. I was actually at a conference ten days ago, and 90% of what was said was NOT Chinese.

This is very reassuring, thanks:-) I agree that many papers are very badly written...

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Yup sounds normal to me. I also found many of the papers I read at first seemed like they were written in another language. It takes time but you will eventually figure it out. I too started a bit early, doing somewhat related work for the summer at my undergrad institution. I was very happy that I did so, it definitely helped me a lot.

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Reading this topic has helped me relax a bit! I'm going to be TA'ing this fall, and have been extremely nervous that I'm going to be horrible at it. Granted, I know that not everyone admitted into my program is given a TA position, and so the department must have faith in my abilities...but nevertheless, I feel like it's going to be a disaster. I did my BA in two chunks, separated by about 3 years, and am currently finishing a year off between finishing my BA and starting my MA; sooooo, I (presumably) won't be as fresh as some of the other TA's. I'm already nervous enough that I'll be 29 years old, while most of the others will probably be younger and information will be fresher in their minds.

Also, since people are expressing worries: anyone else worried they'll be discovered as a fraud or something once they get to grad school? haha I mean, I know an admissions committee decided to admit me and give me good funding..but I'm still nervous that everyone is going to be 4589347534 x smarter than me when I get there, and they'll send me packing instantly. Crazy, right?

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Also, since people are expressing worries: anyone else worried they'll be discovered as a fraud or something once they get to grad school? haha I mean, I know an admissions committee decided to admit me and give me good funding..but I'm still nervous that everyone is going to be 4589347534 x smarter than me when I get there, and they'll send me packing instantly. Crazy, right?

If you haven't read this yet, it's worth taking a look at:

http://www.nature.com/naturejobs/science/articles/10.1038/nj7245-468a

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Also, since people are expressing worries: anyone else worried they'll be discovered as a fraud or something once they get to grad school? haha I mean, I know an admissions committee decided to admit me and give me good funding..but I'm still nervous that everyone is going to be 4589347534 x smarter than me when I get there, and they'll send me packing instantly. Crazy, right?

I have had a lot of crazy moments while in grad school. A little while ago I had myself convinced that my research progress was so poor that they were going to kick me out of my program, even though I had never had any indication that that was the case. I had been doing well in my classes, my research presentations were well received and I managed to secure a large chunk of external funding for myself next year. I just received my grade for my research assessment meetings and was given an A, confirming that I was indeed crazy and irrational.

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Yes, I think all of what we're experiencing is normal-- doubt, feeling overwhelmed, impostor syndrome, the whole deal. I'm just trying to stay realistic. I'm a natural pessimist, so being realistic is hard enough-- being positive would be a stretch!

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Weird how I'm comforted by the fact that I am crazy and irrational, as opposed to having sane thoughts. Thanks, all! :)

If you haven't read this yet, it's worth taking a look at:

http://www.nature.co...038/nj7245-468a

Also, this article is comforting as well. Merci beaucoup!

Edited by Hank Scorpio
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